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I made a mistake and am now being shamed for it, I went out with a couple of friends because it was the night of my senior prom, there was drinking and a lot of other things and sometime in the night someone slipped something into my drink, I blacked out and when I came back to my senses or as much sense as I could, I was at home with my father looking down at me telling me how much of an idiot I was I twisted my ankle and might have a slight concussion but am not allowed to go to the hospital for it bc I did this to myself, I made the mistake of going out for one last hurrah before I graduated and now I'm being shamed and shunned for it, what do I do? How do I deal with this?

Catalaya22 5 Apr 16

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Um, this is just my opinion, but...

  1. YOU ARE A VICTIM! You need help, not punishment. You did not voluntarily experiment with drugs, someone slipped you a "mickey," as they say. A loving and caring father would have maybe growled at you for a lack of vigilance, but then would have had you seen immediately. You blacked out? So without going into the TMI zone, people do this for a reason so you should be thoroughly examined.
  2. You are legally an adult and if you're on the family medical insurance, you don't need dad's permission. In fact, privacy laws protect you FROM dad (and mom). So either set an appointment or just go to the emergency room so you can be seen. Your health and safety are paramount here, not what your dad thinks you did wrong.

I hope this is helpful.

This. Just do it! Even a "slight concussion" needs to be evaluated to make sure it isn't more than just a slight concussion. The twisted ankle needs an x-ray to ensure that it isn't broken. This is YOUR body and you have to live in it the rest of your life, so take care of it!


OK, now I'm going to shame your dad. Not allowing you to go to the hospital for a possible concussin because you did this yourself is criminal. That said, high schoolers out drinking is always a mistake, but I should talk, I was one myself who did that. The other, much bigger criminal act was by the one who slipped something into your drink. I hope you are OK.

godef Level 7 Apr 16, 2018


My dad is my best bet when it comes to parents but I understand what you're saying I will try my best to get to some kind of doctor, I've already started saving up for when I do move thank you for your advice


What on earth do you think was a mistake here? Celebrating senior prom? Drinking? Do you think all your friends were also making mistakes then. I don't think so. Not sure what the drinking age is where you are but here 18 is old enough to vote, to marry, to die for your country to buy booze and certainly to drink it. And if you had drank too much and passed out from over indulgence then you wouldn't be the first or last to test your limits. But it doesn't sound like that's what happened. If you're drink was spiked that's not your fault. Yeah sure there's some valid advice out there to be aware of the risks, to keep an eye on your drink and various tips to deter and detect those who'd take advantage. However whether you did all of that or not, it's still not your fault. Hospital first, police next and if your dad want's to obstruct justice ask him why he's on the side of the rapists.

Your trying to shift responsibility while insulting those who obviously cared enough to raise her.

@Nomack I have read this thread with growing disbelief...this gal is distraught and already realizes she used poor judgement. You, however, are a cold, nasty, punitive person....I am totally disgusted & appalled by your self-righteous BS! Nothing bad ever has, or ever will happen to you because only bad people get troubles, right? Oh, evangelical troll!!!!


You did nothing wrong. You are a victim! You can call 1800-799-7233 (National Domestic Violence Hotline) and see if they can help you. I worked in a domestic violence shelter, and this kind of thing happens more than I would like to admit. I agree with the consensus that you need to seek medical help, but it sounds like you may need help beyond that.


I'm not sure what you mean by "shunned." Are you kicked out of the family or grounded?

I see that you are 18, so here are my suggestions.

First, you take your adult self to the doctor if you need medical attention.

Next, if your dad is always that mean, you start saving your money and move out.

Third, try to be more careful when you are drinking. Keep your eye on your drink at all times. Know when enough is enough so you don't black out and get hurt.

Shamed is a more appropriate term and one I thought I used, I would if I had a way to the doctor's office, I have already started saving, and I had barely had anything to drink before something was slipped into my drink, I don't remember anything after that though but thank you for your advice


P.S. THere is a new fingernail polish developed that all you have to do is dip your finger in your drink and it will change color if there are drugs in the drink. I don't know if this is out on the market yet but I know I got roofied and if they had had this I would have been wearing it to be sure. Maybe look into availability for future outings. Also you are one of our own, we will always support you.

That would be brilliant. It would be easy to paint something you keep on a keychain or have tiny test strips, too. Working in the bar business, I am all for doing what can be done to keep my customers safe and happy.

Do you know what the brand of nail polish is? I'm sorry you had to go through that and thank you, not everyone sees it that way, some people see it as it being my fault for going out and putting myself in the situation which admittedly it is but I can't go through life not trusting anyone bc that wouldn't be life that would be prison and I've just escaped my own form of prison when I moved out of my mother's home, I do not want to have to shove myself into another one

@Catalaya22 I wish I did, I can't remember if I saw this online or tv but it was a news type show. I found it fascinating and I don't know if they have it marketed yet but I do think it is a brilliant idea and wish they had it when I was young and got slipped a roofie. It is not your fault for wanting to enjoy life! Not ever!!! The fault lies with those who drugged you so they could take advantage of you. As a society we need to stop blaming women for what others do to us! You dint go out that night saying to yourself "Im gonna get drugged and assaulted tonight, oh well." That didnt even enter your mind and why would it? It isnt a normal happenstance.

@Catalaya22 It is not your fault that some lowlife decided to poison your drink.


You ARE allowed, by law, to seek medical assistance. If you do go to the ER, ask for an exam to determine if you were sexually assaulted. If you were drugged, you are the victim of a crime. You DID NOT "do this to yourself".
Your father cannot prevent you from getting medical attention.
If you're old enough, get away from these people.

Absolutely this. You need to get tested You very well may have been sexually assaulted and if so, you may be pregnant.


Great answers here. You have nothing to be ashamed of

@Nomack wow. She went out drinking and partying after her Senior Prom. Oh the horrors. Get out of here with that shit.

@Rudy1962 What shit?

I went out to my FIRST party after my FIRST ever dance, I didn't expect anything to happen, I was trying to be careful and I only took drinks from people I knew, well at first I did at least I honestly don't remember if I took them from anyone else

@Catalaya22 you went out partying after your Senior Prom and was having some drinks, like most teenagers do. Again, you didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't your fault someone spiked your drink. There are always going to be some judgemental people who probably have done the same thing as you....But somehow get on some false moral kick about it.

@Nomack Somebody spiked her drink. Her friends took care of her AFTER SOMEONE SPIKED HER DRINK. Nothing was her fault.



I agree with IAMGROOT, you were the victim, since when is it not OK for a female to celebrate and expect not to be assauted? The shame is on the ones who did this to you and the ones who would deny you care. At the very least Id say a rape kit is in order BUT they have a backlog of those sitting on shelves unprocessed years down the road. We live in a corrupt society. You have my sincerest sympathies but you have nothing to be ashamed of. Hold your head high!


Ok, you're well young enough to be my daughter. I might be upset depending on who you were hanging out with but you're still a baby in my eyes and going to be subjected to the world.
I would've taken you to the ER to make sure you're ok. Concussions are no joke.

It takes no time at all to "dose" a drink. It happened to me once, thankfully didn't hit my head but it messed my night up.
Please be careful and take this as a lesson of caution. I'm sorry you're having salt added to your wounds by those who should be watching out for your well being. 😟

Thank you


Go to the hospital.


I think it would be wise to seek the opinion of a medical professional. If you have a concussion there are protocols you should follow while your brain is big one is no screen time. :-/

Also, don't listen to the jackass saying it's your fault. This happens to people who are 18, 28, and 58. You can't control other peoples actions. You could have been drugged drinking a soda. Take care of you...


Sounds like an abusive parent to me. If you need medical attention and are refused it by a parent I'm pretty sure that's illegal. As for the guilt trip...typical adult hypocrisy. I suppose your dad never made a mistake??

As a teen, my religious mother always accused me of having sex with somebody's daughter. I graduated from High School still a virgin. However, I later discovered good ole Holy one used to be a prostitute. Didn't judge her, but What The Fudge??


I don't know you, or if this is accurate, but I will take your word for it. When you have the opportunity to get a decent job, do it. Save money, and get the hell out. I'm sorry, but your father is an asshole.

I wouldn't say he's an asshole, he grew up in a different time/ place/ etc, he wanted me to be aware of consequences but he doesn't know how to properly show me and he is a bit emotionally disconnected

@Catalaya22 If you say so lol


It's not your fault. your father is being a fool as you can crash your car badly and it be a mistake you made but it doesn't mean you don't go to hospital ffs. go to the doctors if you don't feel right my love. slip your dad a Micky in his coffee and tell him it's his fault.


Get yourself to an ER, stat.


We are here for you. You did not do anything wrong.

Not all of us are responsible at this age. You live and you learn. You grow into yourself.

@Wildgreens Agreed, quite simply this is serious, she should seek all the professional help she can, and I can't believe her father is against an investigation into possible drugging and blank memory getting home.


Someone once being funny put hot pepper juice on the brim my glass when I was at a bar. It was someone I knew and I can tolerate very spicy. Let's just say he can still walk well with a slight limp these days. Call crisis report it, do not be an unrepresented victim.

She has a history of being atheist and bisexual with an abusive hardcore Christian family. She is 18 and doesn't know which move to make. I know this from her past posts. Please give her good advice based on this knowledge, she is a bright young person being constantly belittled. Thank you.


Until you wake up in the middle of a corn field alone, unable to see over the stalks with half a keg of warm beer you have to return, hung over So bad you could be blindfolded with dental floss, you've done nothin serious.

Oh my gosh mate. What mate lets this happen to a mate. 😮


Your father's behavior is not unusual but still cruel. You probably shouldn't have been drinking, but it ultimately wasn't your fault that someone drugged you. You didn't consent to take the drugs. It is unclear whether your family would understand this, but they should be both punishing AND supporting you. You got yourself into a very dangerous situation, and in college it will be even easier to lose track of things at a party. Next time, there may be no one to bail you out. Your family is probably afraid that something terrible could happen to you if they aren't there to help. Here are a few suggestions:

  1. When you go out with the intent to drink, make sure you have VERY trustworthy people around you who will protect you, if you cannot stay home to drink.
  2. Guard your drinks carefully and never leave them out in the open.
  3. Drink in moderation. Getting tipsy is fun, but severe intoxication can lead to some very dangerous circumstances. As drinking becomes more familiar, you will learn what your limits are.
  4. If you can, talk to the nurse at your school before you graduate. She may be able to help with your injuries. It's not okay that you aren't allowed to go to the hospital, but at least with help you might be able to take care of your wounds.
  5. Let your family know that you understand they are afraid for you. Let them know you have learned from your experience. Make sure they know you will be careful in the future. I cannot say what their reaction will be, but it's the most reasonable thing to say to them.

I hope this helps. Good luck with the rest of your senior year and I hope you are able to maneuver through college with a good head on your shoulders!


i am so sorry that happened to you. You did nothing wrong. Take care of yourself.

@Nomack FFS, she's a teenager. They often make poor or not well thought out decisions. Her prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed and won't be until she is at least 25. Since the prefrontal cortex is responsible for planning complex cognitive behavior, personality expression, decision making, and moderating social behavior, it isn't any wonder why or how it happened. Pretty sure you made mistakes in the past and continue to make them even now. Have a little empathy.

@AdorkableMe How is telling someone to be responsible not showing empathy. When in trouble you don't post on social media you do what needs to be done.

@Nomack Again, she's a teenager and she's asking for advice, not a lecture or condemnation. If you don't have any advice for the questions she is seeking, maybe you should skip this one.

@AdorkableMe Yes the advice was get "yourself" to the hospital Catalaya22 as you did to the party. If in real trouble act in a responsible adult manner and get help, not post on social media. I can't imagine her father who houses, feeds, clothes, and possibly pays for her internet connection is against an investigation into a unconscious teen who may have suffered immeasurably. The seriousness of the allegations scream police and medical testing. Don't post, call the police. Start with the friends you went with.

@Nomack Because you don't know half her story yet and are being a bully!

I "got" myself to a party by jumping in the back of my friend's car, a friend that is currently not around, I pay for my own food, clothes, bills, etc. I can't call the police if I don't remember most of what happened, I;m asking for advice about what I should do and can do at this point

@hemingwaykitten How is "Don't post call the police" being a bully. Catalaya22 needs to get medical attention and a police investigation going. Starting with her friends like you.

@hemingwaykitten I take exception as to bully as a verb means to force, how do you do that online. Also as a friend recognize the seriousness of her post.

@Nomack Holier than thou much? You have NO IDEA the shit she has been though with abusive parents.

@Nomack Last time I ran into a know-it-all as obnoxious as you I was talking to a believer.

@hemingwaykitten Forgive my ignorance what's a believer


Nobody can stop you from seeking medical help.


Not letting you get medical attention is Child Abuse within the meaning of the law! You also may have been raped, that's the usual reason things get slipped into drinks. Is there a guidance counselor in your school? Can you call your family doctor yourself? Is there a Hotline for abused women in your area, or a Planned Parenthood? Your father is an Idiot and trying to keep it quiet to save His ego! That is not love, and not acceptable in this situation At All, If you have no other options, this needs to be reported to the police!

I don't think I was raped, I don't remember any pain in that area, I have a guidance councelor at my school that I will see tomorrow and I don't think there's a hotline or planned parenthood around my area and I don't know if my dad is trying to save his ego or just trying to teach me a lesson in the most brutal way he can. Thank you for your advice tho.

@Catalaya22 Sexual assault doesn't have to be painful or violent. At the very least you need to discuss with a health professional and follow up with testing. Since you have no memory and suspect being drugged, it is a major possibility and concern.


Been there, done that. It could have been a lot worse. At least your friends had the sense to take you home. The ankle will heal but the memory will stay for a while for you to see others be not so fortunate with their outcome. It will be a great lesson that made you think about future endeavors and how to proceed. Be ready to help those who you meet later on and there will be many who feel the same way. Get up and get going.


Congrats on graduating. What are your plans afterwards? I would have gone to the hospital-your father can not control you. At 18 you have right to medical care.

I'm going to a community college to get a degree in culinary then transferring to a four year college for creative writing, and thank you. I will once I find a way to a hospital

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