If the residence is under your name, you have every right to get legal action to have him move out. If it's under his name or joint, you may have to move out yourself. How to separate yourself from the guilt and manipulation, that's the most important thing to concentrate on, because you need to make sound decisions and own the responsibility that it's up to you to do what's best for you and your child, regardless of what he says or does.

Update: he has signed a lease and will be leaving within the week. thank you for all of your advice.

"Escaping a toxic relationship" and throwing someome out, seem like two different things.

There is no information to go on to be able to help much. What you can legally do depends upon if you're bound by marriage, whether you own or rent your home and whose names are on the lease/mortgage. If you feel threatened or unsafe, either physically or emotionally, you need to quickly put as much distance as possible between you and him, and sever contact completely.

Do you own or rent ?
If rent, are you both on the lease ?
If own, is it joint ownership ?
Do you own the contents of your home jointly - or his stuff/your stuff ?

Answers to these will help determine what your legal course could be.

Dump his stuff outside ... have the police on standby
or find a new house, new life, get all your stuff together and walk out with your child

Why are you trying to make it as easy as possible? For the sake of your child? Because you still care for him? Because you are at risk of him getting violent or confronting you with conflict were you to be more forceful? Beyond the guilt, I would try to uncover the source of WHY you are acting like his doormat and then create a plan based on that. Such as talking to your child and helping him/her adjust or getting the police involved (in case of violence) or having a mediator present during a confrontation if you are bad at confrontation/conflict-resolution. Good luck!

When dealing with a toxic former lover who won't leave, most cis women I know just throw their stuff on the lawn, change the locks, delete all trace of him from social media, block his number on the phone, and tell people who ask about him, that "things didn't work out," start dating other people, and never mention him again.
Ever.
Except to make contact for purposes of child pick up only. If you lack boundaries, vacillate, let him do what he wants, you will never get rid of him, or any future lovers.
People will treat you the way you allow them to.

No talking to your ex about it, no arguing, no answering the phone when he calls. Just do it. Get a restraining order while you're at it, in case he threatens you.

Its so much harder getting someone to move out that to leave yourself.

I had the same issue with my ex husband. I introduced him to my new girlfriend one day a few months after filing for divorce. He packed his stuff and walked oy the door. Sent me a text saying my girlfriend was an ugly btch and so was I and he would never step foot in the house again And he didn't.

I guess that probably isnt ideal and probably not easy to duplicate anyway...

Sorry you're going through that. It's a tough spot to be in.
I think the only way is to tell him to get out. Stop explaining and being understanding.

Come up with a phrase like "Im sorry for your problems but you need to get out of my house". Say that exact phrase whenever he makes and excuse and walk away. Tell him you are putting his things in storage and do it. Then change the locks.

It depends of how badly you want to get rid of him. Take drastic measures. Put everything in storage, move to a different place and sell the house!! Seriously!

Set a deadline and refuse to discuss anything else. This is very hard. Do you feel safe? Would he get dangerous if you press too hard?

There is very seldom an easy way. It's like trying to stop smoking. You just have to do it cold turkey.

Here called peace order, he leaves period, get help there are groups that help with that including guys who will guard house

Refuse to listen to his manipulation. If you can't muster the strength to throw him out, see a counselor.

Put all of his clothes and belongings outside, and get the locks changed before he gets home. Schedule the locksmith when you know he will be gone.

Then spend a week at a friend's house. Don't tell him where you are going. Don't answer his calls, texts or emails.