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Does anyone else think it's weird when a dating profile says something along the lines of "I'm really into sports (or whatever) and would like my partner to be, too."?
I'm not meaning something like church activities or the like, but something that is more of a pastime or hobby.
Edited to add: I'm not talking about simply wanting to be able to do stuff together. There's things we all like to do.
Consider what kind of things are actually deal breakers if a prospective partner doesn't want to do it. Do they really have to? Are you willing to pass over every single person who doesn't? Or is it okay if they go fishing with you anyway because you'll go to the bookstore with them? Or can you maybe go do your thing while they go do theirs that day and then do a thing together the next day?

Two different ponderings on the matter that pop up when I see it:

1: Why would we want to further limit our choices by stating we want our partner to enjoy one specific thing?
I feel like it's part wanting a partner who can enjoy taking part in it (which plenty of us can do without having to be into it), and part preemptive strike against any "But we have on night." that can then be responded to with "Hey, you knew from the beginning I was really into _ , so..."

2: It usually is sports, and occasionally gaming, that I see mentioned.
I feel like overall people would think it a bit weird to see "I'm really into opera/ballet/quilting/noodling/woodworking and would like my partner to be, too".
Are we really so socially groomed that we think nothing of it to give sports or gaming a pass as an acceptable obsession, so much so that our partners must be an equal level of obsessed?

Maybe in the end, if one has such a requirement, they're not the type to get along with someone too different from themselves anyhow, but I feel like it can't help but lead to missed opportunities.

DuchessNyx 6 Apr 15

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I'm VERY picky and specific in the hobbies of prospective dates. If they can't join me in body surfing the waves, hiking, climbing cliffs, ballroom dancing and riding horses, then what's the point of dating them? I can do these things fine by myself, but just wanted a companion/side-kick.

@DuchessNyx YUP. I love to do those things all the time and if the person wasn't up for it, he can find a more typical female.

@DuchessNyx I'm sorry, but if you are fat, short, out of shape, eat junk food, lazy, like to golf and fish, never read, incurious, physically inactive, not willing to do all those things then I'd rather be single. I am perfectly happy single.


<--- Grog hate sports.


Wow. I think I love you. you've the most comprehensive, and insightful I've ever seen. thank you for the hope


I could easily put in my profile that I'd prefer a woman who is not into sports.

Is it really any different to wanting a sub?


Shared recreational activities are a bonding experience for couples.

That's why I want a man who shares my healthy lifestyle and also loves hiking.


I suspect this comes down to the amount of time sports and gaming usually take up, so if I were into sports (which I'm not, at all) I'd probably be absent from the relationship most weekends unless my significant other were also a sports fan and we could share that time together watching the (very boring) games. The same with video games: if I were totally into gaming (I can take it or leave it), I'd more likely want to spend time with someone who shared that interest because it means we'd be able to spend more time together. (Actually, I wouldn't be that interested in shared interests, because I like my alone time; but I'm pretending here that I'm a normal person who doesn't spend most of his time avoiding human interaction.)


I think those are questions that keep the lonely, alone. And if you find that one, hopefully the BO isn't in competition.


I have multiple varied interests and would be bored to tears discussing one subject all the time. I wonder how many replys I would get if I listed "Must be an astronomy enthusiast" or "I'm really interested in 1/35 scale WWII military models and dioramas and would prefer my partner to be also". Yup, I'd be single for life.


Shared interests are REALLY important.


I often see this on Dating profiles. Very specific Details about a potential partner.
I can't help interpret some of them this way (shown in Parenthesis).

  1. Love to Travel and looking for same (I am looking for a sugar daddy who likes to travel)
  2. I have three dogs that I adore (You better be thrilled when I get home and jump around and wag your tail and play fetch).
  3. Must be a man of God (NEXT!)
  4. Then there is my favorite laundry list of items from specific income, height, weight, workout regimen, do's, don't's, etc. (Either Untold Baggage, Extremely Picky or wants you to bring your resume of qualification and 3 references)

The most amusing lists I see on dating sites are those posted by obese, butt-ugly, often scraggly bearded men who specify that they want a hot, sexy, good-looking woman who is sexually aggressive and likes sex just as much as they do. It is even more amusing when they are old.

And half the time, they write "women" instead of "woman" because they are semi-literate.


Not necessarily, if the other person happens to like the same thing.


I think it’s good. I’d rather see a person know exactly what they want and have the confidence in themselves to go for it. If they find their options are limited they can reevaluate what’s most important to them so they can broaden their horizons. We’re all growing and learning and we should have the space to do so without being judged.

I agree.


Football, baseball, etc are Huge time sucks! I love football (Go Pats!) and don't want someone making me feel guilty about taking 3 hours to watch a game, or leaving me alone to go least not every time.

Go Pats!!!!!!


I've always been fascinated by women from other cultures.
I always assumed that I'd learn something from their interest, not find an intellectual mini me that can come along as my loyal sidekick.


Discriptive terms can be so subjective.


I see sports and it kind is a red flag to me of a narcissistic personality.

@DuchessNyx I do not either. I just know most people I have met that are sports nuts lean that way.


Well, if there are "missed opportunities", it's quite possible, they may also be "bullets dodged".
If someone is going to put that in their profile as a requirement for a potential partner, perhaps they've had partners in the past who were not amenable to that, and it caused problems for them.
It's reasonable for people to seek partners who share their interests.
Not everyone is open to things outside their usual activities.
It's also possible that someone who has zero interest in gaming or sports would want to know if the person they're considering is into those things, so they can move on from that possible selection.

@DuchessNyx People have lots of bizarre habits. That's just one of them.

Sports and gaming are often extremely time consuming.
Another lifetime ago I dated someone who was a gamer (during 486 days LOL), that was a PITA then, (didn't work out of course) and have watched gaming be a point of contention with SOs of all ages. One friend dumped her husband over it. Knew another whose father in his 70s was stuck on games. He got a pass because he was dying of lung cancer, but it did stress the family losing time with him.

@Qualia My ex-husband was a gamer. He was into "Magic the Gathering", and spent an awful lot of money on it. That caused more than one dispute over money. He played a lot of Madden, too. It got old AF. I have no problem with what anyone wants to do with their time, I just don't want any part of it.

@KKGator Ugh. I was an "Everquest" widow for a minute, until I made it clear it was going to become the most expensive gut wrenching game ever.


It's a way of winnowing out people that don't have the same interests. But at the same time, that's a bad thing: if you truly did find someone exactly like you, you wouldn't learn anything. It's the differences that make relationships good.


I don’t see ‘would like’ to mean ‘is required’. It’s only a plus.

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