Thousands of years ago, there was a king whose people were very loyal and true to. But, one day as the king was walking the streets with his newly fashioned crown on someone yelled out, "Nice hat dude." The king felt slighted and conferred with his slightly smarter brother. He said, "Dude, I think my people don't like me anymore. What should I do?" The brother thought and said, "Lets get all our cousins together, give them weapons and have them enforce laws that forbid such comments." The king did so and no one made such comments at him as he walked the streets surrounded by his armed cousins. But one day, the king noticed people looked at him differently and whispered among themselves. The king asked his brother, "Dude I got all these cops and all these laws but, I think these people have bad thoughts about me, what should I do to stop them from thinking such a way." The brother thought deeply, slapped his knee and said, "Dude! I got a great idea. Every Sunday, we crowd the people into a building and we have some of our cousins dress in some real cool clothes, we will call them priests." The king looked confused, "What will these priests tell them?" The brother smiled bigger than a modern Houston Minister and said, "They tell them over and over, they are going to live better than the king when they die and the king will suffer greatly when he dies." The king was pissed then, "You trying to get me overthrown Dude?" The brother replied, "Dude, after a few months they will start believing the shit and then the priests can tell them to have loving thoughts toward the king no matter what you do." The king smiled, "Duuudde, its perfect, I get to do what I want and all my rich friends get to do what they want but, the people have to kiss our asses because they believe in this invisible king that is on their side."

Thus began religion.