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Some truths about datIng and relatIonshIps

sassygirl3869 9 Apr 6

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0

So very true

1

Very good advice.

0

aiya aiya agree

Rosh Level 7 Apr 7, 2018
2
3

Agreed.

Addendum (from the other side of the coin):

"Just because someone gives you their love, affection, or attention, that doesn't necessarily mean it's 'meant' for you, or good for you, or that you owe them anything. Take it or leave it--and don't feel bad if you want to leave it. Love does not obligate."

2

I hear you, loud and clear...

2

This came to mine when I read your meme... baby don't hurt me no more.

I liked it. I was up dancing with myself!.

3

You don't find love. love finds you. it kind of happens like spontaneous combustion. It needs a spark and actions to increase the flame. Sometimes that takes alot of work but there does have to be some chemistry happening between two people. Quite often those actions are not intentional but just being involved with someone can increase a bonding process. It is kind of like a crap shoot. Opposites do attract at times. I don't think it matters that much what activities you like or what music you like or what food you like etc. The feeling has more to do with the brain .

Well said. I've been reading and exploring how the brain is responsible for our thoughts AND feelings in lots of areas. The book Mistakes Were Made, But Not By Me was excellent in pointing out the results of the impact of beliefs held on to, even against evidence. One quote: Most hopeful for a long-term resolution of conflict--both sides dropping their self-justification and agreeing on steps to move forward.

4

You may think this is heartless but no relationship happens, be it a loving relationship, business, sports or just drinking, unless there is some quantifyable benefit to both. I don't know if chasing someone is a good idea but some people only have relationships with people that have chased them. We are all a million throws of the emotional dice.

1

Exactly !!

6

So much for my bad jokes, but on the serious side, love happens. You can't make it happen, it just does. mutual attraction, empathy, gut feelings, chemistry? They just happen, and when things align what happens is at a minimum friendship, sometimes that's all, and sometimes it grows into love.

If you force that attraction it is easy to turn the other person off, or even into revulsion, a slippery slope. Yes, there can be love at first sight, but often that is more animalistic, and a mutual desire to jump into bed. So tread lightly. It may just be a one night stand for the other person, or both of you.

I think my late wife was on to something. We becames sexually involved, it started with a very surprising one night stand. then we decided to move in together, but she said if you ever say "I love you" she would be out the door. I did love her, so I kept my mouth shut, and one day, voila, she told me she loved me.. but if I ever suggested marriage she would leave me. I knew she was the best thing that was ever going to happen to me, so I did something I rarely do, kept my mouth shut, until one night, while camping in the woods on our way to visit the Cass Sceinic Railway in West Virginia she said, "Don't you think it's time we got married?" When we got up the next morning we saw the warning sign, no camping, bears! But in a few weeks, in a small ceremony in a judge's office in Huntington, West Virgina we tied the knot, went out for a celebratory late lunch, and went to machine shop class that night... "What did you two do today the instructor asked, we told him we got married. He smiled and asked what were doing in class, to which we advised him not to be concerend, our marriage was preconsumated. I suspect he still laughs about that 40 years later.

So love was given honestly and freely and for once in my life I didn't spoil the moment. Don't you spoil the moment , either!

An that's a key here, don't spoil the moment. I think Joan was in love long before she said so, but certain milestones had to be passed before she was going to commit.

That woman went on to amaze me, a journeyman locomotive mechanic, steam and diesel. Then a fully certified Aircraft Mechanic (A&P, IA), Boliermaker, having rebuilt several steam locomotives on the West Coast and in Australia, Radio Anouncer, Radio Time Salespersonm fantastic cook with a baking gene, cat lover, would be gardener, lousy housekeeper, etc. Now you are probably thinking big, knuckle draging hulk.... nope a very beautiful, head turning woman, and yes, she did get more muscular. And before I lost her they had done a bone density test, it came back at 150% of normal density, to which we all kidded her, we now knew why her knuckles dragged.

Only problem, Joan pushed everything to the max, and was seriously injured on the job at the Burlington Northern Santa Fe railroad, she recovered but became addicted to prescription opiates, her undoing.

Oh, forgot to mention her dad's warning, "no daughter of mine is going to do a man's job." I guess we know better,

4

The words look good on this poster, but I’m not sure it has standing. Love, attention, affection so different that maybe they each deserve their own poster and discussion. I certainly expect to put in effort at my end for someone’s attention. If I have nothing to say or contribute, I would expect that person to be a bit more than annoyed. Likewise, how many of us are brave enough to offer up our affection to anyone we hardly know? Love is probably the most conditional of all social circumstance. Who hasn’t lectured a friend or two that their current love interest doesn’t deserve their love, affection or attention for that matter. The social condition demands a great deal from each of us. How fun!

I agree!

@BeeHappy Thank you 🙂

You are very welcome, sir! ?

3

Marriage in the west, especally in the US, cannot possibly encompass everything about a person's life.

This will sound a bit silly to young people. But, sometimes persistance does result in at least a tolerable companionship during the journey.

Actually, most relationships ebb in and out of "just tolerable," given the circumstances of what life provides for us.

Jacar Level 8 Apr 6, 2018
2

Agreed. For so long I did that with my exes. They never loved me. I was just a body in the room to them.

2

A chemical reaction in your brain triggered by sensory input.

0

I always wonder the love between man and women is real? We feel it's real for a moment/for a while, but seems fade away.

Anything fade away means "fake".

Sasha Level 4 Apr 6, 2018

Bad equivalence. Life is complication and messy. Some stuff takes years to think about, to appreciate,...

Sorry, but I think it's real. I've loved my wife (now -ex) for over 35 years now, so it's real to me, even though she left me. The reasons she left were complicated, though not from lack of love.

It takes nurturing and attention. Just as the musician puts in the time strike the perfect cord, so do we need to put in the time. Truly a labor of love.

My hair faded away, and it was real. I have pictures to prove it. 🙂

2

...although the term 'chase' is relative, pursue is not chase but close, one can 'care too little' in this current dating climate and turn off others...it is tricky to say the least I have found.

2

What is love, according to those great philosophers The Playmates..

What is Love? Five feet of heaven in a pony tail, the cutest pony tail that sways with a wiggle when she walks...

lol fun!

1

Agreed..

1

100% truth

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