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When I signed up here I was still hoping to find someone to start a relationship. Life goes round and round and I arrived to a stage that I'm happy and "resigned" to be on my own. I got too used to be alone and do things my own way that I now "run away" from any relationship. Life has become quite easy to deal with like this. Does anyone relate to this state of mind?

Paddypereira 7 Mar 9

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Yes. All of us in the Introverts Group.


Absolutely. I am happy alone.

Deb57 Level 8 Mar 14, 2020

My true friends rather see me alone than with bad company. I think you're on the same page as I am on this.

@Paddypereira Yes, you nailed it. Have had more than my fair share of bad company.


After 2nd divorce 5-6 years, I "dove" into dating, mostly online, so it was so/so..... SO I went back to doing what I HAD to do....take care of kids, business, home, property, and therefore my sanity. I've had a few short term relationships. I've fallen in love twice....rejected both times, But HEY!, I had more than one fall for me.

Best advice I can give guys: SMILE!

twill Level 7 Mar 12, 2020

At 66, I don't want to get married again. Older men are too much work. Man-childs want a mommy to do all of the meal planning, cooking, dishes, laundry, housework and great sex. No way.

A man I met five years ago and I have fabulous sex about once a month. Our chemistry and connection are exquisite. Afterward, he takes me out for a meal. Perfect.

I find the wonder and joy in life. Hiking, talking and laughing with friends, exercise, volunteering as a college mentor, book club, cooking, reading: Life is fun!

I love hiking to alpine lakes surrounded by jagged mountain peaks. We all need more low-level ecstasy in our lives.

I wish I could find that kind of connection. I'm so jealous.


Yes, it's rare to have great chemistry and sexual connection.

@LiterateHiker and an ongoing thing with someone who doesn't need to own you.



We've had a slow burn for each other for five years. He loves my little body.

@LiterateHiker that's great! I'm still looking for a woman who doesn't pat me on the back when I embrace her.

Quite the opposite here. I think women are looking for helpless guys that they can "Momma"

@twill good lord, no! I have shown my last man-baby the door.

@Deb57 Upon further reflection, I think that my idea of myself and the reality of having to live with me rarely, if ever, line up


Thank you all for replying and sharing your thoughts and experiences. That was the main purpose of this. 😉


Me too just wait and see

bobwjr Level 10 Mar 10, 2020

Best way to see things.


Is this the atheist me too page😍?
I came here both for community and the possibility of finding a non theist guy who could hold a decent conversation.

I soon found that here like everywhere else the guys that were interested in me were older than I was interested in, into open relationships or 1500 miles away so I'm staying for community.

Great stuff!!! After being in a long distance relationship, I really don't want to get like this again. Whatever happens, happens.


About 20 years ago, when I was about your age, I was becoming comfortable with my solitude. I was settling into the life with no company and no intimacy.

Then, I met a woman who I felt was acceptable and got married (my only). Well, that dysfunctional marriage wore me out, made me question who I was, and convinced me that I had nothing to look forward to.

Now that I'm single again I find myself unwilling to accept total isolation, while simultaneously unable to establish any level of intimacy. I don't have any potential relationships to run away from.

So in some ways my experience is like yours, and in some ways different. At 47 you're still young. If you like being alone, enjoy it. It's the only kind of "relationship" you can be completely in control of. (I hate it)

We all pass through different stages in our lives. Although I feel great with my current situation, I don't know what life will bring in the future.


Wow… you’ve described my situation pretty well.. I’d never planned or expected such a revelation, but here it came. Seems to have arrived with the purchase of a motorcycle … no one to scold or worry about me - total crazy freedom!

It’s still new, though … not quite a year. I can still be sparked, but when weighing the costs, it’s been a fairly clear thanks ~

Varn Level 8 Mar 9, 2020

In my case, my biggest freedom limiter is my wages!!! Lol!!! Besides that, I feel great with my current situation.

@Paddypereira I’ve noticed a number of folks pair up due to finances.. At least they’d have something in common 🙂

@Varn, very true. Unfortunately, that's a mistake people make. Ok, money rules most of our lives but it's not everything. Well, that's my opinion. It might work for them, though.

@Paddypereira Their bonds are strange to observe.. ..not quite love, but a mutual respect and tolerance. Spoiled, foolish, or stubborn ... fortunately, I can afford to hold out for love ..or nothing ~

@Varn, I don't know about you but I got too used to be alone. Those people most likely got used to their situation and don't really want to change it. In my case, probably I became an awful arsehole after being nice to people and get kicked up the arse in return and I ended up in the situation I am now, which is fine. Everyone ends up laying on the bed they made (me included).

@Paddypereira My longtime, now former wife needed a mate, or caregiver, so instantly began the hunt. As I’d been left to finish raising our daughters, my priorities were different.. Was just thinking, she’s now been married almost ten years(!) … where I, after an extended go-round with a borderline (BPD).. have gotten more accustomed to aloneness than ..withness 😕

That haunted me ..until, as mentioned above, it prettymuch stopped.. Though I blame it on a motorcycle, it’s more likely something inside me. I’ve this ‘been-there-done-that’ feeling with regard to relationships. And, they seem such a gamble.. One cost me a century farm … the other, my sanity! Maybe I’m also getting lazy.. Forever putting the damn toilet seat down was getting old 😉

...and, I’m too easy - (but don’t tell) A sucker of a caregiver, I’ve got to try extra hard not to ..fall in love. And after nearly 30 years of faithful marriage, I’d become expert at ‘ignoring wonderful women,’ now that feels automatic! F’d up is that? Married too young, even ‘dating’ feels weird. [slowly shaking head sideways here] … I’m bad with TMI, too 😀

@Varn, I miss having a motorbike. I used to have but had to sell to move to Ireland. Nowadays, I don't know the exact reason for being alone and I don't give a flying fuck. I learned to do my best with what I have and that's it. I try not to complain. Especially because nobody listens anyway!!! 😆😅😂😄🤣

@Varn With me it was leaving the cupboard doors open that pissed her off to no end (here's the solution Becky....just close the motherfuckers yourself)


FWB is Excellent!

I think that's what I should be aiming for, but I can't find a way to bridge the gap from friend to benefit. I always get stuck in the friend zone.


Me too. Two years ago I became widowed, and in a panic, I started looking for a new soul mate. Met a lady on Had a lunch date. She was toooo full of herself for my taste, so it went nowhere. I soon started enjoying my new freedom. I now have a large pool of good friends, and no commitments. It's a great life. I'm 90 years old and loving it.

Well, I'm a bit over half your age. If I reach your age I hope to still be able to do many things I do now. I know a gentleman here in Ireland that reached 100 this year and still dances tango. He participated in the Tango World Championships and he made the news for it.


Yep, pretty much. I don't run away, but I don't invest any energy in pursuing one. Life is good.

skado Level 9 Mar 9, 2020

Sometimes, it's not worth it. 😉

I'm with you. I do wonder though whether being single is causing me to become selfish.

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