I have something on my mind for a few days, and since I really have no one to talk to about it, I thought I would throw it out here just to clear my mind.
On The Late Show with Stephan Colbert Tuesday night Antonio Banderas was the primary guest. Nice guy and was more interesting than I expected. Part way through the interview, Stephan asked him about a heart attack he had I guess the previous year or so. Stephan, a very devout Catholic was asking him personal questions about how it changed his life etc. The typical stuff people seem to ask anyone with a near death experience. Antonio of course gave what seems to be the standard answer, he found new meaning to life, embrace every day, new awakening etc.
It got me to thinking about my own experience two years ago when I had a V-fib while driving home and was technically dead for about ten seconds until I slammed into a parked truck and the jolt or something got my heart back into rhythm. That ten seconds was exactly what I expect death to be: nothing, fade to black, sleep with no dreams. When I came to, I had no idea where I was or how I got there for a few seconds, then after I got out of the car I proceeded to pick up the larger pieces and put them in the back of the car (I hate leaving messes 
. In the two years since, I have experienced none of the feeling Antonio talked about. I go about my life in the exact same way I did before, if anything, I fear death even less than I had, and it was never really at the top of my fears to start with. I have no need to seek adventure, fame or fortune. And no more luck at finding even a date let alone a companion to live out my days with.
I was just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience or one closer to Banderas' change of life. Am I an outlier as always, or is my reaction more normal than it seems? It won't change either way, just curious.
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9 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.That’s interesting. I’ve never had a near-death experience. I guess the closest thing I can compare it to is leaving a cult and realizing I wasted a huge chunk of my life (and that there’s no afterlife to look forward to). Many people in my situation say that experience has motivated them to live life to fullest in the time they have left (and other similar comments, the same kind of stuff people say after a near-death experience). I haven’t felt any of that. Cognitively I see the logic in it...I think I SHOULD be living my life to the fullest. I just don’t really see the point. Perhaps it’s just depression.
kdmom
Level 6
Aug 30, 2020
0
Well actually now that I think of it...the one way that experience has changed me is it has intensified my thirst for knowledge. I always had it to a degree (I’d say more than the average person), but now I feel like I’m running out of time to learn everything I ever wanted to learn. I don’t even have a plan or reason for wanting knowledge...I just want it.
I've lost people I care about very very much. I spent 5 days in the hospital in Hungary last year. I didn't have a near death experience but I was so sick I didn't care whether I kept living for a while there.
I don't think any of that changed me at all. I'm always tried to live my life to the fullest.
Lorajay
Level 9
Apr 29, 2020
2
Glad you hung around! I am quite content in my life. My bucket list is very small and certainly not a priority. If through some miracle I would get a romantic partner, I would love to take a river cruise, either on the Rhine or the Danube. I don’t foresee that happening anytime soon.
I think surviving a life threatening situation might make me appreciate the time I have left. But I already practice gratefulness so I like to think I am aware of my limited time on earth and how much I still need to do. I know when my husband died, I realised how precious and precarious life can be.
MsDemeanour
Level 8
Feb 1, 2020
0
The loss of others often spurs people to make more of their own life. I must say, I never really had that reaction either. I don’t spend a lot of time psychoanalyzing myself (I’ve grown content with who I am over the decades
) but growing up we move every couple of years and I kind of feel I got used to the idea of friends coming and going in my life. Even family! My grandparents on Dad’s side both died while we were away as did my Mom’s father. We did not come back for the funerals. I tend to take a very realistic view of death. It is the one great equalizer, no one escapes. If you get to spend a fair number of years on this earth and lived well, you should be thankful and not fear the end. I felt bad for my 15 month old son who died of Leukemia, he never got to experience much of life, but by the same token he never had to experience all the bullshit life throws at you.
I have had an interesting life, overall not bad. If I check out tomorrow, I have no complaints.
'near death' is not death. You're heart can stop beating for a time but your brain is still functioning which is why people still sometimes 'see' things And no atheist has had this 'near death' expeience and seen St Peter at the gate.
MsDemeanour
Level 8
Feb 1, 2020
1
I aways figured that was why people had the bright light, seeing dead relatives experience. That had preprogrammed themselves for that experience, so that is were their brain went after the heart stopped or slowed down.
The only difference I've noticed is that I now am bothered by the sight of blood which never affected me before.
PhoebeCat
Level 7
Jan 31, 2020
0
Did your experience involve a loss of blood, like an accident?
I have died twice, once by strangulation, once during a chiropractor-induced stroke. None of the woo-woo stuff either time!
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Jan 31, 2020
1
Had one myself, but it is hard to change especially when you are already well aware of your mortality. It may be a wake up call for some people, but if you are already well awake, you can not wake up twice.
The death of my wife did however have a deep effect on me, because it did make me understand that while it may be easy to contemplate your own death, it is a lot harder to accept that before you get to that, you will probably have to face loosing nearly everyone else. I do therefore now, try to give the most I can to everyone and to extract the absolute most I can from them, while I still have them.
Fernapple
Level 9
Jan 31, 2020
2
Had a heart attack and found myself in the operating room within 24 hours.
Was in a coma for four days. Nice rest! Didn't see shit.......
That was the second time I almost bit the nail.
PondartIncbendog
Level 8
Jan 31, 2020
3
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