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I was raised as a Christian and only recently became an atheist. It's been just a few months. I agonized over telling my husband. He was initially in denial but, ultimately, there was no major fallout.

Now I am concerned about how to approach the fact that I no longer believe with my older of two sons. I am teaching him, our six year old, about other religions. Our other boy is only one year old. I am not sure when to openly let him know I no longer believe and how to best approach it without saying that it's stupid since Daddy still believes and likely always will. Anyone else here lose their faith after already indoctrinating their child(ren)?

Colibri 5 Apr 10
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27 comments

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7

Kids that age are like a sponge. You don't have to tell him anything. He'll pick up by your actions that you aren't practicing your old religion. When he hears your secular language with no blessings, no "thank you Jesus", no prayers etc, and sees you not going to church, he'll figure it out on his own. Meanwhile you can still teach him about ancient myths and religions. The more they learn about all the different ones, the less likely they'll be duped into believing one is the true one.

7

How about something simple since he’s so young? Find something you and your husband disagree about ... something simple, maybe even something cute or funny. Then say in the same way, you have different beliefs about god. He believes and you do not, and everyone has to decide for themselves what they believe.

And leave it at that ... don’t make it a big deal. You can gradually say more over the years when the topic naturally comes up, such as things you see in the movies or the news.

That's an interesting idea. I don't think my husband would go for it though. He would not want to diminish the importance of it by making it seem trivial.

5

By the time I became an atheist, my children were grown. It is a big regret of mine that I didn't come to certain realizations sooner.

If I could go back in time, I would have let them know, from an early age, that not everyone believes there is a god, that one does not have to believe in a god to be a good person, and people who believe in a god believe many different things about it. I would encourage science and reason and build critical thinking skills as much as possible. This can be done without being offensive to a believer.

Given there was no major fallout, it seems that your husband is not a fundamentalist. It will sure make it easier if he is a passive believer, rather than a dogmatic one.

My husband is definitely not a fundamentalist, but he's not progressive either. He is a strange one. He has not objected to anything I've told our son so far, but the focus has been other religions. We shall see how well he tolerates me sharing my views once I start diving into Christianity under my current way of thinking.

@Colibri I don't know if you have read these, but I found these books very helpful: '101 Myths of the Bible' by Gary Greenberg. Its focus is on the OT, but it shows how the stories of the bible were influenced by prevalent myths of the time; and 'Who Wrote the Bible' by Richard E. Friedman. Again, the focus is on the OT, but the OT sets the foundation for Christianity (at least in the Christian mind). For the NT I recommend almost anything by Bart D. Ehrman.

@Joanne Thanks!!

5

My eldest went to xtion church. I was a long time non xtion believer, yet got roped into teaching adult Sunday school - I taught ethics. It was my ex-bro-in-law church. Finally my ex caught up with me and we left. Did the Unitarians for years and still find them a pretty good place (each group is slightly different but all seem tolerant of all thought). My kids are all grown and none consider themselves xtions, etc. Two still identify as lapsed Unitarians while one, since very early childhood, rejected all god.
Anyway, best wishes on your journey.

I had been a volunteer in the Children's Ministry and am glad to be gone.

5

My experience was not analogous, but maybe it will give you some ideas anyway.

I had been atheist for a few years before I had kids. But then I adopted an 11-year old from a religious family (I know! It was an unusual situation! And I was quite frank about my non-belief, too!)

Having been raised Christian, she would sometimes express an interest in continuing. I said that would be fine - she could go with a friend's family, or someone from her bio family. As it happened, she lost interest after a few times.

I didn't make a big deal of it, her birth family didn't make a big deal of it, and so, neither did she. Again, I know this isn't the same thing, but I hope it helps.

Thanks for sharing. I initially thought I had no problem with him staying Christian. Then I felt I absolutely did not want him to believe in a god. And then I realized that what I want is for him to have his own inner peace, but I don't think that's possible if he is told Mommy is going to hell. So I suppose I hope to at least convince him that hell doesn't exist and let him know that he's free to believe in God as much as I am free to not believe.

4

An excellent book for children (and adults) to read is called "The Long Grass Whispers" by Geraldine Elliot.
The tales open one's mind to alternative beliefs.
Here's typical review:-
These are the stories of my childhood when i was living in Tanganyika. They are priceless and as bedtime stories for children, they cannot be matched. Each one has a moral, and your kids will not forget them. I loved the illustrations too. I am sorry it has not been reprinted.
You could probably find a used copy on Abe books.

@Allamanda My wife and I both grew up in East Africa and both of us loved them. So did our children, and now our grandchildren.
On addition to being tales of morality, they also inform readers as to other beliefs.

@Petter Thanks for the recommendation. Sounds worthwhile. I'll check it out.

4

We raised our children with a knowledge of all faiths, and explained that they all had something in common - a code of social behaviour. We also explained that unless these faiths adjusted over time, to take in increased knowledge and greater social freedoms, they became irrelevant, and their adherents might become fanatical. We also told them that they were free to follow whatever religion they chose, or not to follow any.
As a result, they have grown up remarkably tolerant of people from all religions, can see the good points in them, and are utterly unconvinced by religious dogma. Hence they are both atheists, but tolerant of anyone who is not a religious fanatic.
I suggest both you and your husband explain the tenets of all religions, and then rely of them to be able to make their own judgements.
As a spin-off, perhaps if your husband were to study all the Abrahamic faiths of Christianity, Islaam and Judaism, (all of which have many sects) then also study Sikhism, Buddhism, Taoism, Jainism, Hinduism, and Zoroastrianism, then he might even change his outlook.

I don't know about my husband ever changing his beliefs. I consider it highly unlikely.

But I am hoping for a similar outcome as yours with regards to the children. That is what I am envisioning.

4

IMO nobody should ever imply, to a child, ever, that one of their parents is stupid!
Why not just briefly, considering their age, answer any questions they Might have as they arise, as you would do with questions about sexuality or any other ideas they might ask about?
If/when they question you not praying, going to church, or whatever, a simple sentence along the lines of "I no longer think it helps" is plenty

I absolutely agree that no one should make a child think a parent is stupid. I am certainly not planning on doing that intentionally but it would be easy to do inadvertently. I've always been very mindful of this and that's why I want to be very careful how I broach the subject; especially since a mere "I no longer think it helps" will not fly with my six year old. When he was four, he asked, "Did God create himself?" So I think I need to be prepared for a real conversation.

3

Teach your children to question everything and to accept things that are fact based and be willing to change their beliefs when presented with new facts. Only light can illuminate the darkness, don't try to hide things and don't criticise. Teach them that it doesn't matter you position on an issue if you can logically and emperically defend your position.

3

Honesty is always best with kids. I dotn' have kids, but I wish my parents were more honest with me.

3

Now is the time to be completely non-partisan. I would simply say you do not believe and your dad does. Tell them it it their choice and dad can take 'em to church or they can go with a friend.
Morality does not come from religious teachings and there are many stories that are not religious you can use to inform, teach and give your kids a firm moral and ethical grounding. That is what you and your husband must work out, he can not try to turn the kids against you and you can not try to turn them against him. A good councilor might be helpful so there are no nuanced messages form either one of you.

This is the first time anyone's suggested a counselor to me for this sort of thing. I'd be afraid of nuances from the counselor.

3

Having faith is not stupid, there are many highly intelligent people from all walks of life who have faith. Blindly believing stories from the bible or other faith book or religious dogma is stupid, but many people of faith can resolve that.
I would call myself agnostic rather than atheist because I am not convinced by either argument.
I would teach that to my children and try to make them accept we don't all agree and we must try to make intelligent choices based in scholarship. That might be too sophisticated for a young child all you can do is adapt for your circumstances. But never, never denigrate your partners belief to your children.

I absolutely agree that having faith is not stupid. I think a lot of my former beliefs are stupid, but a large portion of those overlap with my husband's current beliefs. That is why I do not want to simply state that those beliefs are nonsense which would be an easy thing to initially do with a six year old if there were no important figures remaining in his life with those beliefs; I want to make sure that I do not make our children think that their father or extended family is stupid. My husband is very intelligent. I am trying to figure out the best way to impress upon our older son that it's possible for us to have different views without it meaning that there is something inherently wrong with one or the other.

3

I was Christian for 30 years. I taught Sunday school and took my kids to all of the function until my son was 7 and daughter 9. I just had a near death experience that made me evaluate everything in my life. I look back and still can’t believe I was so open minded and question my faith. I didn’t really have any bad experiences but the truth is very important to me.

Here are the issues I had

  1. Hell- God is supposed to be perfect and omnipresent and omniscient . Then why did he make us to where we would sin and like sin. And if he made us to like sin then why would he send us to hell for making us to where we like sin. How could a loving god send 99% of population to hell. Wouldn’t it be better if he just hadn’t made us in the first place

  2. No historical record of Jesus- only historical evidence of Jesus is a writing of Flavius Josephus. He was born 5 years after Jesus death. Imagine someone being born 15 to 20 years from today telling us what it would be like to live during Trumps presidency

  3. If god is big enough to create universe then why can’t he just forgive us of our sins

I didn’t really say anything to my kids. We just stopped going and if they asked questions then I answered. No reason to go out of your way to criticize religion just focus on what you know is right instead of wrong

Being made so flawed so as to constantly need to battle temptation and to so frequently hurt the ones we love due to our sins and be hurt by them due to their sins when God could have easily made us to be good and not have "evil" inclinations bugged me to no end as I kept trying to reconcile all the things that didn't make sense. It was one of the issues that bothered me the most as I approached the end of my faith.

2

Not easy, I never had that problem, my wife and I agreed on most things.

2

An old friend (as a Catholic) went through a similar experience about five years ago when she realized religion was BS. - - long story short - - both her kids girl about 10 son about 13 were theists when she grew up and tossed her infant (there is a sky-daddy) belief blanket. Her initial emotions were (What a fool I have been for so many years. I have wasted so much of my life basing things on stupid nonsense all those opportunities lost.)

She placed no effort to conceal her newfound discovery that truth is based on testable facts (reality), not faith (belief without evidence) - the foundation of religion.

Thankfully, about that time her son was in religion class at school. The religion class told them about many different religions and what these religions believed so when he asked his mother about about these religions being true, she was able to laugh at all religions with equal level of (face-palm). A few weeks later he, like most in that class, grew up and tossed his theist's baby-blankets as they were exposed to the idiocy of many (including their own) religions.

Her daughter was not as easy a transition. Months later she spent months in a Christian horse/indoctrination camp where she was christened (full cattle tank immersion) into the love of Jesus and light of god. Her mother did not condemn her for not being a rational person but her relationship with her mother is not as positive as the relationship between her son.

Years later, the daughter is beginning to realize religion is BS.

As for her husband, I don't know his religious position.

I appreciate you sharing your friend's story.

2

I'm not sure why it's necessary to announce it to anyone. I am grateful that my mother exposed me to several beliefs (as you are) without ever revealing her own. As an adult I was free to choose my own path without the usual hang ups or challenges or down right abuse I've seen others face. Only in my 30s did we begin to discuss her beliefs in detail and by then her beliefs had evolved quite a bit. As far as becoming an atheist, isn't atheism our natural state? Isn't it a state of being that would exist if we were taught nothing?

It is necessary to tell my son because otherwise he will assume that I still believe. To not say anything is only an option if nothing has ben previously said. My husband will continue say what he believes and therefore I need to be able to share that I don't. Only then will he know that it doesn't need to be one way. If he continues to think Mommy and Daddy believe the same thing, he will continue to accept it as truth and it would be that much harder for him to see otherwise down the line.

As far as becoming an atheist, I used to avoid phrasing it that way because I thought it sounded like I sought out an atheist path, but I, of course, did not choose to stop believing certain things. I did not choose to be a nonbeliever. But I did decide that if I concern myself too much with semantics, I'll avoid ever saying anything or spend way too much time figuring out how to say it. So if it's not too concerning with regards to the central point, I'm more likely these days than before to not bother correcting myself. This paragraph did not require much time as I copied and pasted most of it because someone else had already objected. I love saving time. But yes, it is.

@Colibri I see your point. My step daughter's father and his family are Fundy Christian. They took her to church every Sunday. At 17 she came to me upset because she just couldn't believe what they were telling her. Before that I had never told her that my beliefs were very non-Fundy. I was careful not to belittle their beliefs as we discussed her feelings, I just let her know it was OK to believe something different. I was grateful for the opportunity to ease her mind. Most of the time Christian indoctrination backfires, that's why Church attendance is continuously shrinking. If your son is like most sons he'll look to mom for guidance when he begins to question all the indoctrination. You have another opportunity to be a hero. Just don't come off like one of those angry atheist. Isn't that awesome?

@Seminarian Awesome indeed.

2

The question can be a difficult one. Ultimately, can we teach our children values without indoctrinating them into any particular belief system like a religion? It becomes even more complicated when your child has another significant adult figure who does believe and perhaps does expect indoctrination of the child into a particular religious tradition.

When I first confronted this issue, my kids were much older in their teens and early adulthood. At some point, I realized that I wanted my kids to have the same freedom of choice that I had claimed for myself. If that meant they would follow the religious path we had set for them, then so be it. If they chose another, then I wasn't going to love them more or less because of it.

Kids are individuals and as much as we might like to believe they are empty slate that we as parents can mold into whatever we want them to be, experience has taught me otherwise. I don't doubt that parenting does have significant influences, but it is also limited in important ways. My advice to you would be to teach your kids important lessons about who they are as unique individuals in this world and how to use their brains to sort out difficult problems and issues. As their parent, learn about their unique characteristics, their abilities and sensibilities, and love them and support them in who they are. Eventually, your kids will have the tools to make what they will of their own lives and they will make decisions about what they believe independent of whatever you or your husband may have taught them. I imagine this has been what you did? It's what most of us here have done since so many here report having been raised in religious homes with religious indoctrination. The challenge is for you to live and interact with your kids as authenically as possible and to teach them by this example that they are acceptable and valuable even when they make mistakes (they don't need someone else to die on a cross for them to make up for it).

I wish you the best. Parenting may be the most difficult job to do well, and the rewards are not always as wonderful as you might hope for. This doesn't mean, however, that it isn't an important job or that your efforts won't be worthwhile.

2

Instead of this approach try teaching your young children critical thinking. Do this through biblical talk as well as other ways. Trying to turn them is going to come back and bite you in the ass. Critical thinking religiously might involve asking them if certain things in the bible have ever happened before, and if they think it might happen again. Examples would be talking snakes, talking donkeys, bones of a prophet bringing the dead back to life, people unharmed inside a fiery furnace, etc. this approach can be a sort of bible study. In the end your children will have to make up their own minds.

When I look back it was really my parents who decided I was going to be the greatest evangelist who ever lived. They did this after I showed an interest in god and religion. I'm sure this is a factor in my becoming atheist later on. It was a belief in nonsense that finally got me into real critical thinking. This happened because I investigated. Teach young children how to investigate.

My six year old loves investigating things. Perhaps we'll turn it into a game.

2

The word "became." I became a soldier because I made a decision to sign my name and go through the required training. I became a teacher because of a decision I made, went to school, and applied for positions.
I did not decide to become a christian. I was just told I was one. I did not decide to become an atheist. I just was one.
Reading on here I know people struggle with this and I do not denigrate those thoughts. I never had those struggles.
I know this is not an answer to the the question. Just adding a personal observation.**

I used to avoid phrasing it that way because I thought it sounded like I sought out an atheist path, but I, of course, did not choose to stop believing certain things. I did not choose to be a nonbeliever. But I did decide that if I concern myself too much with semantics, I'll avoid ever saying anything or spend way too much time figuring out how to say it. So if it's not too concerning with regards to the central point, I'm more likely these days than before to not bother correcting myself.

2

Do not indoctrinate anyone, that's what religious parents do to brainwash their offspring. Make religion irrelevant by not mentioning it anywhere atvany timr.

@Mofo1953 I don’t think that’s very helpful advice in this case since she said her husband and son believe. It’s in their household and part of their lives. She can’t just suddenly pretend it doesn’t exist and not get questions.

@Apunzelle in most households, early education is 90% on the mother's hands when she's a stay home mom. That's my suggestion, she can take it or leave it. It may be the most helpful advice given to her, who are you to judge?

@Mofo1953 Where does she says she’s a stay-home mom? Where does it say she’s responsible for the children’s education even if she were? That’s an old-fashioned and sexist assumption.

@Apunzelle it doesn't say either and i never said she is. All I said, if you stop assuming idiotic notions and probably learn or relearn how to properly read, was to say a true fact about the percentage of what gender takes care of education when the mother is a stay home mom. Don't be an ass by assuming, and assuming wrongly.

@Mofo1953 It’s nice to see you can engage in respectful discussion without resorting to needless name calling and aggression. Says all I need to know about you.

@Apunzelle i didn't start the busy body inanities, you did.

2

To be 'raised' in a theological tradition is to be introduced to it; otherwise there would be no reason to call it raising in the first place. Ask yourself: What would you have been raised had there been no theological indoctrination? In it's absence, a reasonable answer is atheist. It is how we're born.

Can you recall the age when you first came to believe that a god existed? Who might have told you either verbally or by ritual example? Can you recall ever having doubts about it when first told? Most of us can't, regardless of theological tradition, because 'one and all' of them indoctrinate children as early as possible with packaged sets of doctrines first experienced with family and community as 'our faith'. We have an instinctual drive to become integrated with family and others long before the ability to reason and accept anything taught by others; especially as backed-up by their actions and rituals.

If one is fortunate enough to have had intermittent or differing exposure (as in more than one type theological exposure), chances are that some measure of independent reasoning ability will develop in spite of early acceptance. Long-term, full immersion is another story. What are called religious beliefs are branded, packaged systems of thought formulated by others, adopted as a child's price of admission to family and community. The child is thereby deprived of articulating a personal system of beliefs with native reasoning faculties. So, to reject a theological thought system is a loss not of one's own faith, but of adopted, untested, pre-packaged systems of thought embossed on our psyche at a defenseless stage of development.

Rejecting a theology to reclaim that of which we were deprived should call for the regret or 'guilt' to belong to those responsible for the theft. Taking advantage of a child's natural trust and craving to be included is a wrong; whether well meant or not. Are we to feel guilty over reclaiming stolen gifts?

In all species but our own, parenting strengthens, rather than weakens, cognitive ability of the young as soon as possible because their very survival can depend on it. We humans intentionally mislead and lie to our young. There are any number of excuses for confusing their developing perceptual faculties and their little imaginations; including but not limited to tradition and duty to it over duty to them; enhancing their childhood (a thing of recent invention) and the worst, most selfish of all, enjoyment of how cute they are when we make little fools of them. Its all for their own good, of course. Fantasy can feed imagination safely when clearly understood as a pretend world, completely separate from what is real.

Once internalized, reasoned acceptance and non-reasoned adoption feel about the same. Breaking down a child's ability to 'screen' information for validity via reason renders them defenseless to charlatans of all stripes, theological AND secular. Loving parents want their children to be ready to meet life's struggle to survive and prosper. Fostering natural, self-regulating instincts by instilling caution and questioning strengthens the intellectual immune system.

A good place to start with myth correction is the one about 'grown-ups' having to be infallible. Children can develop well learning that respect for errors made by people who love each other goes two ways; especially by example. The ages of your two offer some promising learning opportunities both ways.

My children were grown, for the most part, before I finished growing-up and pursuing an intellectually independent path. Some are still probably somewhat believers and some not. They all, however, understand and respect others' differences in beliefs and that rejection doesn't necessarily translate to disrespect or intolerance.

Respect and tolerance are definitely something I'm trying to make sure to impress upon my six year old as opposed to just critical thought processes. As I have been teaching him about other religions, he has readily declared those as "silly," so part of the lesson has been to make it clear that he should not say that to anyone's face.

@Colibri Another way I look at them (authoritarian theologies and ideologies) is how similar they are to purveyors of addictives. They lure potential victims by persuading them that they are somehow deficient and missing (or going to miss) a lot of happiness because of their imperfect path. Like drug dealers, they approach as liberators from a created/fantasized 'bondage'; in theology's case, eternal punishment for their erstwhile unknown imperfection.

As parents, and as mentioned above, our role is to protect our young from predators of every kind. Life in male dominated 'civilization', if you try to see it from this angle, is one huge 'protection racket'. It was well said by Plato that a tyrant ALWAYS first appears as 'protector'.

Primary protection racketeers are more honorable than secondary ones. That is to say that they play upon existing fears or oppressions. For example, a pimp observes that a prostitute (falsely called the oldest profession) is vulnerable to any male with whom she risks dealing and offers her the security of a protective hand in return for part of her earnings. The deal is struck. This works the same way with labor unions and political ideologies. 'Stick with me and I'll improve your life by erasing the jeopardy'. Such arrangements are bad enough and ultimately become tyranny.

In the case of theology, a threat must be conjured. A person, usually as young as possible, is fed a fantasy that they are deficient, a sinner who comes into the world already burdened by an original sin they had nothing to do with committing. It can be accomplished even later in life, though more persuasion is needed. Manufactured need makes 'religion' the Madison Avenue of dependence, manipulation and greed that transcends small-time operations like street pimps, labor unions and even Medieval Aristocracies. It started early in our 'kind' and it perpetuates itself by starting early on the young and vulnerable. Empires might fall, pimps might get arrested, unions might fall to broken economies or open slavery. Unexpected events can make all things in the material, finite world lose power or status. But not the agents of invisible gods. Like drug dealers, they are guaranteed a market in any set of circumstances.

2

I would wait it out a bit with the child being so young, with the caveat being that if daddy is teaching the kid to pray, maybe some agreement needs to be reached abkut waiting for a certain age and then both sitting down and having the "this is how daddy sees it and this is how mommy sees it and you can wait and see, try both ways, make a choice now, and whatever it is, mommy and daddy will still love you and mommy and daddy won't be jealous about whose way you choose" talk. And make sure that what yiu say about mommy and daddy is true. But i think one is too young for that talk, so first have the "let's both lay off until [whenever]" talk.

g

@Genessa I disagree. The longer a child believes in a religion or a god, often the more set they are in their conviction. Then the child will think mommy is “going to hell.” What a confusing thought for a child to have!

I find that young children are much more open to what their parents have to say and to alternate viewpoints. They’re just naturally open minded.

I think it comes down to how she broaches the subject. Maybe it doesn’t need to be this big, formal sit-down. I've found that, with my son (who’s now 10), I just mentioned little things here and there over the years. It’s only now that I flat out tell him how silly it is to believe (which I’d never do if his daddy believed ... that would be too confusing).

For this OP, she can simply say she no longer believes because it doesn’t make sense to her, but it makes sense to other people.

@Apunzelle A one year ole child would not understand a word of what you suggested. I wasn't recommending that she wait until the child is shaving.

g

@genessa I wasn’t talking about the 1-year-old, obviously. I was talking about her 6-year-old.

@Apunzelle "Our other boy is only one year old. I am not sure when to openly let him know I no longer believe and how to best approach it,,,,: but she was asking about her one year old and i was responding to that. (she said she already was confronting this issue with the older kid.) and it was my response, about the one year old, to which YOU responded. so WE were talking about the ONE year old.

g

@genessa Incorrect ... “Now I am concerned about how to approach the fact that I no longer believe with my older of two sons.”

@Apunzelle she said that but OBVIOUSLY i was answering her previous wondering statement, regarding the one-year-old. i said so. and then you responded to me, not to her.

g

@genessa My husband prays over our six year old before he falls asleep. He doesn't really do anything with our one year old yet. At the moment, I'm holding off on being outwardly open and clear with both of them. I've considered just waiting until each one asks me something direct, but it might be best if at some point we do have a "talk" with each of them like the one you mention.

1

Yes you are an atheist. Really understand what that means to begin with and the rest will follow. First, you need to understand and accept that you are now at the default position. There is nothing wrong with that and you should not be ashamed. As a matter of fact, it is the one position that one expects to begin with. Imagine being in the middle east and not being Islamic.

I know how one could be a bit apprehensive at first regarding kids (as I have 2 of my own), however; I find it interesting that you start out by saying this, "I was raised as a Christian". What happened? Why are you not a Christian any longer? You are not being raised anymore. Fact is, the same line of questioning and skepticism that brought you to where you are now is the questions you need to start asking your family if confronted. The beautiful thing about being a skeptic is that it does not have to be pushed on anyone. This can all be discussed in a very respectful, loving and passive way.

Islam seems to be much more accepting of those who do the right thing over those who believe the right things, not sure why that is though

@SpecialOpsBanana Frankly, I have no desire to question my extended family if confronted (although I suppose I may have to). The people most likely to confront me are not passive, but I realize you mean the skeptic can be the passive one. I just don't want my kids to grow up as Christians by default since, as you point out, atheism is the default.

@Colibri I understand. I myself have not completely figured out how to approach some of the same things you describe. Religion has a real stronghold to most people in this country and we are certainly in the minority. In my opinion, it has to start with the parents. You and your husband are going to have to come to an agreement. That will probably be the most difficult part. Keep in mind, your reasons for being atheist are much more compelling and logical.

Theist, as I know you have been one yourself; have been rehearsing and have a support group around them constantly reaffirming their beliefs. Work on what you have learned and the reason you came to your conclusion. Morality, the evil things in the bible (versus the good they always bring up) etc. In the end, always try to nudge the ball over to their court by making them ask important questions about why they believe what they believe. I'm not by any means the most knowledgeable, but its not always rocket science. If you need someone to talk to or for advice don't be afraid to reach out to me, I mean that. If not me, I'm sure there are some really nice people on this site as well who will do the same. I hope all works out and good luck 🙂

@SpecialOpsBanana Thank you!

1

I just shrug, with a kind of "I can't help it" expression. That is, I can't help if I don't believe in something that is imaginary. I don't want to be a hypocrite, and I DO want to be honest with myself. And other people. All of the religions are all based on "make believe" deities. There's no more reasonable evidence that our "god" exists than was for the Roman gods 2,000 years ago. Or the Egyptian gods 3,000 years ago. As times change and cultures change, they make up new beliefs for various reasons. Sorry, but now I'm an adult, and I can't go along with it any more.

I have been trying to explain to our six year old that these religions we've been discussing were made up to try to explain things that people didn't understand, and that as people started to understand those things, they stopped believing in their gods. I am hoping that in time he will apply this line of thinking to his own faith.

1

Seems to me that everyone has a kind of god, in the sense that we all understand boundaries limiting our actions and words, and we understand certain positive guidelines, such as, love your neighbor as yourself, and maintain a friendly, teamwork, attitude.
If we did not all do this, we would crash our cars into each other, all the time.
The difference between the traditional god of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, and the small "g" god of us atheists, is that the religious feel there is a spirit-person, who is similar to a wise human, but better in every way. Whereas, we atheists, or, at least, me, we tend to assemble bits and pieces of wisdom and common sense rules and regulations, and, that is, in effect, our god.
Each of us has a slightly different god, just as each Christian worships a god who is slightly different from the god of any other Christian.
That is clear, because there are so many Christian denominations. Hundreds, at least, maybe thousands. Maybe you can explain that to your son, if you agree that what I wrote here is correct.
Once again, if we failed to follow the same general kind of friendly teamwork attitude, we would crash our cars into each other, all the time.
The difference, once again, between us atheists, and Christians, is that we call it common sense, and they call it doing the will of their god.
I hope that helps you.

I do not agree at all, and i think this kind of explanation would a kid even older than one year old. I will also note, slightly off topic, that the opposite of atheist is not necessarily christian.

g

@Bigjac I think it would be confusing to say we all have a “god” when she’s trying to tell him she doesn’t believe god exists at all. Why not just say she’s led by her conscience rather than by the belief in a supreme being?

Do as you would be done by.
No need to bring any kind of "god" into the frame in order to see that.

@bigjac Thanks for your reply. While I won't use the word "god" to describe my current views, I understand what you are saying and am, in a sense, doing that by pointing out the good commonalities of various religions... such as how many have their version of the golden rule.

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