Guys, I'd love to hear what your biggest challenge is when it comes to meeting, and connecting with, women.
Sometimes, time & place. As a construction worker, I really don't spend much of my day interacting with women. As non church goer, I don't have that social outlet. As an old crank, I don't get far with small town conversation.
But mostly....it's a mood thing. When I'm occupied, or on a mission, or have an agenda, or even feeling down, it seems women are popping up in numbers, and seemingly happy!
When I'm clean, dressed up, feeling smart, looking for conversation// connection all I find is: Chain smokers, Surly Women.....or Dudes.
Fear of rejection, I'm quite sensitive. At times my, usually, confident self image ends up feeling suspect (not sure that's the right word i'm looking for) or shakey when I'm interested in what I feel is a very attractive woman. A feeling of I'm not in the same league as her. Sifting through all the potential mates for, not only true authenticity but to disirably find that quality paired with many of my shared interests, ideologies/beliefs and motivations et al is daunting. I'm not looking for perfection 'cause I sure as hell ain't! I fear settling for less than I desire or deserve because that's what I did in my first (probably only) marriage. I married a dud though she had good nurturing qualities. Hence, I think it would be an interesting research study relative to humans vs Animals and how we select mates for procreation versus how love plays into our relationships with our mates. I tend to think and believe that there, among homosapiens, exists an innate drive to seek the best (like the animal kingdom and all the nature shows, shout out to Marlon Perkins, whom stayed safely in the helicopter while Jim wrestled the alligator) suitor for offspring which ultimately, yet unfortunately, seems to supersede emotional love. Not discrediting those sob's (wink wink) that get lucky and hit the bullseye with the first dart. I believe it's possible but like the one mother said in the movie Parenthood "the odds aren't good." #buylotsofdarts
A preference for "normal guys." Unrealistic expectations regarding personal hygiene, financial stability, and sobriety.
I've met so many women who are counter to the idea that "women talk about their emotions, men don't." I don't think the number of women who have difficulty being vulnerable is any less than the men with the same issue. What surprises me is the lack of decline in the birthrate. I guess people are having sex and throwing out any idea of having a deep emotional connection. (Can you tell I haven't had much luck in the dating "game"?)
Honestly, it's a lack of time. Between Theatre, Karaoke, an active social life, and work, plus the one day each week I only get out of bed if I feel like it (my day of rest), I don't have a lot of time left over to meet new people. But I give it my best shot.
I am not concern about lady's opinion but if she'll like me. Reason is simple, I am too picky..I observe too many details.. I mean, in the good sense.. So, if she has good modals, speaks clear, clean. Etc.. She'll be fine..
Meeting and connecting with women has always been pretty easy for me. I have several women friends and enjoy those friendships very much. A connection beyond friendship, not so easy. lt says more about me than them.
Lack of mutual interests.
When I stop and think, I meet many more women than I realise.
Even many single women, but there it ends. I share a common interest with some, but limited.
I can connect on a general level, get invitied for coffee, outings, recently a few women have asked if they can come and visit me. But this is all very general, no different to the guys I meet on the same level. 50% of the population is female so 50% of the people I interact with are female.
The lack of connection is definately lack of common interests and attitudes.
Some tend to leave me on "read", which I find rude. I understand if they don't want to talk, still bugs the hell out of me tho.
What does "leave me on read" mean?
My biggest challenge is finding the physical and mental type that I like, relationship wise. Many times, I have dated a woman who I find cannot actually handle a relationship due to earnest relationship-negating behavior such as constant talking, and it results in a breakup.
As far as the more casual stuff, keeping a sense of exclusive, healthy sexual contact is tough, because the more promiscuous women often behave and treat me the same way as the less impulsive ones. This messes with my judgement a bit.
Wow! So sad to read that so many of you fellows out there have had disastrous relationships with women. What ever happened to honesty, mental and emotional maturity in a relationship? It appears from your revealed experiences that there are too many selfish, jealous, emotionally disturbed women circulating out there whose only desire is to get revenge due to a hostile romance.
Fortunately, I have had very much success in maintaining friendships with men I've dated even after we decided, for one reason or another, to part ways. Maybe it's because I don't have the jealous gene in my brain nor the baggage that most women of my age have - needy immature children, noxious failed romances, nasty exes, et al.
Please try to remain available to that special woman who has her life and her priorities in order. We are out there. Try to keep your mind and heart open.
Marriage.
Weirdly, I have zero problem flirting with women. I work in education, which is a female dominated ( let me take a little side trip after typing dominated ...) I really think it is because I'm married. I drop a joke, wait for a vibe. if there is a vibe, she gets an email assault.
I work full time, and I'm taking on extra duties at work to try to rebuild the smoking hole that being the primary carer for four kids had left in my 'career'. I am still taking on a large proportion of the nightly and weekend childcare duties.
Basically, I've just got no bloody time!
The biggest thing if you like the girl then is very difficult in my case to think about what I want to tell her and get her attention in a deep interest so she may then continue taking, but I have tested many ways in which I just say how beautiful they are or starting by telling her how good she looks in her clothes and sometimes just by how good they smell, in this last one it resulted very good for me in order to start a conversation with a girl since I really love women's perfumes variety... and I keep some of them from my past relationships
Oh, GuillermeoBTE , you are a treasure. I wear perfume in the hope that men still use their nose and are enchanted with the scent, and because I like it. You made my day, dear. I am not here for dating , but the subject matter of this thread is very interesting to me. Over the eyars, one r two thing have always stood out for me: men who can keep silent and men who are confident and self aware. The sexiest part of a person is still their mind: intelligence makes an physical feature disappear into the background, But that's just me.
@Spinliesel I am glad to read that! You just made my day too, i am not here for dating either, I found this app very amazing, i get exited when i get replies and specially in a positive manner also to know that there are still people who can actually have interesting informatjon to share is just amazing. i love that the conversations in here are not short nor boring. Have a nice day!!!
I work in a mostly male profession and my schedule is.... Unique. Just meeting women that I don't already know is a challenge, and the odds of one of them connecting in such a way is slim to none. Dating sites are fine, but exhausting, and I don't have much luck with a noisy bar scene. Mostly I think I'm the challenge haha people make it work.
My biggest challenges are my irreligion (99% of women on matchdotcom reject an atheist out of hand), my location (a beautiful forested site on the river in lower Michigan, but far from cities), and my combination of age and desire for outdoor activity (I'm happy being a 62-y-o canoeist, but there are few women my "age" that want to go paddling or camping.) Beyond that, I have learned from past relationships, and I still study books such as "Handbook for the Boyfriend" from which I have learned a lot. Any compatible outdoorswomen out there, send me a note. I love this site, and only wish there were more people on it.
I'm hairy and live in the middle of nowhere.
@RoadGoddess
I wouldn't say no.