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Hi! I'm brand new, just signed up yesterday. About 15 years ago I first admitted to myself that I don't believe in any kind of god or supreme being. My family and I continued going to church and Sunday school. They had no idea how I felt. I finally came out of the "closet" to my family only a few years ago, and was actually relieved to find out my grown kids are agnostic! Things are a lot more relaxed between us now, no pretending.

What I don't understand is why I still find something comforting about crossing myself when I'm embarrassed or uncertain about something, and singing hymns, and other trappings of my Episcopal training. I don't believe any of that stuff, I don't believe I'm praying to God, but I'm putting my desires or even my gratitude out there - but to where? I firmly believe that we humans are no more important in the grand scheme of things than any other organism on Earth and we will all die and that will be it.

Does anyone else have those leftover feelings they don't know what to do with?

wordlady-63 4 Sep 1
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30 comments

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0

Hymns are fun to sing on purpose...just ignore the words!

5

No remnants of my catholic upbringing remain. Although sometimes I think it's funny to place a slice of pepperoni on my tongue like the eucharist. I even say "the body of Christ."

But that's probably blasphemy so it's okay.

5

Well it is all ingrained in us and hard to get rid of, but then why would one. It doesn't hurt anyone if you cross yourself or do some other things that you have been doing for years. No use of beating yourself up about it. It is all old habit. Welcome to this site.

5

When you attend church services, simply pretend you are a cultural anthropologist observing the religious rites of a primitive tribe.

"Pretend"?

But I thought that was an accurate description! 😁

4

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.

I've never had an ounce of doubt.
Even as a child, I always knew all gods were myths and all religion is an evil scam.

4

Welcome to Agnostic! Glad you came out of the closet, and had a good encounter with your children.

4

Result of lifetime indoctrination and brainwashing.

3

Welcome to our world of Reality, Reasoning, Logic ad Free-Thinking in its truest sense.
To the Faithfools of this world we are Heathens, Pagans, etc, etc, and the Blackest of the Black Sheep of Human kind, so join in, have as many laughs as you can handle, relax and enjoy the friendship that exudes around here and remember, we do NOT have to get up early EVERY Sunday just to go to church, instead we can sleep in as long as we like and have no qualms about it either.
Oh, and another HUGE plus is that we do NOT have pay tithes.

3

I still love singing the old church hymns. I think it's like when I was an older kid I still enjoyed the Santa Claus songs at Christmas because they put me back in touch with my past.

I enjoy changing the lyrics of Hymns , etc, and singing them as loud as possible, it's way more fun that way.

@Triphid Yeah, now I can enjoy the blasphemous parodies of them too, but that's a different type of enjoyment for me.

3

Welcome, wordlady.

I also have leftovers. I don't see any problem with adult play-acting. It can be fun.

skado Level 9 Sep 1, 2020
2

Because rituals are comforting, that's how they become rituals. There are lots of things we do to comfort ourselves when stressed, toe tapping, finger fidgeting, hair twisting it's just that these are not myth based things like crossing ones self or mumbling praise jesus. It takes a concentrated effort to give up long term habits. Sometimes it's easier to swap it for something else.

Many years ago when I quit smoking I would catch myself looking for my cigs, I decided to reprogram myself about the oral addiction. Every time I wanted a cig I would say "pickles" and then go get a pickle to eat. I loved pickles and they have almost no calories so win win. As the cravings subsided it just became me saying "pickles" was enough to refocus on something else. Then finally after I beat the habit I found I wasn't even saying pickles anymore.

Religion is an emotional addiction, you can work to reprogram your comfort signals. Good luck!
Damn, now I need a pickle. 😀

Leelu Level 7 Sep 1, 2020

I may have to try this, along with my Chantix.

@Notlost I quit 31 years ago. I also chewed gum to help the oral fix. Wishing you much success in quitting.

2

Welcome!

I put out "good thoughts" to the universe regardless of its effectiveness, or the ability to gauge it in any meaningful way. Works for me.

:-----:

"I see a pattern where the randomness of human actions can be directed through probability for an overall cumulative and positive effect. All throughout our society there is a butterfly effect that we are most always oblivious to… I guess my message is to go boldly forth and increase the peace and love and know you are not alone. You may not always be aware of the others choosing to follow this same path as you, but they’re out there, and they’re making a difference.”

~ LanceThruster

[from Debbie Mitchell's book "Growing Up Godless" - Sterling Publishing Co., Inc.]

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Welcome, yes, sometimes i find myself singing hymns and changing the words. The song, Deep Peace, when i sing it, has life where Christ used to be. All Things Bright and Beautiful becomes more blatantly about maintaining an old fashioned status quo. It’s fun to update things as your understanding changes 😉

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Welcome

CMan Level 7 Sep 1, 2020

Thank you!

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I say what ever feels good do it. As humans we need happiness

2

I'm so happy for you, that your "coming out" was received well!

Yes, I also have some leftover habits from my Christian upbringing, even though that was a long time ago. I just accept it as normal and natural. I acknowledge these habits with mild amusement, and then go about my business.

Some sense of humor about the whole thing can really help!

I still haven't come out to my co-workers. Most of them are Guyanese and very Catholic. I'll even say stuff like "God bless you." It's easier than saying anything and I have no compunction about the white lie. They don't need to know. The people I love are the ones who count, and I don't give a hoot what my ex-husband thinks - heeheehee!

1

Speak aloud your thoughts, desires, fears etc is a known mechanism to organize and focus.
While inside our minds the thoughts are more concepts and feelings, but when you turn it into words you solidify them. So yes you can use a pray-like talk to talk to yourself and investigate your own thoughts.

I really like the way you phrased that! I don't have to be talking to some vague "other." It's me organizing my thoughts. And it makes sense! Many, many years ago I was able to take the lord's prayer or the serenity prayer and speak it as a guideline for our behavior and thoughts rather than asking an entity for help. Thanks!

@wordlady-63 A lot of religious behaviours are (now) well known mechanisms that really work, not due to the reasons that religions tell us.
If you know evolution you can guess that over thousands of years the religions that can build stabler communities, help people to focus etc would lead to better organized societies with more power to act and spread the religion. It is just in the last 100 or 200 years that we are studying and understand those behaviours.

@Pedrohbds I have just been starting to learn about the origins of religion, never questioned when I was younger that anyone but god had started the concept. I just finished reading "Heaven and Hell: A History of the Afterlife" by Bart D. Ehrman and it really opened my eyes and underlined how human the origins are. I knew that is a general way (humans wrote the bible and humans translated the bible, etc), but this took it to a whole new level, explaining how Socrates and Plato had a lot to do with our concepts of religion and heaven and hell. The more I learn, the more fascinated I am!

@wordlady-63 It is fascinating to understand how we as a species could start doing right things by trial and error but not understanding the reason behind it and atributting to a divinity

1

It's surprising how many people admit to being agnostic or at least questioning, when you are honest and come out yourself. I was surprised anyway, to find I had more people who thought like me than I would have imagined.

As far as praying or formulating your thoughts and plans outloud or on paper, I think of it more as a meditation and pep talk for myself, to inspire me to go forth and make it happen.

I think that some quiet reflection is good (with or without the hymns and such) to center yourself with what you can and can't do, and leave alone or to others the things you can't do. It's good to check in with yourself for your emotional / spiritual well-being.

1

Welcome aboard. Sounds like old habits that just haven't gone away. Nothing wrong with practicing rituals that give some sense of comfort as long as you remember what is reality and what isn't.

1

Welcome!
That's great there is no pretending between yourself and kids.
Myself I accept reality and my kids won't accept reality, they can't seem to let go of the comfort props.
I think it's fine to put your desires and gratitude out there or express it, its showing your grateful...
Well that's just my opinion anyway.
Hope you enjoy yourself here

Garf Level 7 Sep 1, 2020
1

I'd like to warn you now, like I warn everybody who is new. Don't look where you step. If you look where you stepped, don't touch it. If you touch it, don't taste it.

1

Welcome! Hope you find a lot of support, info, and comfort here. Although I can not say I had as much of indroctrination, or habits formed I am sure in time you will just abandon them. Or at least suspect you will. I am confident that time is what helps rid us of the habits and left over thoughts. I find listening to shows like AXP, Talk Heathen, Shannon Q, Seth Andrews and others, seeing and hearing about their journeys will let you know you re not alone. 🙂

1

Welcome. I don't think about it. I don't pray. If I go to a church or other religious event, I'll behave with respect and not disturb.

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Well hello there welcome to the site take a look around enjoy yourself.

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Welcome. Hope you find some community here. 🙂

1

I was raised catholic and even though I've been an atheist for many years I still say "jesus, mary, and joseph" when something bad happens. Welcome, the more the merrier.

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