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Now dear readers, I may need advice.

I cleaned and scrubbed the bathroom and kitchen. My place is spotless for the first time in a long time.

Yes, I maybe able to lure her back to my place, my date, but I'm struggling to change the bed sheets.

Normally a guy doesn't worry about that when there's no one to impress. We just get new new ones when the others disintegrate and spray with a healthy dose of fly-spray to keep those bedbugs under control. Water is a precious resource in OZ and you don't want to be doing any unnecessay washing for environmental reasons of cause.

Now back to the problem. These are elastic sort of sheets. As soon as I get one side of the bed done and try the other, the first side comes loose and jumps up It's like being caught in an endless-loop. You have to have 6 foot arms to make a bed or be an octopus.

Any suggestions welcome.

jules4169 6 Apr 17

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34 comments

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9

I seriously thought this was a joke...

I still think it is.

7

I hope that none of my future dates agree with you that there is no reason to change sheets without a woman to impress.

7

Get a bigger sheet

6

Try doing one corner then the opposite diagonal corner then the last two corners. If that doesn't work, you may need sheet straps that clip your sheets down underneath the mattress.

5

Put on opposite corners, make sure the elastic is well tucked Under the mattress, not just hooked over the side

5

You’re 60+ years old and you haven’t mastered fitted sheets? That’s the leap from agnosticism to atheism right there. Clearly there is no god. Come back the first time you try to fold those bastards.

Dear Chef, I hope in a future re-incarnation I will master the art of sheeting a bed.

5

When ask what super power I would chose, I’ve often said the ability to know which corner of the bed sheet I’m holding.

4

In Bed Bath and Beyond and WalMart they sell elastic straps with clips on each end. They are adjustible. You can clip the corners of the sheets around under the mattress and back to the sheet. This keeps the bottom sheet tight and smooth.

4

I can't wait to hear what happens when you have to fold the fitted sheet.

NEVER fold a fitted sheet...roll in a ball and place in back of closet until needed. Martha Stewart indeed has a video on how to fold them, but why would you do that to yourself?

4

Always keep a brand new, unused sheet in the closet. When you're ready to bring her home put it on before you go out. I prefer deep pocket sheets from Target (don't know if you have them there). Deep pockets stay on better as you are putting the sheets on. The ones I buy even have tags to tell you if it is the top or side. And brand new sheets feel exquisite!

Dear CopperPenny, us guys don't think that much into the future and besides my closet is full of unused camping gear. No room for anything else.

4

you could use it to get her to your house?!?!?!?! Plead helplessness--haha--just kidding. Reminds of a date I went on a couple of weeks ago--Him: Do you mind if we stop by my house on the way to dinner? I am having issues in the kitchen you might be able to give me some advice on. Me: Well,............I guess so,What kind of problem? Him: I just moved in and I need help organizing my cupboards and drawers. Me: You are kidding, right? Third and final date. If your sheets aren't the ones to fit these new really thick mattresses, no amount of gymnastics, cursing, or ritual is going to get them on.

That's what I'm thinking might be going on as well. I have one of those memory foam pads on top so I need to remember to get the deep pocket fitted sheets as well.

Dear Karenl, I would call that exploitation of us male kind. Flagrant abuse of males to get them to solve your kitchen problems. Oops I think I got a gas leak in my kitchen. Are you any good with a spanner?

3

This sounds like a tongue in cheek rant..... hahaha
I refuse to take this as a serious plea for help....

3

Get her drunk enough to fall asleep on the couch, she'll think it's romantic if you have worn her out first !!! 😉

3

That's easy compared to putting a comforter cover on a comforter. Those are good evidence for the Devil.

3

Oy! Fly spray. That is gnarly. Start top right and work around to bottom right, bottom left then end with top left. Or maybe a blanket on the ground?

Dear Gatekeeper, you heard about a flea circus? Well I'm trying to personally train these little buggers for a bed bug circus. Drop into my boudoir and view the progress.

@jules4169 Uh huh. You just want me to make your bed for you. I know your kind. But, considering you are below the equator, you may have better luck starting at top left, moving to bottom left, bottom right then finishing up with top right.

2

Go to her place 🙂

2

safety pins?

2

Never had that problem with fitted sheets my brother. Good luck on your dating her...lol. whatever happens, you made an improvement .

2

Sheet straps. You attach them to hold the corners on.
Sounds like your fitted sheet might not be large enough for your mattress.

2

Dear readers thanks for your helpful advice. The diagonal method is definitely the way to go. Bluetack and even SuperGlue definitely don't work.

2

You have bedbugs? Ew. I would buy the right sized sheets.

2

I just got up this morning,and having my first cup of coffee. Thinking now addicting this is becoming, checking out his site and the people here and all the commits. Ive got to slow down, It is nice for me, not to have the trouble with my sheets that you are having. also i'm glad that I have plenty of waterand no bedbugs to worry about. Anyway I noticed most everyone gave you good advice on your sheet problem and that's good. Hope you have a good day.

Lovin' that banjo.

2

ISame thing here. I gave up on fitted sheets. I've tried safety pins as a quick fix. Those are dangerous. If you turn around in bed and it dislodges, the pin could fly off, landing, pin side out, anywhere.

What I do is get some comforters that are larger than the mattress, and layer them on it. When I know no one will be coming by, I save time by just sleeping on the mattress alone.

Now, the obvious question is this: if you live in Oz, why not just have the Wizard fix it? 😉

2

Absolutely nothing wrong with using two flat sheets, one tucked under the mattress and one over. Sheets are made with a depth of mattress in mind, and yours may be too thick for the sheet. I know, that's aggravating.

2

That's easy.
If you own a needle, thread, and piece of elastic (you can borrow both from a woman, or buy one of those tiny sewing travel kits they sell at most stores) you can add a loop to one or more of the sheet corners, to anchor it while pulling the sheet to fit over the other corners.

An easier solution, If you can find them; there are sheet straps you can clip onto the sheet corners to anchor it under the mattress.

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