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I was just reminded of a story I have to tell...
So this beautiful girl I know was dating a guy and he would always make indirect comments referring to her weight. So one day she asked him directly, “Do you have a problem with my weight?” He said, “ yes, actually I do. I think you could stand to lose a few pounds.” So she then asked him, “How much do you weigh?” He replied , “175 lbs”.
And, being the awesome confident woman she is, she told him...”You know what? I am gonna lose some weight. I’m gonna lose 175 lbs.” as he looked terribly confused and tilted his head to the side like a dog not understanding what he is hearing or seeing...he said “wha....what do you mean?” She then again replied confidently “I JUST LOST A 175lbs BECAUSE I JUST GOT RID OF YOU!”

Heidi68 8 Oct 16
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5 comments

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1

He can go buy a life size doll that meets his specifications

2

This was funny. I don't know if it's true, but some are taking it waaay too seriously!! Oy vey.

Yeah, it is a joke but I figured some women may need to hear it is ok to just own their happiness so I put it here. Guess I should have prefaced it with smiley faces or This Is A Joke 😀

@Heidi68 You seemed to have offended done male egos....😝

I think anything can be analyzed, even jokes/comedy.... knowing that this was a joke I still analyzed it for the guy that was offended by it. 😉

@Heidi68 I made a joke today, even wrote "that's the joke" right afterwards and a guy got butthurt that I was making generalizations about men and shame on me for calling myself a feminist and I am the reason stubborn MRAs exist.... fckng hell XD So even if you explained, someone would get butthurt

@Heidi68 Some people won't get it if it was prefaced by a flashing neon sign saying, "This is a joke!"

@AzVixen52, @demifeministgal, @GeorgeRocheleau y'all are so right... it is truly sad.

2

Kudos to the girl. Ending my relationship because someone doesn't accept me for who I am. I am not a neat freak! I went from a 5 bedroom house to a tiny 2 bedroom cottage. Moving out and getting my own 820 square foot apt which will hold my stuff very nicely thank you very much.

1

One of the things you never comment on is that to a woman, dumbass

bobwjr Level 10 Oct 16, 2019
2

I will hand fair justice only if I know both sides of the story. I am very fair.

  1. We do not know his side yet
  2. We do not know if he was caring and trying to give a helpful feedback
  3. It is possible that he loved her and wanted her to be healthy, also look better
  4. His weight of 175 lbs is not heavy if 5.8 and above and therefore it has nothing to do with the comment
  5. There is no need to be suddenly defensive. She could have had a good discussion with him and if she was convinced that he was mean and nasty, then I would agree with she dissing and dumping him
  6. But since she decided to date him and continue dating, I am guessing she did not find him to be mean

She making a wise crack about his weight does not justify she becoming defensive. Secondly, when we only know one side of the story, we cannot know who is right.

I for one would love to get a feedback, even critical about my body shape, weight, hair, behavior or anything that can help me be a better person. Just that it be productive and in a good taste and not mean and sarcastic. I would still take into consideration. The problem is that since my mother died nobody tells me any more. I lost an honest counsel. It takes guts to give a feedback to someone you are dating and knowing that a comment about weight would no go well or be misunderstood.

If the man was not nasty and mean, I want to buy him a beer.

“and he would always make indirect comments referring to her weight.” Indicates he was making remarks. Given her reaction, I would guess they were snarky. But then, this is simply a story (not a dissertation on proper health advice) meant to be funny. I laughed!

@Barnie2years
I did not think it was funny. It is not clear from the post.

I often see women being dismissive and denigrating of men here. The rule in the world is good attracts good. Mean, dismissive, denigration will attract the same in dating.

wait, if he is doing it out of a place of caring, rather than sexual attraction, then he would not care IF she genuinely only could lose a few pounds. Also why phrase it as a problem? His communication style is crap if he ACTUALLY Genuinely cared about her weight from a health perspective... and even then, he is not a doctor. There are many overweight people that are healthy and in better shape than even slim people. His criticism seems purely shallow and not actually caring.

@demifeministgal
We cannot give verdicts. We do not know his side. You are also making quick and a lot of assumptions.

@St-Sinner I am going based of what he said and he phrased things terribly... that much I know. If you care about someone and their feelings, as one should when dating someone, you can convey your concerns or worries in a tactful and respectful manner. And that phrase "you could stand to lose a few pounds" has it been rooted in having access to health records? 😕 Or is it purely based on appearances?

@demifeministgal
That is wrong. It is a one-sided story. A story reported by a woman criticizing a man must be taken with a grain of salt. Often these stories come out of dates gone sour. It can be unfair to the men.

And yes, in dating and relationships, you can make comments. There is intimacy and bodies are in play. I said that the comments must not be nasty. What the man said was not nasty or mean. To accuse him of being it is unfair.

I don't understand what pleasure women get out of reporting dating stories on a public forum and criticizing men who are not here to tell their sides? How often do you see men doing it?

@St-Sinner Is that the only type of story that needs to be taken with a grain of salt? Or does it work in reverse too? "A story reported by a woman criticizing a man must be taken with a grain of salt"

I suppose just the opportunity to vent and share... although this is not a story... it is odd the OP would phrase it as such... it is a widely shared JOKE.

I see it happen with men often on other social media or dating sites... to an obsessive extent of an entire profile being dedicated to criticizing women EN MASSE, and not just limited to the ONE woman in question, and having no personal details... like literally an online dating profile dedicated to lecturing and advising women how to act and date around men, but no details of themselves... unless the lecture is meant to act as an indirect sort of detail? Idk

@demifeministgal
Disparaging a man in dating or dating gone sour behind his back is not a joke to me.

wrong..... you would never make a comment like that in front of others if you really cared.

@hankster
Who were the others here? As I read it, this was a discussion only between the man and woman. Are you inferring to "indirect" comments?

@St-Sinner perhaps im mistaken. apologies. sounded to me like the writer witnessed the occassion.

@demifeministgal This is a joke - it was copied & shared. @St-Sinner I put it in this group because it fits - 'if' some woman needs to hear it. There are many men who constantly put women down if we are not the perfect 36-24-36. As the joke stated 'he would always make indirect comments referring to her weight' - if as you said he was concerned then he should have just said in private 'I am concerned with ......'. It did not need to be indirect comments - as you said you would prefer 'someone's honest assessment' - I agree but I don't want someone constantly nagging or making snide remarks just be straight up.
Once again- this was a joke. I apologize if you misunderstood. Maybe I should have put it in just for laughs.

@Heidi68
OK thanks. But your view of men is foreign to me. There are great men out there. All of my friends, each of them talks about their wives and family adoringly. Not once I have heard any man disparage their women.

@St-Sinner my ex is a great guy but there are men out there who behave quite poorly. I never said ALL men.

@Heidi68
There is a good side of a town and a bad side, there are good men and some bad and there are good women and some bad ones. I have managed to avoid the bad by not entering the world where the bad sides are more probable.

I choose good company, choose safe neighborhoods, choose good jobs, don't to go bars and if I think I must put myself in a better section of the society, I increase my training and skills to increase my pay grade to afford it. What I don't is expect what I don't deserve but whine.

I believe we all can do that to a large extent.

@St-Sinner what part of "this is a joke" did you not understand? What part of "some woman may need to hear this" did you not understand? I NEVER said me (or for that matter, anyone I know) has been in this situation but I have enough compassion to understand someone may be in this situation, out of no fault of her own, and she may need to know it is ok to walk away.

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