I'm not into porn to any degree, myself, but that may just be because of my very limited exposure to it. I wouldn't mind if my partner occasionally enjoyed it, as long as it wasn't an obsession. But an obsession with any activity can be detrimental to a relationship. If my partner's interest in porn caused him to be more communicative or creative sexually, it could be a real bonus.

i view porn the same as i view polygamy. while it is not my cup of tea, there is nothing wrong with it. its just that some people are comfotable with it and others are not. i think it is only an issue, if 2 people in a relationship have discussed what they are looking for in the relationship, and say one says " i am not comfortable with you watching porn" if the partner leads this person 2 believe that they will respect that, and then goes behind your back and does it anyway, then yes there is a problem. i feel that there are plenty of people out there who feel either way about it, just find someone with similar views as you and nobody gets hurt.

Like what @Stargazer13 and @PeppermintDreads said. Have been trying to figure this out myself recently. A few months ago I posted 'The Male Gaze' . It was about strippers/'exotic' dancers I've known and how screwed up they were or are because of the emotional corrosiveness of their profession. And I would expect porn actresses to be even worse. I definitely cannot say I've never used porn. Over 10 yrs. of a sexless marriage can push a guy towards using porn but I can't ignore how much straight porn can mess up women anymore. If I watch porn now I wonder how that woman getting fucked truly feels about what she's doing and what events in her life led her to that place. That's why I've pretty much eliminated porn from my life even though I still have this immense sexual void in my life. I'm sure there are less harmful ways to portray heterosex just haven't seen too many examples. Attempting to figure out a healthier way to be hetero. Not easy getting out of 55 years of socialization. Thanks for the post. Also posted 'Porn: straight' even further back. Got some interesting comments on both posts.

If you are in a really good relationship with someone would there be a need for either party or both parties to watch porn? If I go fishing or skiing I do not need to watch videos on how to fish or ski.

If you feel that you do not want to be in a relationship with someone who watches porn on regular basis then I would stay well clear of such people. Follow what feels good to you.

I just glanced at your profile, Nimravide. You have so much to offer, don't settle for guys who are consumers of shallow distractions. I just left a friends with benefits long-term arrangement that couldn't get off the ground...because of this, as it turns out! He's consumed with petty distractions. And, trust me, if a guy is hooked on porn, there are other things he's distracted by, too. Mine is a great friend but incapable of real connection.

when i'm in a relationship i do not watch porn because i have a real woman in the next room. i can understand why a woman would be perturbed that their companion would prefer to watch porn when she is a willing participant. i doubt that problem occurs much visa versa.

There wasn't really an option I liked.

The difficulty I have is that I do not know what you classify as porn. What do you class as regular?

And what harm are you referring to?

We all have things that we consider "deal breakers." They, by their nature, limit prospects.
I have no problems with porn and it would be a deal breaker for me to have restrictions put on it. I do have a problem with any number of other things that are deal breakers. I won't for example date someone with a modern day Republican world view, or someone that is conspicuously wasteful or racist or homophobic or Christian or non-introspective.

The trick is to know what your deal breakers are and filter them early so you can spend you time meeting people more compatible. Whatever you decide those deal breakers are is completely reasonable for you. Best to find someone that shares them rather than try to make someone conform.

So, the question is, is it a deal breaker for you?

I think it’s strange that you can’t find someone who doesn’t watch porn regularly. Frankly, if I was with a woman, then why would I need porn.

Even as a teenager, I never understood the obsession with pornography. Then again, when I was ready for dating there were always women to date, so I didn't need it either. I have no objections to a lone individual posing in the buff, that's self expression and could even be considered art. I'm against the group stuff and actually depicting sexual acts being carried out. Lastly, I feel this way on that for a very particular reason...

I think it’s fine to know what you want. That being said, I think a lot of men, perhaps the majority ( the younger ones, for sure), watch porn. Personally I think it’s fine if people want to display their sexuality if they want to. Is it somehow different from other sexual preferences people are aroused by? That being said, it would be disingenuous to ignore the exploitation that can (and does) occur as well. But the same is true of any industry... were the hands that put together the device you are using to read this paid a fair wage for their labor? Were they old enough to determine whether they are being exploited or not? ... I mean, we could ask the same questions about the production of Jeans, Sneakers and Electronics of all descriptions. Just from a glance at your profile, I’d say you already think of those things pretty deeply. I often contemplate this question from the other angle.... will ever I find a partner(s) that doesn’t make such a big deal out of sex? I think a lot of these attitudes are just projected on us since birth... but there are some “obvious” reasons (I can imagine) females may take sex more seriously... such as pregnancy and gestation? Just from casual observation, my suspicion is that female reproductive structures are more vulnerable and sensitive to damage as well. Man parts may hang out and be prone to mechanical damage, but female bits seem to be more prone to infection and such like... it’s a little more complicated than what fellas have going on. We take a boot to the nads from time to time, but we don’t tend to worry much about UTIs, HPV giving us cancer, Cysts, fibroids, prolapse, we don’t think much about our “pelvic floor”... As I get older I wonder, are there any women that don’t have some kind of chronic digestive or reproductive disfunction? Seems like just about every lass I encounter has one, the other, or both. What’s up with that? A bit of windy ramble. That’s what I do.

Different degrees of porn. Some people thought 50 Shades of Grey was almost porn. To each his own.

There are all kinds of porn and a lot of it has questionable origins for sure but people have easy access to self publish too. Self publishers are filming themselves to make extra bucks or for the thrill of it. No harm in that imo.

Yes, there are those that agree with you but there are also many that (morality views aside) just aren’t that interested in watching porn.

You gave a lot of info for this but it seems to literally come down to "Does restricting my options restrict my options?

If you're discussing the morals of porn, I know actually kinda a lot of exhibitionists and some who have been on camera. Who exactly do you think is getting hurt from porn? It seems to me you may have a prejudice to assess. I don't mean to attack, I'm just saying that this is the impression I've gotten and am trying to offer constructive criticism. Hope your dating life goes well.

I'm sure there are people out there who agree with you, but I'm certain it will severely limit your options. Single people not into random hookups will most likely watch or own some sort of porn.

When I'm in a relationship, I don't need porn. Unless we both watch and enjoy it together before we play. When I'm single, sure I watch porn. It has nothing to do with consumerism for me. If I'm horny and want a visual aid to rub one out to, it serves a purpose. People choose to be porn stars. That's on them. Some love it, some don't, and they regret it after they get into it. A lot of them have problems. A lot of them don't. Porn can exacerbate those problems or enable them. Porn stimulates my mind and then sends the signal down to the hammer and it feels good. It's just the same as me engaging in a sex act and seeing, hearing, experiencing all the cues from my lover. Or watching two or more people not in porn. I think Americans are so repressed when it comes to sex and nudity. So judgmental.

Have you considered that watching porn is maybe because the person is single? I don't see the big deal really myself and would happily watch it with a partner for fun, experience etc.

I don't know what or how to answer.

It is discussing like treating people as animals . My view.

Since I'm into serial sleeping around, I don't face this issue. Having said that, I could never be with someone who told me what I could or not read, watch, listen to, etc.

I don't know about unreasonable, but I think it is a very odd parameter. Sounds like one step away from the thought police!