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So my fundy daughter has just told me I'm not allowed to post pictures of my grandson on social media, even to a facebook page that only has family as members. I was asked to remove all pictures already posted as well. This has nothing to do with perceived threats, or anything like that. It's because of the cult she joined when she married into it. Faith Apostolics. Yes. Jim Jones' cult.

Notlost 6 Apr 11
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19 comments

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0

She has that right, but there's a simple fix...Just change your privacy settings so that only you can see them.

0

Wow. My heart goes out to you. I’m so very sorry.

1

Yes, it's sad, but please follow her request.

I did. But there comes a point where I will not be emotionally blackmailed anymore, and she knows this. I will cut off contact completely. I have done it to friends, and family, and she knows this. That fucking cult has her firmly in their clutches. I won't make her choose. I will make the choice for her.

1

Nasty, using the kids as ammunition! Sorry for you!

2

Whatever did we do 30 years ago when we only had photo albums?
???

4

I sympathize with your frustration but alas you can only abide by her wishes with her child. Hopefully he will grow up and make better religious choices

1

Fundy? haven't heard that before... fundumentalist?

Yep. Common tongue here

Yes. Faith Apostolic (Jim Jones, founder)

Yes. Faith Apostolic (Jim Jones, founder)

2

What is the harm in respecting her wishes for privacy? I mean, cult aside, there are people who value their privacy, and that of their children, enough to NOT want to post pictures or have them posted on their behalf. Look at how many here have no pictures posted, when this is, at least at some level, a dating site.

I get being proud of your grandkids and wanting to show them off but, slip on your parent hat, add a dose of mild paranoia and ask yourself if it really is an unreasonable request. If you wouldn't, or mightn't, do the same were you that age in todays world (again, without the cult influence).

As for the cult thing... some paths have to be walked before people understand that those really are nails and broken glass they are walking through. Sometimes you are so enamored at the new attention you are getting, you don't feel the pain of your feet (life) being shredded. 😟

The pix were on a family-only private page. She jumped into this cult with both feet when she started dating the preacher's brother-in-law. That was 8 years ago.

@Notlost
Some don't understand tehcnology, and some of us do.

The reality is that no matter the privacy settings, if someone wants to break in, and they have the right knowledge... they WILL break in and get the information. I keep layers of password protections and I KNOW that it's just a road block for someone who really wants in.

Thus, again, I understand why someone would be reticent to having their kids pictures out there on the webs.

Then again, I am a realist and live in this life. Odds on no one wants to break in to your family's private web space and do anything whatsoever with the pics or with that information. It's safety is in your being just a bunch of folks who are just as famous as Sally and John Q Public.

Me? I am not too worried about pictures or information getting out there. Is there stuffs that could embarrass me? Sure, though my embarrassment was shot off in the military so it's highly unlikely. I CHOOSE not to be worried about the data that is out there and I CHOOSE not to work in a job that would need to worry about that kind of data being out there (though, in truth, if I were to work in a more public capacity, I'd still not be worried).

All of that said, I can understand why someone who is a little bit paranoid might want to keep the images of their kids safe. It's a personal choice. One that I may not fully agree with, or even understand, but one that I can choose to respect.

1

Fb has had security issues. So even if its in a private family account you still don't know for sure how safe the pics might be. When i saw you started the post with "My fundy daughter" I was anticipating an outrageous and potentially heartbreaking story about an indoctrinated loved one in as much trouble as thinking they should refuse medical attention (because god will heal them) or something as terrible. What she is requesting sounds like she is being a parent perhaps erring on the side of caution in protecting her child-thats not so crazy. I certainly wouldn't let it cause any kind of turbulence in your relationship with her. It would be more beneficial to have maintained your relationship with her through things like this that aren't such a big deal so if there ever are potentially harmful issues that come up in connection with her beliefs you will still be someone she respects trusts and may heed advice from...

2

so take them down. as far as if she wants pictures of her kid on the internet, thats her choice. unless its hurting him, she has every right not to want that. im not saying i agree, i have pics of my kiddos posted, but its still up to her. as far as the cult thing goes as a whole tho, watch that like a hawk. that could turn dangerous quick. im all for respecting a parents right to decide whats best for their kids until it becomes an issue of the kid being harmed, thats not cool. and even tho i say its her choice, im not saying its not a clear sign that it may turn south.

Byrd Level 7 Apr 12, 2018
2

Gosh...I am so sorry... that is sad and selfish! Out of respect for your child's wishes, I would remove the pictures, but I am not speaking for you. It is a tough spot to be in, wanting to be included with your grandson in the public arena and yet told, that you can't. Can you make them private for yourself, just to give you comfort? Best of luck, whatever way you take!

6

My immediate reaction is to worry about the fate of your grandson. Sorry if that sounds alarmist.

2

wow! hope she doesn't drink the kookaid because it'll get her nowhere

It is sad, some people need a savior!

Thats kind of an insensitive comment...

1

Didn't expect to be making fruitcake with that egg, did you?

3

Wow... and I thought my family was nuts. My sympathies.

2

From a non-religious perspective, it's still a good idea. Posting photos of children, with the ability of social media to access their personal data and addresses, is said to be unwise.

Won't make a difference... Unfortunately in this modern age, just about all of that kind of information is out there if you know where to look. Privacy is a dying concept, sadly.

My grandson's pictures were only on our private family page.

6

I thought that the cult died with Jones.

The survivors "reorganized" it, kind of like the LDS has a "Reorganized" branch that doesn't do bigamy. But it's still a cult of personality. Their preacher has so much control over their lives that he gets to make the decision on who they marry, when they marry, and when they have kids.

2

That's a bummer.

3

That's messed up. I'm sorry.

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