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How many times a day do you receive a comment from someone that starts with "I know you don't believe in God, but..." followed by their total disrespect of your feelings by sharing some self-indulgent and utterly meaningless promise to pray for you or some religious homily that has given their superstition more validity in their own eyes? How do you respond when this happens?

Deb57 8 June 30
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58 comments (26 - 50)

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2

I guess it doesn't happen to me, which is kind of too bad. I'm not beyond engaging someone about their supernatural processes, as long as it's not a one-way conversation.

TO_BY Level 7 June 30, 2020
2

When someone tells me that they will "...pray for me...", (note that many times it is a way of casting aspersions upon one's character, rather than a genuine offer), I tell them that I find such statements to be disingenuous and if they were sincerely interested in my welfare, they would offer me twenty dollars instead...then I would know that they were truly sincere.

2

Uh never

2

Almost never. On the rare occasion a theist makes that mistake I often make their condescending lives miserable.

My response will depend on their assertion but in those events I will often demonstrate.
Theist (god is real)
#1 They (asserting that a god exists, have not met their burden of proof) How do you demonstrate your god exists)
Theist (bible and or faith)
#2 As dishonestly accepting faith (belief without evidence) as a methodology to determine truth (things that are demonstrable/testable, they are opening their minds to accept any bs.
Theist (Atheists don't believe in anything)
#3 No. Not all atheists are the same but those I know believe things that can be demonstrated and tested. We value truth based on facts over faith claims that can not demonstrate integrity. In short we care about realty and value truth.
Theist (Atheists have no morals)
#4 If you define moral as doing what pleases their yet to be demonstrated god, sure but according to your god, when Jephthah (Judges 11) killed his young daughter so he could cut her up and burn her body parts because god likes the smell of burning flesh, this was totally moral. In the bible (word of god) slavery is OK and you can beat your slave as long as he does not die in the next day. So your moral code is OK with owning and selling people. Because I care about the good of myself and those in my community, my code would not allow me to commit such evils that your book endorses.

I could write pages as there are many other arguments and responses.
The list goes on but that those I encounter often run away. In one case one cowered and whimpered like a beaten dog. In one case, one found a corner in a stairwell and assumed the fetal position. Usually they just run away.

It took hundreds of hours to build a bank of responses and it takes a while to make your point with those brave enough to engage you. I would recommend watching all the youtube atheist experience shows, Potholer54 and AronRa for science, anticitizenx for philosophy, Edward Tarte (ex catholic church priest) for info in Catholic badness. There are many more.

Good luck.

2

Almost never, I have been known to have a quick tongue and defend my position without denigrating theirs. If someone starts a conversation with a statement like that, my first response is "good".

2

I'm lucky in that I never get these types of comments but I imagine it gets incredibly frustrating. I would probably yell "STOP" after that 'but'. As my old co-worker used to say "don't turn your problem into my problem"- you should try to make it clear that God and salvation is their issue and not yours. If they have an ounce of respect and consideration for you, they will stop, but sometimes you do need to take a more aggressive (verbally of course) stance.

1

Many people simply don't have anything else to say outside of faith. That is literally all they are worth. They don't read books or discuss philosophy, so they literally have nothing else to contribute.

Since we tend to judge others on our own standards, this is something that I forget to consider. Very insightful observation.

1

Almost never. I do see the god is wonderful posts, and grimace at the irony of its fine for them to post these things, but no matter how politely I say you know, there are lots of us out here that respectfully disagree.. I am still labeled the bad guy.

1

So long as they are praying for something positive like good health ... I'm cool with it. I think of it as positive energy being sent my way. I try to be careful with what I share with they people who pray because I don't want them sending vibes that work against my goals or preferences.

There are always people who say things that I might not agree with. Generally I will minimize my time on that subject or with those people because I have less of it (time) every day. How does it affect your feelings?

1

Not as often as I used to. But I would do one of these things depending on my mood or situation:

  1. Ignore it

  2. Thank them for their warm wishes, and move on with my life... (and here is why: generally speaking, when someone is sucked into their religion, prayer is their go-to fix-all because they've never had to come up with any other solutions on how to support or help someone. It's all they know, and to them, it's their way of helping in the best way possible, depending on the circumstances. TLDR: They don't know any better, and I'm not spending time on teaching them)

  3. Politely poke holes in what they sent

  4. Reply back with "Hail Satan" (just kidding, but it's so tempting)

  5. If their reason for messaging you was because you truly are struggling with something, tell them you appreciate them reaching out, and provide things they can do to actually help.

  6. tell them you find religion very triggering because you are still recovering from it, and to please stop sending messages pertaining to it. Hourly they will respect your boundaries.

  7. change the topic to something you have in common with them

  8. flick a bogger at them

Apart from those, I've found that there's an extra burden that I have seemed to have naturally taken on since leaving religion. I feel the need to go out of my way to set an example/model behavior around religious people so they can see how a non religious person reacts to X (whatever circumstance that caused them to reach out with prayer). Like I mentioned above, many of them don't know a different way, so teaching through modeling behavior (especially if it's a loved one who you want to preserve a relationship with) can change how they approach you in the future.

Just remember that they are the one stuck in the confines of their religion and their religious teaching. You are free from that, but they don't see you as free, they see you as lost. Though they are well intentioned, they don't understand how backwards they have it.

1

Doesn't tend to happen to me. I even once sat by myself (my father was in a brass band I had given him a lift in to a performance and was having a cuppa while I waited) as I could see some nutter trying to work the crowd but I must have been too scary and giving off the "Come on make my day vibe." He never came over to my area, I even had a spare chair for him to sit on noticed that he was going after the young Asian women who were by themselves. Coward.

1

Never happened!

1

Rarely if ever. I’m blessed occasionally by strangers, but I’m typically left in peace. They probably see the large A tattooed on my forehead and avoid me like the plague.

1

Hardly ever.
Most people who actually know me at all, know better than to come at me with that
bullshit.
What it has happened, I usually respond with a really dead-pan, "how nice for you".
If they persist, I ask, "and you're telling me this because...?"
That's usually sufficient.

If not, then the real fun begins. 😀

1

Never, but I don't live there either.

1

Never, but then I live in Australia.

1

Personally? Zero times a day. Maybe once a decade.
However, there is certainly a palpable daily barrage of religious nonsense imposed on us all.

Mvtt Level 7 June 30, 2020

There is all kinds of superfluous stimuli coming at us all the time. I focus on the stuff that is pertinent or interesting to me.

1

They don't know I don't believe in God. It's none of their business. I only berate religious people who come on this site.

barjoe Level 9 June 30, 2020
1

None. Yeah, I'm lucky.

1

Truly, I don't with the rare exception of my mother saying it kind of self-consciously before she wants to do something religious, like lead a group prayer before a family meal. It seems you hear it quite a bit. From the same person, or a group of people? How are you handling it?

Lauren Level 8 June 30, 2020
1

I suppose my look resembles astonished disappointment…

Varn Level 8 June 30, 2020
0

I know you mean well, but it's really not necessary.

0

I've never really had a problem with that. As in, even the most religious of my friends and family would never do that to me. I don't advertise or even really bother mentioning my beliefs, or lack of them, but I assume those closest to me are aware. None of them would be so rude.

Well, maybe my ex in-laws. But, they live a 1000 miles away and I only saw them every couple of years, or so. And, every time they suggested church, I could find an excuse not to. Or when they suggested my ex and I would be better off regularly attending one, I could just smile and nod, and ignore it until the next time they visited. No use arguing or holding hard feelings over something so trivial and easily ignored.

0

Rarely happens. I think my response would depend on the person, though I think in most cases they would know they are overstepping the line. I probably would say something that does not encourage further discussion, maybe something as simple as "Feel free to pray if it makes you feel better".

You hit one nail on the head when you said "...pray if it makes you feel better". EXACTLY! They do that for themselves! And by itself, that wouldn't be a bad thing, but...

But the other "nail" to hit is this one:

Simply, it is arrogant for religious / "prayerful" people to say that to non-religious folk, in particular when they know that the recipient(s) are non-religious. It allows them to interject religion, with an air of superiority and piousness--under the guise of being caring (which yes, they may really be caring), when they KNOW we believe that praying does no good. If there was ever a time to put their religion on hold--even if just for a moment--and wish us well in a SECULAR way, it's when we're hurting and need support.

So I am beginning to share perspective for the "god blessers" on this, as diplomatically as I can.

0

I don'f get those.

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