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The Fuckery of Many Churches

This post mostly discusses my personal experiences growing up in a non-denominational Christian church. Yep, that's right. I was a "tongues speaker" and Christian rock and alternative music listener. Some of that shit I still find entertaining, but overall, I'm glad I became an atheist because I hate the popularity contests and overall "fakeness" of it all. Plus I learned so much about religion in college that now I detest the church with a passion.

Saintlihood

Something that annoyed me most when I was a member of the Christian community was that people were ALWAYS in competition to see who was more Christian than everyone else. The more activities with the church you were apart of, the more holy you were. The louder you spoke in tongues or the more bible verses you memorized, the more other people thought you were saintly. Oh, and if you were friends with the pastor's kids, who were hella selective, your status went sky high.

Activities and Involvement with the Church

Speaking of activities, people kept asking me to not only be a member in the church but to also get involved with being in the church choir, fundraiser, or other shit I didn't feel like doing. They ignored the fact that all I wanted to do was to just go, listen to "the word of God", make meaningful friendships (I'm scoffing now), and go home. I didn't want to add extra responsibilities to my already busy life; I wanted to relax.

Finally Some Religious Freedom

Now that I left that mess, I am SO relieved that I don't have to do that shit anymore. I get to do whatever I want to do! I have a busy life, and since "God" said that on the sabbath, we rest, goddamn it I'm gonna fucking rest!

Friendship Fakeness and Mental Illness

Back to the friendship area part, those friendships were the most fake ever. I can recall at least 2 or 3 being true friends, but everyone else reeked of "fakeness". They didn't give a damn Monday-Saturday; Sunday and Wednesday night were the only days they acknowledged me. Outside of church, it was messed up. A lot of what I went through contributed to my anxiety and depression because I was so anxious that I wasn't participating enough, and the lack of friends at church made me feel horrible about myself.

It wasn't until I began going to college that I thought, "why am I voluntarily subjecting myself to this? I am literally, voluntarily attending a place where none of these people give a damn about me. How is this Christian?" I left immediately afterward. Then I learned that Christianity was nothing but bullshit. It's utter bullshit and I'm so glad that I'm out.

Realization and Finding Happiness

I have since identified as an Agnostic, but recently I have moved to a more Atheist point of view. Some incidents and things I have researched and observed have helped me realize that god is only an illusion. It is only a being created by man to control the masses. I'm lightly holding on to the agnostic part, but I have a feeling that perhaps I might softly detatch that part. There are still things that I cannot be certain on, and therein lies the reason why I still will keep the agnostic tag to my atheism.

Just felt like rattling off. Lol! I totally went dissertation mode on this. LMAO! I just wanted to get that off my chest though.

CatiValti23 6 Apr 15
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12 comments

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0

Lol! Dam I loved reading your post. You're someone I would like to chat with!

1

I was talking to an old Christian friend on the phone just tonight and I told him about this site. He can't believe that I'm now on an agnostic site. I told him maybe it's because I'm an agnostic atheist. His remark is that it sounds like I'm trying to "cover myself on both sides."
My friend means this as more of a Pascal's Wager type thing. He honestly says I'm gonna wake up someday and be in a place I don't want to be. It's no secret that he thinks I'm gonna wake up in hell. He doesn't understand that I don't believe you die and then you wake up. I also do not believe in hell. He's been taught this crap all his life and he knows it's true coz he has the book. Today I know that it's only another book.
If we talk politics he gets offline a bit because he talks Trump and the gang and holds them up in his mind to a transparency of the book of Revelation. Sometimes I want to laugh about this. It's all such a "no go" but you can't tell my friend that. Remember that he has this book that tells him of events yet to come.
It makes as much sense to me as Jesus and the Easter Bunny. I know they have to have something going together here. I have dreams where they are both waving at me. Jesus is holding the Easter Bunny and he is holding his basket. Yet, I wonder just what Nessie has to do with it? We can search for it and get an idea. It all might be written in some book.
Just imagine. You are born on some planet and find with study that your entire destiny from birth to death and beyond is already written in some book. You have no choices of your own really, and the best part comes after you die. It says so in the book.

I had so many friends like this, and because they kept triggering my anxiety, I cut them off. I swear it is unhealthy to try and force your way of thinking on people and thinking that it is the ultimate truth.

You had me laughing about Jesus and the Easter Bunny. Oh, and Nessie? I would think that Nessie would be his ride. Lol, what do you think?

@CatiValti23 Nessie could be the ride. When I throw in the Easter Bunny, Casper the Friendly Ghost, Nessie, and a few others it's because god and Jesus carry about that much weight with me.

0

Wow! It is so nice to read how I am not the only one who has had these experiences and/or thoughts. I was so fed up and I am so glad I don't deal with that bullshit anymore. I seriously feel like I wasted the first 27 years of my life as a Christian. Lol can I get those back?! Hahaha

1

Great to have you on the other side!

1

Sounds typically "Churchy" glad you got out and into a more reasonable viewpoint of life.

0

Sounds typically "Churchy" glad you got out and into a more reasonable viewpoint of life.

3

Love it!!! I like the way you think!! I've been an agonstic for years, but just now coming to the realization that most everything I was taught as a Pentecostal as a steaming pile of B.S.

Being Pentecostal kept me all messed up for many years. I'm so glad to be out of all that bullshit today. Gods are imaginary.

@DenoPenno WOW! I was convinced that there was something wrong with me. But, after reading some of these posts, it's refreshing to know there are others who share the same issues with religion.

@PhillipSEE What was wrong with you is called religious indoctrination.

2

Excellent post. We are all here to support each other as we recover from the damage religion caused. Welcome!

2

You are not alone. We have all experienced this in some form or othef. Wekcome home.

2

I was raised Greek Orthodox living in the south and going to a private baptist school. I have a ton of horror stories. What caught my attention was your comment about "talking in tongues". A neighbor I would hang out with was from a similar church. They talked in tongues and I found it odd that every day they would try to include me in their prayers. Granted, I was 11 at the time so I didn't know how to respond, therefore, I faked it. Which is what I think they all did but wouldn't admit too.

2

Wonderful post. I went to church as a kid, mom mad us go. I was sooooooooo not impressed on one Sunday morning I just refused to go and told my mom 'If church is so good for us why do you just drop us off at the front door?" LOL end of me being in church on Sunday mornings. It was a Methodist chruch, far cry from evangelical but the cliques were the same and Mon. to Sat. they all act like you don't matter.
Yeah, it's just the way of the people who claim to be Christian.

3

These are interesting observations you have made. I have perceived similar ones in a church I occasionally have to go to as part of my work. I stand there politely with my earphones in taking a good opportunity to observe the human beings around me.
I have seen how some at certain parts of the performance will begin what they call speaking in tongues. This is mostly a mixture of words from French, German, Norwegian, Dutch and Spanish. Otherwise it is all constructed of made up words, with the exception of a Portuguese woman, who funnily enough speaks Portuguese!
The lead God bothers tell us how wonderful things are in the world of God, and how the latest terrible thing to happen to a family of the congregation is all part of God’s plan, and medical science will be amazed at what God will do to save them, which will be followed of course by the obituaries of those who passed away during the week. I get to see more and more fiddling around on their mobile telephones. At least as an atheist I have the common decency to just stand there politely.
The one advantage of having to occasionally attend this evangelical church, is they are not telling me that I am a sinner, destined for hell as we all are. In Peterhead, there are quite a number of different denominations of Christianity all of whom it appears hate the other for believing in the same spaghetti monster slightly differently than they do !

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