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At 57 yrs 10 mos, I am about to do something I have never done before. I am going to be a roommate. My first time living with someone who isn't a spouse, or other close family member.

Having seen nearly every episode of Judge Judy, I know how badly this might turn out. Any advice is welcome. Thanks in advance.

Ms_McSteven 7 Sep 19
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8 comments

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1

Try to find out as much as you can about the other roomie, if you don't already know them well. My sister had roommates and it was a very unpleasant experience for her roommates. She's mentally ill (my sister) and owned a nice 3 bedroom home. Her roommates didn't have any idea what they were getting into. She's unpredictable, delusional, paranoid and ended up filing a law suit against one of them as she felt they broke her driveway. She lost the suit. Just be careful and communicate well, use a contract too.

0

Ive been a roommate and agree with the others that say get it in writing.

All kinds of things were agreed on but whenever they wanted to change the rules, they either pulled the "it's my house" card or denied they ever said it.

0

The ground rules have to be firmly established and mutually agreed upon before moving in together.

0

At this point in my life I think I would rather live in a shed by myself than have a roommate. Not ruling out falling in love (sometimes it does snow in August!) and having to make adjustments. And I have had short term visitors (I think three or four weeks is the limit) and survived, but felt much more comfortable when they left. But that’s just me. Some people need and enjoy closer human contact.
Wishing you all the best if you proceed. As stated in other answers, get it in writing, have an exit plan and a conflict resolution method in place.

0

There are so many factors that could predict a happy co-housing situation.. ..age, gender, sexual orientation, income, profession, scholastic level/status, "visitors" shared spaces, building security, insurance, lease/rental contract enforcement....50/50 rent payments or home ownership?....just who is the fail safe final decision maker.....and what will the cooking smell like ? Who mops or vacuums common floors....and are all of you Atheists????? How are you going to feel if seances, covens, prEyer meetings or a TrumpOLINI victory party takes up all the parking spaces in your neighborhood

@Ms_McSteven you are moving into her house ? If so, you will likely make her happy being the good Atheist that you are....do you have room for all your things ? Best wishes to your shared home....hope you find your mate in your future

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Good luck. Party every day 🙂

3

Get Everything in writing (terms/expectations) and especially get & save receipts!!!!!
Take pix of the property inside & out right before they move in, and keep them in the Cloud, or printed out.
Some things to put in writing:
Can they have a pet (size/type)& where can they walk it?
Smoking? Where?
Quiet hours?
What parts of the house may they use, and when?
Guests Overnite?
Misc. Expenses, Utilities...who pays & when?
Conflict resolution methods? (Wed. Nite sit-down, outside mediator, ???)
Etc.
If it is not in writing, it is an area of potential conflict, period!
Best wishes!

@Ms_McSteven if you do not get everything clearly IN WRITING, let me know which episode of Judge Judy you will be on so i don't miss it! Writing protects Both of you, has nothing to do with whose house it is, just prevents misunderstandings.
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She needs Sheldon's roommate agreement!

0

It is good to be hard of hearing for a while. Also, I hope you have a room of your own. Best of luck!

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