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I made a mistake and am now being shamed for it, I went out with a couple of friends because it was the night of my senior prom, there was drinking and a lot of other things and sometime in the night someone slipped something into my drink, I blacked out and when I came back to my senses or as much sense as I could, I was at home with my father looking down at me telling me how much of an idiot I was I twisted my ankle and might have a slight concussion but am not allowed to go to the hospital for it bc I did this to myself, I made the mistake of going out for one last hurrah before I graduated and now I'm being shamed and shunned for it, what do I do? How do I deal with this?

Catalaya22 5 Apr 16

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40 comments (26 - 40)

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3

Congrats on graduating. What are your plans afterwards? I would have gone to the hospital-your father can not control you. At 18 you have right to medical care.

I'm going to a community college to get a degree in culinary then transferring to a four year college for creative writing, and thank you. I will once I find a way to a hospital

2

It may seem like a big deal now, but believe me, in 20 years you are going to laugh your ass off about it. Just grin and bare it, and congrats on your graduation...We have all done stupid shit as kids, learn and move on...

I disagree, its been about 20 for me and I am still pissed that someone thought it was perfectly ok to drug me. She was drugged and assauted against her will and that will never be something she laughs about 20 years down the road. Men seem to have a different attitude than women about this, what if she had become pregnant? And what if she were to seek an abortion? Never mind the emotional and physical trauma from that decision alone, add in the religious nutcases that would then criminalize her and let the guy off with a "boys will be boys" attitude and a good natured slap on the ass. She was lucky she didnt suffer the consequences of someone elses selfishness for their one gratification at her expense.

wow carry much anger with you? you should see someone about that...
also no where in that post did I see she was drugged and raped....think you need to check yourself before you go off on someone lady

2

Get your ankle seen to, Shamed ?? That problem is thiers, not yours.

2

@Catalaya22 I have been where you are at right now. I know it is very hard to be an adult today, but you must get out from under your family. If there is a Youth Services in Mount Vernon please call them. They can arrange for temporary housing. It can't be long until you graduate. If you can trust a school counselor ask them for help. There are a lot of people here who care about you and have been in your situation with a family of believers. If I can help you please message me.

Here are some resources in your area:

Mt. Vernon Housing Authority
619 Broadway Street
Mt. Vernon IL 62864
618-244-6275

National Runaway Safeline
Serving the Mount Vernon Area.
800-786-2929

Gateway Homeless Services
Open 24 Hours
St.Louis MO 63016
314-231-1515

Thank you so much for this, I actually graduate in a month which is really good, thank you for not judging me

@Catalaya22 Got your back! That Nomack is a real pisser, ain't he? Hell of a site for someone who thinks he walks on water! Be safe, trust someone and get help ASAP!

I will thank you!

@hemingwaykitten I've seen enough of his posts over the last day to know that I don't care to see anymore. Blocked. No f*cks given!!

2

Please get to an ER or community clinic soon as you can. There are people here who care about you and know of your family's past abuse. We are here for you!

I will try as soon as I can/ as soon as I can get transportation to an er thank you for your kindness

2

Just own up to it.

  1. Acknowledge what you did wrong
  2. Ask for forgiveness
  3. Ask what you can do to make it right
  4. State how you will use this as a learning experience. That a twisted ankle and a bump on the noggin are minor compared to what could have happened. That you will try to be much more careful in the future.
  5. Politely ask (if you think it is necessary) to see a doctor.

Unfortunately, from past posts I know her family is abusive regarding her sexuality and nonbelief. Would you be so kind as to give advice with this knowledge?

She is a great young person and tortured by her parents and siblings on a daily basis for being different. This infuriates me and I would like her to get other good advice aside from mine. Thank you.

@hemingwaykitten perspective is always important. I would still offer the same advice. If there truly is abuse, defiance and behaving irresponsibly is only going to escalate the problem...and don't give me that feminist bullshit about "that's blaming the victim" you weren't there and have no idea what is really going on. So don't jump to conclusions, she has a different perspective, the parents have their perspective, you have your perspective, I have my perspective. I offered advice on what I thought would HELP her situation, not make it worse. Now that being said she is free to ignore my advice and go with your advice...that should make you feel better.

2

Man you americans are self righteous . The kid is in a jam but calling the authorities .... PLEEEEASE

She has a history of being atheist and bisexual with an abusive hardcore Christian family. She is 18 and doesn't know which move to make. I know this from her past posts. Please give her good advice based on this knowledge, she is a bright young person being constantly belittled. Thank you.

2

Welcome to the club. I’m 52 and have blacked out many times. It happened just a few weeks ago with others in the same state of drunkenness. Don’t let it bother you, shake it off and move on. Wait, what? Do you know that someone roofied your drink? Were you raped? How did you get home? A visit to the hospital may be the best thing for your foot and maybe a drug test along with a rape kit.

Black out drinking is usually the sign of a problem. Pls. be aware.

Being roofied is one thing - drinking to the point of blacking out is another.

@RavenCT Thank you for your concern. It's only happened a handful of times in my life. I have a very low tolerance for alcohol. But, it has happened.

I don't think I was raped and I'm vaguely sure that a friend dropped me off at home

1

Ignore the criticizism, virtually everyone does something similar.

1

I've known adults who left a drink unattendended for a moment and someoen spiked it when their backi was turned. You are a victim.

Your dad is beign unreasonable, not to mention irresponsible about getting your injuries checked out. If you brok a leg, woudl he not take you in because you "did it to yourself?"

1

Figure about a month's or less worth of contriteness.

cava Level 7 Apr 16, 2018

WHY should this person be contrite? She was the victim of a crime.
Her father is making it worse by shaming her for it.
He's the one who should be contrite for being such an asshole.

0

@Catalaya22 @misstuffy - This is the latest I found on the issue of 'drug detecting devices'. The are innovative, but aren't here yet:

[efficientgov.com]

Yeah see I wasnt sure if they were on the market yet or not but I do know the nail polish was developed.

0

Did you asked us before you went out what may go wrong? Cant find your post with your question... I reckon you knew all your answers then. Not trying to be Rude or Evil but you want us to look at you as a child now when your acting as a grown up backfired at you in your face. Are you showing any remorse for your actions... not to us... we are not your keepers... remorse to your Father. Was he on your mind when you went out? You can't switch back and forth child/adult/child when you screw up. Life do not function like that.

I went out to my FIRST ever party and was given something that could've actually hurt me, I'm not switching from child to adult I'm asking for advice, my father threw things at my while I withered on the couch bc I felt like my entire being was being torn apart, I wasn't trying to act like an adult, I was trying to hang out with friends that I probably will not see after I graduate, I wasn't asking you to be my keeper, I know completely where I screwed up and yes I am paying for my mistakes I do not regret saying goodbye to my classmates with one final hurrah which again just happened to be my first ever hurrah, yes my father was on my mind which is why I was dressed modestly and I only took drinks from people I knew and knew (at least thought I knew) I could trust, I know very well how life functions bc I have been living the life that my mother was supposed to live the moment she had my youngest sister and decided that parenting just wasn't for her so plz if you don't have any helpful advice on the situation don't shame me bc I'm getting enough of that as it is

@Catalaya22 you need to talk to your father, I have 2 daughters they know they can tell me everything and I always will be there for them. We have our rough moments as being human will provide but they can tell me anything because always will be my little girls. You and your father need to talk. I am not trying to shame you or taking your father side. I don't know if your father carry pain for your mother and reflected it on you. Time to talk. Remember your father knows something worst could had happen and you always going to be vulnerable so time to talk is now. Mend the fences while you can. Regardless who is wrong or right. I have never used the word shame in conversation with any blood of mine. Strange word to my lips...

@GipsyOfNewSpain I do not think her father is Anything like you.......please stop acting as if she can rely on him in any way....refusing to let her seek medical attention is not only cruel but could be criminal!

@AnneWimsey honesty, I only know her side as she puts it and been father of 2 daughters they are under my protection until they die or I die. I don't know his side so I've been giving him benefit of the doubt. Because I don't put much stake on one siders for the obvious. I had seen men (husbands, fathers) been made a monster for the sake of sympathy and future actions painted a different persona and not a monster. We can go back and ask where is the mother on this. All I know is her piece as presented. I am hard to be manipulated without all the facts.

0

Tell them to take a valium

0

The fuck is wrong with your dad? Go anyway. Get a friend to drive you there. Concussions aren't something to blow off.

I wish I could but I can barely find half of my friends which isn't saying much considering I have maybe 6 close friends, but the other half is ignoring me bc of an incident that happened earlier last week

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