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Warning!

Though it's possible to date someone who believes in God, it is not possible to date a fundamentalist. I gave it my very best shot. Our personalities and characters meshed beautifully. Our time together was simply joyous in every way.

But . . . The NO sex until marriage rule was becoming unbearable.

And . . . When an outside conflict arose our approaches were too different. I was reminded how stymied fundamentalists are as they turn to prayer and biblical study first. Every time. And they avoid common sense.

ElusiveMoby 7 Jan 10
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34 comments (26 - 34)

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1

While I believe it is possible for a fundamentalist believer and a non-believer to have a happy life-long relationship together, I have to grant you that the concessions one or both persons has to make in order to maintain harmony are substantial. Given that we are only partially rational animals with feelings and emotions that tie in with our belief structures, it's hard to imagine those passions not getting in the way from time to time, resulting in some level of frustration or misery.

Like I said, I believe it's possible. I just have to wonder why two people would voluntarily subject themselves to such a struggle, especially when there are enough difficulties already in a relationship where religious differences are not a factor.

Instant attraction. (Unfortunately in this case)

@ElusiveMoby Which apparently wasn't enough to get you too far down the road. A shame. That a man would deny himself the ready opportunity for a shag really boggles the mind.

1

Even fundamentalist can change unless they are mentally ill. Try to do what Anthony Magnabosco does. He is on Utube.

1

I agree 100%. I lived with a believer for nine years. It was the best relationship I ever had. We never had a problem with my non-belief and her belief. She did not go to church. I believe there are more people like her and their numbers are growing.

Unlike you, I was pulling him away from his "first love."

1

I have an acquaintance/friend who is fundamentalist to the extent that he is an absolute literalist when it comes to the bible. He believes that the Earth is 7000 (or so) years old, and that dinosaur bones are not fossils, but rather they were put there by god for unknowable reasons. His children were home-schooled because he felt it was his duty to inculcate those righteous beliefs in them. He's a nice enough fellow otherwise, and I can spend time with he and his wife and talk about the weather. But an convinced atheist could not live with him, I am sure. In fact, I would say that were he unmarried, he would not strike up a relationship with any woman who did not attend church on a regular basis. It's a wonder to me how you and you're fundamentalist ever began a relationship. Did you meet in a bar? lol

0

A fundamentalist is code for a rigid, extreme, rule lover who avoids deep thought. If this ticks all your boxes on your perfect match profile, then you will be Ok, but love can also be blind and opposites can attract with not so great results.

I would have written those same words before I met him.

@ElusiveMoby If you are saying that he wasn't like that at all, then he was probably more of an evangelical than a fundamentalist.

0

It’s not possible for you. I could maybe.

It's actually not about you. It's about the other person.

0

Yeah even the Unitarians here waste their time "praying for peace".

Conflict and problem resolution (or mere avoidance) is definitely different per person and group. I had the POTUS channel on in the car today (Sirius Radio) and Smerconish has this little ditty he plays that has the lyrics, "Jokers to the right of me, jokers to the left of me, stuck here in the middle with you" that is an example of how self-style centrists try to float above the fray and claim everyone with a view that's not some pragmatic compromise as being "jokers" as opposed to sophisticated pragmatists. So it happens outside the religious realm, too.

I have said before that being involved with a fundamentalist is unlikely to work, but I was married to one and it DID work quite well, but I also recognize that I totally lucked out there. I'll never know if it worked out for the reasons I thought it did (our relationship wasn't centered around church, but around each other) or because she was too busy dying to pick that particular battle. (I deconverted after we were married BTW, which she could have seen as "bait and switch", but didn't). But if I were "in the market" now, I certainly wouldn't risk it.

0

Absolutely impossible unless you are that backwards too

bobwjr Level 10 Jan 10, 2020

I compromised my intellect, my friend. That was a mistake.

@ElusiveMoby learn honey you are worth it

0

It is very hard to do. I was a Fundamentalist and never had an actual girlfriend until I cast away the chaffe (religion).

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