27 5

Is social anxiety a problem for anyone else? My brain seems to shut off the moment someone asks me a question!

AustinKoz 3 Apr 7

Post a comment Reply Add Photo

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account


Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.


I have terrible social anxiety, and have had since I was a child. I have difficulty speaking especially if in a large group of people.


I've had social anxiety my whole life. I've taken many steps to get better and it has improved a great deal. Building self-esteem and confidence by trying new things, lots of therapy, and doing what I'm passionate about has helped a great deal.


I have it to a degree. If someone initiates a conversation, I'm fine, but I'm not inclined to initiating it.

godef Level 7 Apr 7, 2018

I use "social anxiety" as a convenient shorthand for I-don't-trust-people-because-I've-been-bullied-and-rejected-my-whole-life-so-I-can't-stand-attention-and-since-I-skateboarded-in-public-for-several-years-people-have-been-recognizing-me-staring-and-gossiping-so-leaving-my-house-is-kind-terrifying-for-me-right-now


I get a little nervous and have to pee a lot right before a date. Be it with old friends or new.

It's a touch of social anxiety.

I do too but only because I'm permanently overdosed on coffee lol

@ipdg77 Ha. I cut back a few years ago. It could be worse.

I would've never guess .... In your pic you look very confident. So, like an Alan Parsons song says ... "Don't let it show"

@IamNobody I am very confident. Being slightly nervous occasionally doesn't cancel out confidence or self assurance.


It sometimes happen to me too. Do not worry, it is ok.


I like associating with people, but it really drains me. I need time alone to recharge.


I have to admit here at 78, that a big portion of my life was spent feeling awkward, at gatherings, parties or in groups. It did help to learn that I am an introvert and I don't do small talk easily. And, introverts are not energized by being around other people, like extroverts are! In fact my energy is depleted, if I stay to long! I did improve, but it is still not my favorite thing to do.

It seems i share your feelings.


For me, it depends. I have issues with perceived expectations, but only occasionally. It's very situational. One example was I always had issues ordering for subway. Something about the way it's set up. You have to tell multiple people what you want and there's more demand to be decided quickly when you're in that line. I think it's because its customizable, and I don't want to make people's work life hard.

I'm hypersensitive to the desires of other people.

Sometimes eye contact is hard. It can be people ive made eye contact with regularly, but on certain days. I can't stand the thought of engaging anyone. It's like I don't have the energy to try. I'm not sure what the trigger is. Maybe that day I don't feel like I can take any scrutiny?

Anyway, I think anyone with social anxiety may have issues managing expectations.


Yeah, I deal with it, too. I sweat when I get anxious. It's super embarrassing.


I can talk to pretty much anybody anywhere, so l can't really relate. I'm not sure who has the advantage. Is it a matter of confidence? Is it something you have always had to deal with? Have you tried therapy? Being the opposite of someone with social anxiety l am curious as to why it is so difficult to talk to people since l can't shut up sometimes, like now. 🙂

For me it has to do with wanting to avoid uncomfortable situations or conflict. I have confidence in almost every aspect of my being. I have no difficulty talking to people what so ever. You can't really say that you're the opposite because you clearly don't know what it means to have social anxiety.

@Scotttheshot That would be the definition of opposite. I have no anxiety in social situations. If l am feeling anxiety for something in my life, going to a social situation can take it away, at least temporarily.

@Sticks48 I see what you mean. I have 2 douche bag brothers. If a situation arises where I feel obligated to attend and I know they'll be there, I'll feel anxiety because, based on our history, I know there's a good chance that there will be attitudes and tensions. They don't play nice. So I just remove myself from the situation entirely.

@Scotttheshot I don't blame you for that.
As I have gotten older l find l like to avoid circumstances l know could be tense. Who needs it?


Yeah social anxiety is a huge problem for me. I have often bailed on events that I had originally planned on attending. Usually it's a family event but it has also been weddings and funerals. I don't seem to have a problem when I'm anonymous, such as concerts or events away from the small town that I live in. I play in a band and that hasn't been an issue so far but I do have an aversion to the bars otherwise. It wasn't always that way for me, it seems to have come on slowly over the last 20 years or so.

I used to get asked all of the time, "how can you be shy/introverted and play in a band?"

It's easy. I get lost in my own little world when I am up on stage. I don't wear my glasses or contacts so the crowd is nothing but a blur and I had a lot of hair to hide behind. ?

@Bierbasstard It's easy for me too. I hide behind the drums and during break time I go outside and smoke a few one hitters.

@Scotttheshot Exactly. Between sets I was nowhere to be found. If I wasn't outside, I would find the darkest, furthest corner away from the stage.


You’re not alone. I’m even hesitant online. When people first meet me I’m awkward. But once they get to know me I’m anything but awkward.


Woke up in full on anxiety mode. So, no, you're not alone.


Ever wonder why it never was a Problem or an Issue before?


Mine ebbs and flows and I wish that I could find what triggers it.

I, sometimes, get the same way when asked questions. I can hear the blood pulsing through my ears and my hearing gets muffled. My peripheral vision closes in. My mind just closes down.


AustinKoz, I had crippling social anxiety. 20% of the population is affected by it. You aren't alone. You probably are especially sensitive to others, picking up on signals that most others miss. It's a double edged sword until you learn it's power. Try mindfulness: allowing this part of you to be without reacting to it. It's almost as though it's a reserve of extra sensory data. I hope going forward you will learn to embrace it and contain it rather than to allow it to take control of you. It takes time but it's a worthwhile endeavor.


I don't, but one of my kids had social anxiety so bad she had selective mutism. She could only talk to me, her dad and a few other family members. She never talked at school for about a year until she got intervention.

My ex shuts down when I would ask him questions.


Mine is just avoiding places where there are people, I hate socialising.


I feel you. I'm super awkward in social situations.


Good luck out there 😉

Marz Level 7 Apr 7, 2018

Depression is too much past...
Anxiety is too much future...
The present is the reality we need to face / live...enjoy


For me, I had to lose it with a job serving the public. It's hard on my days off to get out of my living center.


Mine shuts down the other way around, I don't know what to say !!!.… I know, I know.. at my age, right???


Your brain shifts into "fight or flight" reflex. I don't know how you could supress this. Perhaps just repeated exposure.

Write Comment
You candd include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:52228
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.