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This is Delma rose, planted in memory of Delma by my neighbour, her husband of 60 years, when she died two years ago.
Bob is inconsolable and would kill himself today to go to heaven to meet Dell, except that suicide is a mortal sin and he would go to hell and be without her for eternity.
I’ve played along with Bobs beliefs and suggested that God must have a purpose for him and that’s why he left him here and that he should stop being miserable and be active so that God will let him go. How do you tell an 86 year old devout Anglican that his beliefs are rubbish and destroy the foundation of his life if he believes me? So sad. Such a pretty flower. Well tended and loved in memory of “Dellie”

Grahame 6 Dec 1
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17 comments

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1

Can I have you around to be my best friend when I'm blue? You're true gold for Bob--caring, empathetic, and kind. Nice to know the world has you in it, Grahame.

1

Sixty years is a long time to be married to someone. No wonder he is inconsolable. You are being a good friend by placing your humanity before your beliefs.

Lovely plant and sentiment.

2

You don't. Just continue to be kind to him. My mother is 90. She can talk all about God as much as she wants to, she can't remember that I told her I'm an atheist years ago. No sense in reminding her. The roses are beautiful.

1

You tell him nothing that may shatter his delusions ... that belief is all that is holding his life together.

4

I think you are wise to support your friend the way he needs.

4

Very nice of you. That is a beautiful plant, you have talent. Best wishes for your friend, as he appears to be suffering: you are showing a lot of kindness and concern.

2

Watch a bit of Anthony Magrabosco on u tube, he will teach you how to go about it without offending anyone but making them think.

2

I would continue encouraging the line of thought that God left him here for a reason. Also continue being the good friend that it sounds like you are. The roses are very pretty too!

3

I don't, I live by ethics tempered by empathy. My political and social issues with religion and my stance against it do not relate to the conditions such a person lives under.
Empathy Tempers my Ethics so I would do as you have, show compassion and remain silent.

2

You're doing fine. I have nothing to add

twill Level 7 Dec 2, 2019
3

You don’t. Every respect for you for encouraging him.🤓

1

I think you are a very kind human being by speaking his language.....you are Amazing.Hats off to you.✌️😊🌼

0

That's the problem of "playing along" with certain beliefs, people assume things, no need to destroy or demean an old believer, you should have kept god and religion out of your recommendations and suggestions. There are many non religious ways to console people.

@Grahame he is also a human and you can speak his human language without gods or religion or any other bullshit.

@Grahame my comments are my contributions, you can take them or leave them as you have apparently done. BTW, since you are not a moderator for the site I will comment as many times I want to according to the site's guidelines and rules.

5

Help him find purpose in life now. And if it comforts him, he can believe he will see her again when he dies. Nothing to be gained by trying to change his mind. You are a good friend.

6

I have no tolerance for religious nonsense. But even I wouldn't try with an 86 year old.
just keep being his friend. It's all you can do really.
The rose is beautiful.

2

One thing I've learned over time. If a person does not ask they will not listen or hear. They may be courteous and let you complete your thought ( that is if your lucky and not hit with immediate defensiveness). But none of what you say will be heard or considered. Your words will go in one ear and out the other.

However, if you are asked your opinion then your chances of being actually heard is improved. They will listen you, may even seriously consider your remarks. May even follow them. Regardless, even if they do not follow, at least they considered( if only for a monent).

7

perhaps he's still here so he can keep loving her to the world.

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