When a funeral is heavily religious as an atheist I find it an empty depressing experience. If that wasn't even what the person wanted I'd be outraged. It's kind of like when a couple marry and you know they aren't the least bit religious but do a full on church religious ceremony without any sense of irony. I was baptised against my will, got "confirmed" somewhat coercively when I hadn't established an independent ontologically view of life but I sure as heck don't want my passing marked by anything at all to do with religion.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and for having your final farewell tarnished by an obtuse minister. You don't mention whether your friend was religious or not, but I hope it aligned with what he wanted.

For me, I've noted that I want cremated, and I used to have very specific instructions for my celebration of life / memorial service / funeral, but I've decided to go with no other instructions than cremation and ash distribution by my daughter. She knows she is the only one who can over-ride anyone else who attempts to interject more traditional farewells, so my only concern is her feelings.

I thought about writing a statement to be read in a service about me when I'm gone. the statement of gratitude, a statement of my unbelief, kind of a goodbye forever statement.

I’m not having a service. I just want my ashes scattered in the mountains.

That is very ugly behavior...even for a preacher.

I can agree with that. I don't want Jesus to have anything to do with my final state.