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Serious Post.
Question for parents or people who are tech savvy.

How do you keep young kids from social media sites they don't belong on?

My 8 yo step grand nephew (don't you love remarriage?) - just created a FB account. He did this from home while his single mother was working. (She works from home).

Looking for real life solutions so the kid doesn't get abducted by a perv..

He's a solidly good kid - but obviously testing boundaries.

Note: Mom's work from home is done online.

RavenCT 9 Apr 5
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13 comments

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0

There are ways.

One, parental control software on whatever device he is allowed to use.

Two, Change the DNS servers on your home router to ones that can control which sites are available. Opendns.com is really good and configurable to block or not block things, ranging from porn to known phishing sites, as well as time-wasters like social media. If DNS can't (or won't) resolve to go to those sites, you can't connect to them. To mitigate this on your own devices, set the DNS servers on them to be able to bypass the limitations. Alternatively, hard code the DNS on the devices, but some are locked enough that you can't if it is using cellular data. All of that is pretty easy, though it sounds techy.

Three. I have a tech contract with my kid. It lays out the rules and boundaries as well as the consequences for crossing them. I have grounded him from the devices for minor infractions or completely taken them away permanently for major infractions.

It works. Parents, teachers and the local police love it. PM me and I will send you a link to download an editable copy.

0

As kids, I think most of us made a point to try to see things we were forbidden to see. The forbidden only encourages curiosity. let's fce it mos tof Facebook is pretty much no worse than what you se on TV.

I think it is better to just be frank and honest about internet predators and to answer all questions a best as you can, includign saying "I don't know" if you dont' know something.

If your only rason for forbidding somethign is "because i said so" or "because you are too young" without explaining why soemthign is age loimited, the kid won't really listen. Tell them why it is forbidden with legitimate reasoning and kids will for the most part do the righ thing.

It's actually not legal to be on FB before the age of 18,

He's 8, He absolutely would not understand what he sees there. I'm all for truthfulness but the comprehension level needs to be there.

I'm certain he will get the predator talk etc....

I think it is actually age 13 to be on FB.

1

Some good suggestions here, and I can speak franky and say if had seen some of what's out there as a teen I would probably have issues today. Or I would have died from complications caused by excessive masturbation (if there is such a thing)! The thing to remember, if they want to see it they will find a way, if not at home at a freinds house.

3

OK
easiest way for me, if it is a windows compute, though it does work with others
create a "hosts" file.
In Windows 10 it is stored at C:\Windows\System32\drivers\etc\hosts file
you can search for it.
open it in note pad and edit it,
just add the name of the site you want to block and give it an address,

ie 127.0.0.1 website url etc

whenever they try and go to that site, the get redirected back to their own computer,
you could go one stap further and create an index.html file with some code that says "I have told you not to go to this site!" and save it in the root directory of the computer.
You need administrator rights to do this.

This is what I did about 15 years ago when I had teens in the house, I just checked, it still works.
here are some instructions.
[support.rackspace.com]

Devious! I like it!

2

Kids have to know thouse things, that's the world they are living in. I did that with my two daughters. I never wanted them to fall behind anything. This world is too competitive as it is. The only thing I enforced and it was not negotiable, they were not allowed to shut the door while on line and they never had a computer in their room. Today is a bit more difficult to enforce with smart phones.... Its a thin line....

1

Tech enthusiast here. Regarding the FaceBook account, and this is just my opinion, nobody under age eighteen should be using any social media platforms without consistent parental supervision. With that said, assuming he is accessing FB from a smartphone, there are app-lock apps available for both Android and Apple devices, and those kind of apps allow a user to passcode lock all or individual apps, so if he doesn't have the password and FB app is locked he will not be able to access it. If a desk/laptop is being used, that would be a bit tricky. There may be other ways of monitoring, and if they come to mind I'll be sure to let you know, hope that helps some.

His Mom closed the account (We think). He lied about his birth year to create one.

And I agree - kids need monitoring.

She hands him her tablet - so that right there is an issue and yes parental controls and locks should be in place. I presume some are because so far this FB thing is the worst that's happened. But glad to know you can lock FB.

I don't think he has access to a cell phone? Will definitely look into that one,

@RavenCT I think applock apps are available for both smartphones and tablets. Even if no kids are present, a third party applock is good to have as any app of your choosing could be locked, and a lockscreen passcode would not be necessary. On another note, where browser apps are concerned I would recommend FireFox Browser, as there are literally hundreds of add-ons available to download for free that help setup filters for specific content, with pornography blockers being a top priority for parents of young children who can get ahold of mommy and daddy's devices easily. Glad I could help you, take care.

1

You can create a restrictive list by labeling it as an untrusted site. There are parental filters on tablets android especially for children under 14 allowing you to enforce limits like hours it locks them out, which apps are allowed and toggle camera features and mics off and on. It's called family link. And it is a google app.

Ok this is awesome - will pass it along.

1

You don't.

Remember way back when you were young... or your friends... what was the average response to "whatever you do, do NOT do..."? I recall that most of us kids DID exactly that.

So, don't make it taboo, just give guidance on how to do it safely. Give knowledge and critical thinking skills. Teach them to question motivations and to understand why things are happening (as well as how) on the web, and in their life... this sort of reasoning is missing from the religious right and no small reason why I prefer the agnostic/atheist side of life.

He's only 8. Explanations would only keep him so safe. I agree there is education warranted.

I actually didn't do a lot of dumb shit? But my mother was home and paying attention. Also I was an abnormally smart kid.

That's why I'm looking for tech solutions.

Also his Mom needs to set harder limits with tech.. She's apparently clueless.

He lied about his age to create a FB account which takes a little savvy.
He then posted to FB from School which we are all sincerely confused about?

Unless he took her tablet to school with him in which case? OMG!

Most schools have computers that the kids are using. Not always for the intended purpose. Some schools are very good at locking down the network to block sites. There is a debate as to whether or not to block social media, such as FB. 1st amendment and all that.

The problem is that blocking sites or IP addresses is a target that moves and is far too agile. If I had any say in it, I'd block all BUT a few sites. Granted, the kids would hate me. 🙂

2

Set the parental control on the computer, and password protect it to ensure that children can't access inappropriate sites when you are not there.

2

If the only way they can access the net at home is through wifi unplug the router when you can't closely supervise the child's web use.

I was thinking "Change the password" - but then found out she hands him her tablet? My sister and BIL are going to "Speak to her" about this. All of this.

I think she's a bit overwhelmed by being a single parent. Understandable - but we don't want something awful happening either.

Also she works from home online? So maybe the password would work. She can't shut off wifi. Ugh!

My father (and mother) always maintained that when I was four I disassembled everything in the house, and put it back together when I was five. Odds on this child, living in the current world, is savvy enough to figure out "hmm, no wifi, is the wifi router on?" Then go remedy said situation.

Same goes for the password, unless you are truly diabolical and come up with a 256 digit (ore more) password, you ain't gonna stop a kid who really wants to break in. At worst, they will reset the device, and set their own password. If they are REALLY smart, they already have a backdoor password set.

Better to teach them wise ways, and critical thinking, I think, than to try and make it a game by creating cool road blocks (granted, you WILL teach them how to get around said blocks).

@Gnarloc You sound like my brother. rofl

I come from a family of fairly bright people - so this is a conundrum. ie I'm well aware of the trouble you can get into with a chemistry set. lol

I don't think it occurred to his Mom to set limits around this - and now he's old enough to want to explore.

I do think explaining that you may not reach a friendly adult is important to know.
But also he should not be able to take her tablet to school without her knowledge?

I found a decent article on some very basic parental safeguards. And she shouldn't be using a tablet as a tool to keep him busy.

I don't think he's the level of bright that will be able to set a back door password. (One hopes).

I have two nephews who probably could and would have done that - but thankfully their parents were a bit more present.

It's a real mix of a failure in parenting that can be fixed - and not knowing what to do to keep your kids safe online.

3

No access to a computer when parents aren't home. I kept the computer in the living room or my bedroom with a 2 hour daily limit including homework. This was in middle and higj school.if he chose to play for 2 hours, the computer was unavailable for homework.

The parent is home and works on her computer.

But yes - limits are an excellent idea.

@RavenCT
At his age there should be no access without direct supervision. The simple solution here is for his mother to actually parent instead of handing him a machine.

@PhoebeCat My sister and BIL plan to speak to her when they return from FL.

I am aware she's the problem - but I'd like to provide some tech tools as well.

When you are working online when your children are home - I imagine it gets interesting. She might need a sitter.

3

Check out net nanny. Also, there are gadgets that can be added (hardware) to lock down internet when adukts are not around.

3

Well the thing is to remember that he is a little kid. Too often we forget that children, although they may talk like little adults, are actually, very undeveloped minds.

So aware!
And was all "OMG my FB page would scar him for life?".

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