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What are you thoughts on paying bills in a relationship. Should the man pay all the bills? Should the bills be split 50/50, or should the be based on income?

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mrveggieman187 6 Apr 9
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14 comments

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0

IMO three accounts are best with the household account determined by income.

2

In my last relationship, he made more than me and he was a carpenter/electrictian. He also did all the driving. In the twelve years we were together, he paid two thirds of the bills and we each paid our own personal bills. Whoever cooked, knew the other would clean and we both did laundry.

I did all the budgeting, grocery shopping, canning and preserving. He cut the grass, I planted the flowers. In other words, we played to each other's strengths. When we were first dating it was the unoffical rule that whoever did the invite, was the one paying for the date. That's only fair.

0

Before I lost my wife, all our funds went into the same account, Joan liked to pay, especially if the wait staff automatically handed the bill to me.

Now that I am dating again I pay most of the time, but I have one friend that will insist it is her turn to pay, she gets extra points. My dating at this time is all casual, no FWB.

0

I guess it just depends on the couple. My husband and I have a joint account and our paychecks are both deposited in it. We share the account, just like we share most everything else in our relationship.

3

I would say every situation is different.

1

I went for "OTHER".
If I was in a committed relationship, it is all one big pool. Money goes in, money goes out.
and yes, I have lost everything twice and in both cases I was the only one working. My thoughts on the matter remain unchanged though.

1

We combined the incomes and paid the bills. The money was not mine, or hers, it was ours.

0

In the perfect world, I'd live off the higher salary and put the lower salary into savings.

0

I guessing that you mean in a relationship advanced enough for cohabitation to be going on. I won't be paying the bills of anyone I don't live with, nor would I want them paying mine.

Deb57 Level 8 Apr 9, 2018
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It is a fluid situation, sometimes you carry more weight than your partner and vice versa

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Me, being a woman, makes the most money in my relationship. I pay about 2/3rd of our monthly bills, including the mortgage and a car payment. I have no problem with that. My long long time live in BF is on disability so is on a limited income.

1

We live in post feminist times with some of the lowest union representation in the last 100 years, among other factors, resulting in lower wages for full time workers. Two full time incomes are generally required to pay for a household so an even split only makes sense. Feminists and their allies fought for equality, which also includes an equal share of financial responsibility. I personally will not date a woman who is not career oriented and gainfully employed. In 2018, if you're not, you're a social parasite. I've learned from the mistake of dating unemployed, loser women before and it cost me dearly.

1

I'm going with percentage based on income. The reality is, as a pink collar worker, most men I date make more money than I do. Why should my contribution limit our lives?

I agree. Many years ago I was in a like-married relationship where we split everything 50/50. My partner made almost three times what I did with unlimited opportunities for overtime, which I didn't have; and consequently had a lot more money for spending and SAVING while I was "paycheck to paycheck." It created resentment on both sides. I'll never do that again.

I since learned and believe the fair thing to do is to decide ahead what is actually fair, comfortable and reasonable for both people. I would bet that 50/50 is not very often actually fair when it comes to paying household bills, groceries, travel, etc. and having money left over for spending and 401k saving.

0

If you are just living together a 50% split makes sense.

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