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Single. People let you know that they are in a relationship when a random person talks to them for more than a few minutes to give them a hint. I totally appreciate that more than anything. I also appreciate that they let you know in some way that they are religious or believe in god etc. That's my que. This is when I can bow out gracefully. But it seems every woman i meet seems to say something like "I can never date a man who doesn't have Jesus in their heart" or what church do you go to? What's worse are the ones who go back and forth in life. They say they are not religious anymore yet still believe "there is a god". I have fallen for that one. My fault not theirs. Not like they intend on tricking you. Then later somewhere down the line they have seen the light yet once again and they are super into God and Jesus. I know I can only feel comfortable only saying this on here but I just can't date them. Not even just for the sex with the very sexual ones. I can't wrap my head around the thought that I feel like anyone who talks like this are absolutely crazy. I am a realist and a naturalist. I feel like its 99% of them in my town in North Florida. I feel like its about 90% of the world. I hope I am wrong. It seems like when I get to the bigger cities I meet a few that are not believers. I have not met one person in here that is anywhere close to me. I can't date someone who can't have an intellectual conversation with . The second they start adding god into everything I am done. I've been single almost a year now and would rather stay that way instead of selling out my true beliefs.

Artistlover 6 Aug 16

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Wow- you meet people!
How cool is that!

I go out. I go to art walks in near by cities. I go to events that I am interested in. I do a lot of things with my daughter song end up metting single mothers. I meet people at my job all the time since I entertain people with environmental classes they sign up for. Most of them end up being religious. Meeting people online seems way harder.


Well, I'd say your odds to stop being single are getting better in America.

I thought the Christians would be the biggest group? My grandmother was a protestant bit she told me long ago that there were not many left and they are all basically Christian? It's just the town I'm in. I need to move.

@Artistlover protestants are christians


Thank you everyone for your support. I have realized that I really do need to move at least an hour away to Saint Augustine. It has a great scene. Art walk and some lovely classy ladies about. I'm not moving just so I meet the love of my life. I'm moving so I can have some of my own culture that I like around me. Make friends and have things in common with people. It's a fun city. There are a lot of old hippies. Lots of artists and galleries. Lots of music shows. I don't have anything in common with the guys who tie rebel flags to the back if their truck, blast country rap music (it's a thing here) and go mudding or hunting like its a lifestyle. I don't mind it. It's just not for me. It will take a few months to move but it had to be done. I will still have my daughter same amount of time. She loves Saint Augustine. Thank you everyone. Cheers!


Wow, the more I hear about life in the US (relating to religion) and also when I visited the more baffled i become. The rest of the world doesn't function like that, not even Muslim countries. Religion is not rammed down your throat and people are not rude or obnoxious to you when discussing it either. What is is it with the US, is it in the water or what?

We seem to have the religion/gun disease ... bad !

This is I interesting. I assumed that all religions sent some people out to convert. I assumed this happened everywhere. Yeah I get people that ask me if I have accepted god or Jesus into my heart and they continue on about how they want to save my soul from a burning hell etc etc. I use to argue with them when I was a teenager but I let it all go over my head now and just humour them quickly and I'm out.

Yes, it is a sad reality in the US right now. It feels like a holly war of the US. And, not to get into politics, but present government is not helping the situation. I have very hard time finding people who would not be affiliated with some kind of church. From my experience even the so called "non denominational" churches try to suck you in by telling you how tollerant they are about other religions. Europe is not like that with exeption of one or two countries right now.

@evergreen Well, except that I am a gun toting Atheist. So, there's that!!

@Normanbites Like I said ...

I know I was in North Carolina for a while and pretended I was Christian for an easy life. I can’t imagine how the non-Christians sustain it.


I have lived with two women who believed in god, but are not religious. I have had friends who also believe but are not religious. It has never created one problem for me. Religions are organizations like the NRA or Boy Scouts. Folks believe or don't believe in all kinds of things. Organizations are where the dangers exist.

Yes that's true. Stay away from anything organized. Be independent or else they want you to think like them. I have dated women who are not religious though they believe in god and the subject never came up. It was not a problem but lately I'm meeting these people who can't have one conversation without saying things like "that's why we must have Jesus in our hearts" It doesn't bother me but I know that's a red flag and I humour them so I don't disrespect them and move on in my head.

@Artistlover I do exactly the same thing.


when I was on dating sites, I passed on any religion.....I can't either.

Did those dating sites ever work? I hear most have fake profiles to get more memberships. Whatever happened to being able to freely look up random People. It seems like they have it blocked or something. I use to meet people on MySpace by the culture by typing in a band and female and single and the area. Can't do that on facebook facebook or Myspace anymore. The dating sites have some control. If you want to meet locals online you have to look up events you like and see who is going. That's better than a dating site. Like a rock show for example. Or whatever your into.

@Artistlover Never worked for me. But I did meet some ages ago on AOL when I was a remote host. Married for a few years until problems developed. But that wasn't a dating site. I'm just going to be happy using to go do things as a group and be done with it. My problems with the dating sites were not fake profiles but was a series of types of men that use those sites. I'm sure men run into the same thing with their own types. But it's to their benefit for you to remain on their site....not to succeed.

@Larimar an ex of mine says she has had luck finding relationships on them but then she said as a woman she was so swamped by men and it's so over whelming that you don't even want to read them at all. I swear it's actually harder to meet people online than it is to meet people by going out to events you like within your culture. This site is good to weed out the god fearers which is why I found it. I meet a lot of people but mist are religious.

@Artistlover #1 it depends upon your definition of success. #2 she was probably younger than I am....the older one is the worse it is on the sites #3 Weeding out at my age can get downright depressing and I refuse to live that way. Life's too short...I'l go out and enjoy it however I can.


That's the story of my love life. I live in Kansas, and we non-believers are a rare breed here. Now I'm a bitter old bachelor. I should have moved to a more agnostic city, State, or country, but I let comfort and entanglements prevent me from doing so.

My advice? Get the fuck out of Florida while you're still young enough to mate!

Yeah I feel you. Thanks for the advice. It's not all of Florida. But it's definitely these small towns where the people have never left. Generations upon generations of brain washing and I definitely don't ever want to try to change anyone's mind. I respect them for their beliefs but I wish I could know sooner. Sometimes you talk to someone for days or weeks and you don't know they are believers because they just don't talk about it. Im not settling on the fact that they are subtle with it because to me something is seriously off with them. I don't ever argue or get political. I just stick with my thing, usually that's simply art and nature. I would move but I want to be near my 8 year old daughter. I'm kind of hoping that this site will connect me with more atheists etc and I won't have to ask them their beliefs. Thanks for your reply


When men casually hit on me while I'm hiking, or walking my dog here in my Albuquerque, NM, subdivision, I only talk about mundane things since men in this upscale housing division are typically married, with grown kids..single men don't usually buy $300,000 homes.

Only one guy let it slip that he was a religious Trump follower, so I said I didn't want to be friends with him, and walked away. I waste little time talking with religious wackos.

But if I ever feel well enough to date again, I'd join a local meet up, or start attending community events for seniors where I can meet people of either gender, for dating and/or friendship


lot of retirees in florida isn't there? i'm sure there are atheist organizations there. check it out. make new friends.

I never gave it a thought that there are athiest organizations. Makes since though. I never really thought of it. Yeah Florida gets the two that everyone here is a retiree and a lot are bit we have great beaches and where there are great beaches there are also lots of young people. I'm just in a rural area with a small town. Im use to Miami and LA but I moved here thinking i would be fine as long as I could focus on my art without distractions. The reality is as an artist i need those distractions to be inspired. So I have decided to move to a cool hip town only an hour away, Saint Augustine. It's the best I can do at the moment. It's halfway to Jacksonville a very cool city and Orlando is about and hour and half. So yeah it's just the area I need to change. Thanks for your reply.


I can agree with you. The second they start adding god into everything I am also done. A believer is one thing but when your daily banter goes into "isn't it a lovely day that god has made" I think we are done. I will not be browbeat and if I look at a tree I'm not looking for Jesus.


Looks like you are hunting in the wrong reserve!

Perhaps be more discerning with regard to the places you go to meet non-religious people!

I will keep that in mind. I go art shows. Sometimes rock shows. Sometimes events that have to do with growing plants.


I wasn't sure what you were asking here until you commented on your post.

This is a case where dating/matchmaking sites can be very useful. Non-believers in oppressive areas of the country are understandably reluctant to reveal themselves in person, but the anonymity offered by these services allows them to be clear about themselves. I've encountered many non-believers in this way. Next I have to learn how to spark their interest.

That's it. You can't reveal yourself in this town. Everyone knows everyone and they all go to church. That's not a problem but these type of religious people here will stop you frombgetting a higher position at your job, let you go etc. People say oh well you can sue them. Your not going to know why because they are not going to say it to you. I don't really worry about that though I do know that's happens. You are right about these sites. This is what I am hoping for. To weed through the having to ask about their beliefs. Someone was saying I should wear an Atheist shirt. 😂 I would never want to disrespect these people. I just want to find the ones that have the same beliefs because the time you spend getting to know someone is such a waste when after a few weeks they ask you to go to church with them and their family.


I just joined OurTime...paid for it, and so far I have been impressed, as the profile includes political stance & religious helpful!

Another site? That's cool

For Over-60ish people


You would have to move or be willing to travel. I am doing the long distance thing and it is hard. But worth it, at least for now.

You are right. I do think about moving but I my daughters mother is getting comfortable in this town since I gave her and her new boyfriend my house and land. They were going to move to Saint Augustine and I'm hoping I can still somehow convince them to. I have been going to Saint Augustine art walks every month and I'm working my way into getting to know the local artists at least and be part of a community rather than wandering around and not knowing a soul.

@Artistlover kids! That makes it more difficult.

@GreatNani yeah but in that since they can either not be involved or be involved with my kids. I can go either way. I always said I won't date then if they don't accept my kids but then again I only have my daughter half the time now. So sometimes I look like I don't have kids and I notice I meet more women with no kids and when I'm with the kids I meet more women who have kids. But then they ask you what Church do you go to. 😂 I fade out generously

@Artistlover yes! Fade out is the right thing to do 🙂 you will meet someone. And the only thing they have to like is kids. They don't have to have any, just have to like them.

@GreatNani I have actually met women who just don't like kids at all. That bothers me. Even an ex long ago never liked kids. Now she has two girls and she is going off to school for 2 years here and 2 years there and contract medical jobs out of state. I could never do that. It's hard for me to date anyone who can leave their kids behind for 2 years. I don't want that energy anywhere near my kids. I thought I could date her on the side since she said she never forgot me and she's single now but I can't get past how she talks about her won kids. She loves them but doesn't care to be present for them that often. She does calk them and she will be leaving a fortune behind for them like her dad did for her but they are just 8 and 9 years old. They need mama. I faded out and stopped communicating so often. She was calling me weekly for a while and she is a real cutie but I just can't. I feel some negative energy in her and that shit is contagious.

@Artistlover well that is not surprising about the negative energy. If she grew up neglected like that it makes sense she would do the same. Sad for her kiddos.


I can't get over the fact that they either literally believe I will burn in hell for eternity or they don't really believe in Christianity anyway so they are just fake. If I really thought someone I cared about was going to literal hell forever I would not speak or think of anything else around them. Also religious men I've been with seem to be less sex positive than I prefer. The shaming around it is a turnoff.

MsAl Level 8 Aug 16, 2019

I've observed that some people who describe themselves as "Christian" are using it as a cultural reference. Some are open-minded and some are combative. I tolerate as much religiosity as I can, but even I (who has very few choices) can only take so much.

Yes I can't deal with people who are prude and against sex. It's not healthy. If they have issues with sex they never tell you till your being seductive and romantic and they shut you down. That's OK. I have the right to walk away but then they want you deal with that and say hoe I am wrong and that I should be with them and not be so sexual. People don't understand their selves or their sexuality be sure they only understand what a book tells them to do. Be ashamed of them selves. It's so wrong. I want a healthy animalistic relationship that endures all our natural senses and not have to be ashamed.

@Artistlover I had one offer to let me hang around with her if I gave her free tutoring. They REALLY believe they are holy!


FYI::::: The majority become involved with their next significants from the people the already know.

So, it make perfect sense to expand one's circle of acquaintances. AG and OK and all the others, provide a reasonable way to expand the increasingly probability of a good person has become part of the circle of acquaintance.

I work alone. No office, no classes, no groups. Many different clients, many different offices, seldom interaction for more than 2 minutes. Hence i am here to find new friends i want to be included in my acquaintance circle. ( I know it is more of a globe. but,...)

Tell me how this is unreasonable?

It's not unreasonable. What I got from it is exactly true. Make as many friends as possible and become an aquIntance as much as possible to many people in many circled and you expand the chances. If not then you are either a stranger or unnoticeable. I say find a few places that you like to got to or would like to go to where your culture or people are hanging out. Introduce yourself to anyone out there and and they will remember you and maybe you hit a similar interest and even better used a similar interest to strike up a conversation. Not the next time you go there or the next week you are a familiar face to at least a few people. Walk up and. Say hello and start some small talk. If they say hi and walk away after a few words that's OK. People are socially busy. Meet more people that night and so on. At some point you will called into a circle and someone will introduce you to some of their friends. Be a social butterfly. That's how it works. If a woman notices you but is very shy she may never let you know butshe will let her friends know and they will say oh I know that guy. Want me to introduce you or at least go up to you and tell you to go talk to her. So many ways it can work but the best watch's like you said to meet as many people and break into other circles. I make friends with the guys first this way no-one feels like I am a threat and this way you find out who is single and who is not. Chances are you will find out who is a religious freak even though they are at a show that Christians would normally not be at. You really have to find out or ask at least but don't be rude and close the door to that circle. I have Been in an 8 years relationship and now I'm getting out there again after 8 months. Thanks for the reminder because I kind of forget after so long and getting back out there eat age 45 is totally different thN when I was 30. That's how youbdonit though like you said. Meet as many people as possible. You don't have to walk right up to a woman you are attracted to right off the bat though if you do that's OK too butvthen you look like the charmer and the girls start talking and saying "twanged Hutton me too" and hit on so and so as well. Still it does work but once your talked about in a certain circle you are still on the outside of the circle. You want t be in the circles so make the friends with as many as possible. You are correct


Being an Atheist is does not mean they will have all the qualities I am looking for. Being an atheist or naturalist if rather claim is important. I just can't deal with the ones that are basing their conversations on what Jesus or God would want them to do and what the Bible says. This bothers me because I feel like they are not following their own heart. Their own mind and even their own thoughts so I feel like you will never know who they truly are and who they will grow into being had they lead their own lives. They think they know who they are but it's more about what they are. I'm an artist but that's not who I am. That is what I am. It does play a part in who I am but not in full even sometimes I loose myself in it yet that's part of being an artist. I am also a park ranger and a Gardener but I never ever thinknit had anything to do with who I am. Religious people don't care who they truly are. The answer always is. The child of God or something like that. . So I have decided to definitely move into a better town. I can't do California or Seattle or Portland because my ex is an odd home body and when her roots spread into the ground she is grounded. She is a Chameleon and will adapt to anyone she dates. She acts like a country girl now as in being hillbilly. When we met she was very Punk Rock and city with a Mohawk. We all grow up I guess and change and that's OK. But I want my artist life back and that's going to happen. Hair should not be a big deal but I lost my identity when I cut my long hair off for her. I've been growing it back for over a year. Not so sure I like it so long anyways but it's not there yet. All I'm saying is sometimes we change for others and sometimes we allow ourselves to be changed busy others. I'm giving myself time and working on my art and making a lot of pieces so I can have plenty to show. I will attract the right people to me this way.


Artistlover, I can relate. I have never been with or dated a woman that is a atheist. I have been thru N. Florida on numerous occasions so you are at a disadvantage since Alabama can pretty much annex N. Florida and people would not know the difference. Let me make a suggestion and I want you to let me know how it goes.

  1. It is difficult to go from zero to "boom I'm an atheist" with a woman who holds to a HP belief. For me, I typically have been around a woman thru work, camping, boot camp, etc. where they got a feel for me BEFORE my heathen status came up. That mitigates the angst they feel because they were comfortable with me.

  2. People tend to connect more easily when they have a chance to just hang out. Structured dating makes that tough because it is almost a interview. If you have a chance to chill and hang out, then the chemistry should kick in. Trust me, we all want the same things in a relationship/companion. Problem is people are threatened by the unfamiliar. You just have to get past that.

  3. Do what you normally do and let things flow. I have had some interesting reactions when I have told women I was a atheist BUT the 2 women that had the biggest problem were cool AFTER the shock wore off. They need a chance to see YOU not some scary, crazy person that doesn't believe in god (sarcasm). I have dated, Buddhist, Catholic, Muslim and people are people.

Good luck and remember the sage advice from Austin

Thank for writing a bunch and the advice. You like me I actually try to help someone instead of showing off social internet skills with a play of words and emojis. I do appreciate all positive comments though. I'm not really desperate for a relationship. I actually went on a couple of dates and realized that I can't do this because I have little time with juggling my daughter, my job and trying to get my art career and business back up and running. When I do that and I have a February ready or not deadline then I will just let go and start making time for dating. It's been 9 months for me and I do need to move on. As an artist i feel like a rock star. I did before I met my ex who slowly controlled everything that git me attention from the ladies even though I was dedicated to her. I stopped my art eventually. I cut my long hair. I moved out of LA back to Florida south Florida and worse North Florida. I was no longer going to art walks and i lost myself and moved into a town where the culture here is not diverse at all. My biggest issue is where I live for sure so you hit the nail on the head with that one.

I generally let things flow and don't let them know I am Atheist right off the bat but I also don't wait too long. There have been tines in my past when I when I have met a religious girl A ctually while in Alabama and she was not so worried about sinning in bed. So yeah your right it may not matter that much for some of them being somewhat religious. It's just that here they are very adamant about telling you they just can't date a man who does not have Jesus in the life and every conversation ends with Jesus and god. Man I just can't look past it anymore.

I'm going to take your advice and do what I normally do. I'm getting my artist look back. I'm painting again and making art so when I show I do have that about me. I feel like I belong there instead of the guy who is wandering around and not knowing anyone. I make friends quick with artists because they have a local community. I. Taking about Saint Augustine and I mean that more than half the people are tourists so walking up to anyone is not a good idea. You have to find your culture and your local scene and make friends with everyone. This way you can find out respectfully whorish single without having to embarrass yourself hitting on the ladies in a relationship.

I'm going to move and recreate my self all over again. Not being fake. Just having a look and a style. My image. My art (which is what I do). My Look, my culture because right now I'm a park ranger and I look like a military guy (who is the gardener). The ladies like flowers so that's a win. With some if them anyways. My style so I can look good and most of all getting back to the "me" that I lost for the past 8 years. The good thing about the art scene is that artists are all ages. I'm older now but that's good.


Stick to your standards, they are really the only thing you have that you should pay attention to. As others have noted, some geographic areas are more likely to have like-minded women than others, and if romance is a compelling need for you, yeah you may have to travel. But you need to consider the whole package. Don't make the mistake of dating someone just because they have similar views about religious beliefs as you. You can let a ringer slip in under the radar that way. Don't give up, and all the best to you partner.

You are absolutely right. Just because they have the same belief as me as a naturalist, atheist etc doesn't mean they are sain. They could be the wrong type of person in many other ways. Thank you for your reply.


Amen! 🙏 Lol, unfortunately. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had the “Do you accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Savior?” after having a lovely conversation otherwise. Especially in these times in the US it’s difficult to find non-religious singles. I hear you!

Same here. The conversation goes so well and they seem so smart. Independent and educated even about science and then they hit you with the question. Sometimes I want to walk backwards and not say a word but I'm not that guy. I'm always polite and I just humor them.


Don't want a religious woman for a partner

bobwjr Level 10 Aug 16, 2019



As I get older, the intellectual part of a relationship becomes more and more important. It's much easier to have simple physical attraction when you are both in your 20s. I also need someone who isn't basing their life on a magic sky god. Even in my northern town that is not that small the pickings seem slim. I think that moving to a progressive city may be the best way to go. Good luck to you.

Yeah I should have moved to Seattle long ago. I lived in California for several years as a full time artist and my life was great. I came to visit Florida after a friend died and got stuck here again. I do love Florida but not this town. I would move but I have my daughter near by and that's more important to me. I do get out of town and go to all the art walk in surrounding cities like Jacksonville, Saint Augustine and Gainesville. If I do meet someone there it's a 1 to 2 hour drive there each time.


Tomorrow is another event. Not a Rock show like last night in Jacksonville but a permaculture gardening and artist crowd in Gainesville. A different interest crowd that I like as well and a lot of those people have a similar music culture interests and as well. Wish me luck. This time I'm getting a number. Building confidence. Events are where it's at. Although I do like this site be sure I won't even have to ask much about their beliefs In religion.


So I went out to Jacksonville last night and met like 20 people. I didn't exchange one number but I did give my business card to most of them. Just looking for friends at the moment in that scene. When you are in a new crowd you just make friends and eventually find out who's single. Very important! Also if a new friend likes you they will introduce you to their friends and you meet someone. Or you can ask them about someone your interested in. Get the trust of their friends first other wise if they don't know you they may fear I trouncing you to so. Wine they know. I encourage everyone to find an event they like and just meet people. Doesn't matter if it's the same sex. I think that's the best way actually. Of your a guy, meet the guys first. They way your learning who is with who first and your not hitting on the ladies in a relationship already. I did .eet someone at the last minute who walked up to me and asked me who I was. We hit it off for a while but mingles back into the crowd and then it was 2:am and I woukdnt get home till 3:am and then got to work at 6:30. I was still an hour late and overslept. Luckily we cover for each other at work and we don't punch in. 😂 I'm almost never late. Anyways I should have walked up to her even though she was talking to another guy and said. Im leaving but can I have your number. Ah! I. Building up my confidence this way by getting out there and meeting people. I will definitely do this next time. It's a regular hangout for regulars so I know she will be there at the next show. I feel comfortable waiting a second time sometimes and being a familiar face and seeing how they react as in if they remembered you and are excited to see you. If not then I accept the fact and let it be. But it's most likely better to get the number and show your confidence. Anyways, good times going out last night. I have not gotten one good response from anyone on any site since I got on them only several months ago and last night I met at least 8 women. 3 couples told me to get the hell out of the town I am in. 😂 I'm taking everyone's advice and moving on from this town. My ex can have this place. I won't be that far away from my daughter and will still see her the same amount of time. Besides she loves Saint Augustine and maybe my ex and her new boyfriend will move that way as well. I just fear being too far if an emergency should occur with my daughter.


I am interested in meeting a single woman who is not religious.

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