Single. People let you know that they are in a relationship when a random person talks to them for more than a few minutes to give them a hint. I totally appreciate that more than anything. I also appreciate that they let you know in some way that they are religious or believe in god etc. That's my que. This is when I can bow out gracefully. But it seems every woman i meet seems to say something like "I can never date a man who doesn't have Jesus in their heart" or what church do you go to? What's worse are the ones who go back and forth in life. They say they are not religious anymore yet still believe "there is a god". I have fallen for that one. My fault not theirs. Not like they intend on tricking you. Then later somewhere down the line they have seen the light yet once again and they are super into God and Jesus. I know I can only feel comfortable only saying this on here but I just can't date them. Not even just for the sex with the very sexual ones. I can't wrap my head around the thought that I feel like anyone who talks like this are absolutely crazy. I am a realist and a naturalist. I feel like its 99% of them in my town in North Florida. I feel like its about 90% of the world. I hope I am wrong. It seems like when I get to the bigger cities I meet a few that are not believers. I have not met one person in here that is anywhere close to me. I can't date someone who can't have an intellectual conversation with . The second they start adding god into everything I am done. I've been single almost a year now and would rather stay that way instead of selling out my true beliefs.
Thank you everyone for your support. I have realized that I really do need to move at least an hour away to Saint Augustine. It has a great scene. Art walk and some lovely classy ladies about. I'm not moving just so I meet the love of my life. I'm moving so I can have some of my own culture that I like around me. Make friends and have things in common with people. It's a fun city. There are a lot of old hippies. Lots of artists and galleries. Lots of music shows. I don't have anything in common with the guys who tie rebel flags to the back if their truck, blast country rap music (it's a thing here) and go mudding or hunting like its a lifestyle. I don't mind it. It's just not for me. It will take a few months to move but it had to be done. I will still have my daughter same amount of time. She loves Saint Augustine. Thank you everyone. Cheers!
Wow, the more I hear about life in the US (relating to religion) and also when I visited the more baffled i become. The rest of the world doesn't function like that, not even Muslim countries. Religion is not rammed down your throat and people are not rude or obnoxious to you when discussing it either. What is is it with the US, is it in the water or what?
I have lived with two women who believed in god, but are not religious. I have had friends who also believe but are not religious. It has never created one problem for me. Religions are organizations like the NRA or Boy Scouts. Folks believe or don't believe in all kinds of things. Organizations are where the dangers exist.
That's the story of my love life. I live in Kansas, and we non-believers are a rare breed here. Now I'm a bitter old bachelor. I should have moved to a more agnostic city, State, or country, but I let comfort and entanglements prevent me from doing so.
My advice? Get the fuck out of Florida while you're still young enough to mate!
When men casually hit on me while I'm hiking, or walking my dog here in my Albuquerque, NM, subdivision, I only talk about mundane things since men in this upscale housing division are typically married, with grown kids..single men don't usually buy $300,000 homes.
Only one guy let it slip that he was a religious Trump follower, so I said I didn't want to be friends with him, and walked away. I waste little time talking with religious wackos.
But if I ever feel well enough to date again, I'd join a local meet up, or start attending community events for seniors where I can meet people of either gender, for dating and/or friendship
I can agree with you. The second they start adding god into everything I am also done. A believer is one thing but when your daily banter goes into "isn't it a lovely day that god has made" I think we are done. I will not be browbeat and if I look at a tree I'm not looking for Jesus.
I wasn't sure what you were asking here until you commented on your post.
This is a case where dating/matchmaking sites can be very useful. Non-believers in oppressive areas of the country are understandably reluctant to reveal themselves in person, but the anonymity offered by these services allows them to be clear about themselves. I've encountered many non-believers in this way. Next I have to learn how to spark their interest.
I can't get over the fact that they either literally believe I will burn in hell for eternity or they don't really believe in Christianity anyway so they are just fake. If I really thought someone I cared about was going to literal hell forever I would not speak or think of anything else around them. Also religious men I've been with seem to be less sex positive than I prefer. The shaming around it is a turnoff.
FYI::::: The majority become involved with their next significants from the people the already know.
So, it make perfect sense to expand one's circle of acquaintances. AG and OK and all the others, provide a reasonable way to expand the increasingly probability of a good person has become part of the circle of acquaintance.
I work alone. No office, no classes, no groups. Many different clients, many different offices, seldom interaction for more than 2 minutes. Hence i am here to find new friends i want to be included in my acquaintance circle. ( I know it is more of a globe. but,...)
Tell me how this is unreasonable?
Being an Atheist is does not mean they will have all the qualities I am looking for. Being an atheist or naturalist if rather claim is important. I just can't deal with the ones that are basing their conversations on what Jesus or God would want them to do and what the Bible says. This bothers me because I feel like they are not following their own heart. Their own mind and even their own thoughts so I feel like you will never know who they truly are and who they will grow into being had they lead their own lives. They think they know who they are but it's more about what they are. I'm an artist but that's not who I am. That is what I am. It does play a part in who I am but not in full even sometimes I loose myself in it yet that's part of being an artist. I am also a park ranger and a Gardener but I never ever thinknit had anything to do with who I am. Religious people don't care who they truly are. The answer always is. The child of God or something like that. . So I have decided to definitely move into a better town. I can't do California or Seattle or Portland because my ex is an odd home body and when her roots spread into the ground she is grounded. She is a Chameleon and will adapt to anyone she dates. She acts like a country girl now as in being hillbilly. When we met she was very Punk Rock and city with a Mohawk. We all grow up I guess and change and that's OK. But I want my artist life back and that's going to happen. Hair should not be a big deal but I lost my identity when I cut my long hair off for her. I've been growing it back for over a year. Not so sure I like it so long anyways but it's not there yet. All I'm saying is sometimes we change for others and sometimes we allow ourselves to be changed busy others. I'm giving myself time and working on my art and making a lot of pieces so I can have plenty to show. I will attract the right people to me this way.
Artistlover, I can relate. I have never been with or dated a woman that is a atheist. I have been thru N. Florida on numerous occasions so you are at a disadvantage since Alabama can pretty much annex N. Florida and people would not know the difference. Let me make a suggestion and I want you to let me know how it goes.
It is difficult to go from zero to "boom I'm an atheist" with a woman who holds to a HP belief. For me, I typically have been around a woman thru work, camping, boot camp, etc. where they got a feel for me BEFORE my heathen status came up. That mitigates the angst they feel because they were comfortable with me.
People tend to connect more easily when they have a chance to just hang out. Structured dating makes that tough because it is almost a interview. If you have a chance to chill and hang out, then the chemistry should kick in. Trust me, we all want the same things in a relationship/companion. Problem is people are threatened by the unfamiliar. You just have to get past that.
Do what you normally do and let things flow. I have had some interesting reactions when I have told women I was a atheist BUT the 2 women that had the biggest problem were cool AFTER the shock wore off. They need a chance to see YOU not some scary, crazy person that doesn't believe in god (sarcasm). I have dated, Buddhist, Catholic, Muslim and people are people.
Good luck and remember the sage advice from Austin
Stick to your standards, they are really the only thing you have that you should pay attention to. As others have noted, some geographic areas are more likely to have like-minded women than others, and if romance is a compelling need for you, yeah you may have to travel. But you need to consider the whole package. Don't make the mistake of dating someone just because they have similar views about religious beliefs as you. You can let a ringer slip in under the radar that way. Don't give up, and all the best to you partner.
Amen! Lol, unfortunately. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had the “Do you accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Savior?” after having a lovely conversation otherwise. Especially in these times in the US it’s difficult to find non-religious singles. I hear you!
As I get older, the intellectual part of a relationship becomes more and more important. It's much easier to have simple physical attraction when you are both in your 20s. I also need someone who isn't basing their life on a magic sky god. Even in my northern town that is not that small the pickings seem slim. I think that moving to a progressive city may be the best way to go. Good luck to you.
Tomorrow is another event. Not a Rock show like last night in Jacksonville but a permaculture gardening and artist crowd in Gainesville. A different interest crowd that I like as well and a lot of those people have a similar music culture interests and as well. Wish me luck. This time I'm getting a number. Building confidence. Events are where it's at. Although I do like this site be sure I won't even have to ask much about their beliefs In religion.
So I went out to Jacksonville last night and met like 20 people. I didn't exchange one number but I did give my business card to most of them. Just looking for friends at the moment in that scene. When you are in a new crowd you just make friends and eventually find out who's single. Very important! Also if a new friend likes you they will introduce you to their friends and you meet someone. Or you can ask them about someone your interested in. Get the trust of their friends first other wise if they don't know you they may fear I trouncing you to so. Wine they know. I encourage everyone to find an event they like and just meet people. Doesn't matter if it's the same sex. I think that's the best way actually. Of your a guy, meet the guys first. They way your learning who is with who first and your not hitting on the ladies in a relationship already. I did .eet someone at the last minute who walked up to me and asked me who I was. We hit it off for a while but mingles back into the crowd and then it was 2:am and I woukdnt get home till 3:am and then got to work at 6:30. I was still an hour late and overslept. Luckily we cover for each other at work and we don't punch in. I'm almost never late. Anyways I should have walked up to her even though she was talking to another guy and said. Im leaving but can I have your number. Ah! I. Building up my confidence this way by getting out there and meeting people. I will definitely do this next time. It's a regular hangout for regulars so I know she will be there at the next show. I feel comfortable waiting a second time sometimes and being a familiar face and seeing how they react as in if they remembered you and are excited to see you. If not then I accept the fact and let it be. But it's most likely better to get the number and show your confidence. Anyways, good times going out last night. I have not gotten one good response from anyone on any site since I got on them only several months ago and last night I met at least 8 women. 3 couples told me to get the hell out of the town I am in. I'm taking everyone's advice and moving on from this town. My ex can have this place. I won't be that far away from my daughter and will still see her the same amount of time. Besides she loves Saint Augustine and maybe my ex and her new boyfriend will move that way as well. I just fear being too far if an emergency should occur with my daughter.