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How long will you repeat behaivor before you change it?

nightowl 6 Mar 26

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Behaivor does not happen in a vacume so context is critical. Certain behavior is expected - such as the formality that goes with appearing in Court. Other behaviour may be beneficial, netural, or distructive - yet people may still engage in the same (or not) not withstanding these facts - like smoking or getting sufficient sleep. If you are referencing behavour that has a particular goal in mind then again context still is critical. One needs to be mindful of the old axiom regarding repeating the same activity yet expecting a different outcome but sometimes that sort of action is what is required [though no examples come to mind at the moment] - There is not a ready pat answer to this inquiry & my response would have to be that it depends on the situation at hand & exactly what it is that I am seeking to achieve [or prevent.]

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I think it depends on the behavior. If you have maladaptive coping mechanisms you may continue indeffinitely.

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If a behavior produces benign results, then it will probably continue. If the results are constructive or at least rewarding, probably it will also continue. If there are negative results, it will be looked at immediately and stopped.

again, another type of person who is touch with their process...i worry about the scores of folks that are not, and are out there and trying to date me. or you...no wonder people have such a hard time...

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As long as you tell me to.

fast learner

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I'm an atheist who smokes. Cognitive dissonance at its best. (Okay, I'm trying to quit.)

2

Too long, unfortunately.

1

Half a year ago I learned that saying, "anyways" is incorrect. I now say, "anyway." It took a little time to adjust because all my life I used to say "anyways."

@Sarahroo29 -- It's not "...use to say...", it's "...used to say...". Once an editor, always an editor. This is a case of saying something the way you hear it. Another example is, "...well, I would of...". The correct form is, "...well, I would've..." which comes from "...well, I would have...". We hear it as "would of", so we tend to write it that way, but it's wrong.

@evidentialist Yes, I made a typo. Sorry I'm not perfect.

@Sarahroo29 -- Not a criticism, kiddo. Just an old man trying to be helpful. And I know it wasn't a typo, because you have done it in all cases where you have used it. That too is not a criticism, just letting you know.

@Sarahroo29 -- and none of us are perfect, but it is worth making the effort.

1

Depends what it is. I fully intend to keep on eating, drinking and breathing for as long as I am able.
And being a smartarse.
As for relationships, I'm Captain Oblivious. So until my VSS-O smacks me and tells me to stop it.

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Too vague a statement to respond to.

0

It all depends on who is holding the shotgun!

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Depends on the behaviour

yeah, i realize it's almost half a question..sorry..but, it is under the 'love and friendship' category= throw me a bone! lol...btw, did i spell 'behaivor' incorrectly or are you english?

im English and dyslexic so I didn't notice @nightowl lol. my bad you're right sorry. no trust and respect = no future

@LeighShelton no, dude- i'm not even serious- my dad grew up in liverpool and frankfurt, so i've grown up with plenty of idioms and different spellings..i mean any american can travel or read about such things, but growing up with it enures me to it when i see it...you are another funny mofo on here..thank goodness for that..i find it very pc and vanilla..ironic.

you got to have some fun but thank you

3

For me, it's a process. I have to notice it first, then decide I'm not happy with it, then think of alternatives to it, and then I have to actually remember to try them in real time before I can figure it what works better.

Sometimes, all of this happens in an instant. In other cases, it takes decades.

your name is too apt! well said..and the last line- on the nose.

@nightowl Thank you, on both counts.

4

It's entirely possible that I repeat unhealthy behavior without realizing there's a pattern.

plausible and most likely, speaking for myself- and i'm looking like a mofo!!!!!

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Behavior is usually repeated until you find the underlying reason for it...the pay off of some kind! Then you need to replace it with something you 'know' to be more useful! It may have been useful to you, once-upon-a-time!

indeed, nonetheless, finding the underlying reason suggests a person who has perhaps an inate proclivity for self-reflection and is actually searching for defects (for want)...certainly the minority of folks i've come across....(sound like a dick, just then)

@nightowl yes...another truth, maybe they are operating beyond our comprehesion? Lol

@Freedompath HA, there are days i have to work hard to think that way. you got lots of grace, freedompath. friend of bills, i presume?

@nightowl not really...am learning a little late in life...that I need all my energy, even that which I once used to control others or anything that my mind got hooked on...I now need all that energy to keep my own life going! Lol

1

Usually the same behavior is the same results, weather thay are good or bad results depends on the environments or situations.

you think so? idk...

so, ernest1, you how do you get out of a rut?

@nightowl hard work trying different methods if the old ones aren't working, staying away from negative mind frames. Working towards goals instead of praying towards them.

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Years. 😟

sure seems like. lol

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Set boundaries 8 years ago that I have kept.

that's herculean! sounds like it must have been super shitty, i'm sorry and congrats.

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That depends what the results are....

le bingo

2

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
If it's broke, fix that shit.

ah, idealism....still, clever-sounding!

@nightowl I don't see it as idealism. I'm too pragmatic to be idealistic.

@KKGator lol

4

I'll stop at least one time after when I should have, lol.

Mea Level 7 Mar 27, 2018

ha! i hear you...under the auspices of love and relationships, and being 46 and still single- obviously i suck at keeping the honeymoon stage lasting forever..lol..i am highly analytical and a people pleaser ( a work in progress, though) so i just have to understand my part and aim to avoid the same choices/fuckups...so, it makes me wonder, that despite all of the intention and honesty- i'm still so naive and painfully unfulfilled. you?

@nightowl I think a lot of what you described is just part of the human condition. We're all struggling with something and doing our bests to make improvements in our lives. There's always going to be bad, but hopefully there's some good in there too. If you ever want someone to talk with/vent to feel free to message me! 🙂

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