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How To Start Your Own Religion

[thoughtcatalog.com]

Dyl1983 8 Dec 24
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9 comments

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0

OK, let's have a go:-

  1. Devise a god/goddess who has interesting characteristecs, meaning people will talk about him/her, but no characteristecs AT ALL that can actually be tested.

  2. Write a book with back-story for your deity. Make sure there is much talk of 'virtue' (and it being praised and rewarded) and 'sin' (that must be condemned and punished by the deity). Do not, however, carefully define what is virtuous and what is sinful, so that your worshippers can simply 'cut and paste' their own prejudices onto the words and declare then to be the deity's own truth. In addition divide your holy book up into sections, sub-sections and sub-sub-sections, all of which are carefully numbered, so that it can be easily referenced.

  3. Claim that your holy book wasn't, in fact, written by you, but was the work of ancient schollars from the dark depths of time - at least 1000 years ago. Write the book in a style that supports this claim - lots of 'whereats', 'begats', etc. You might feel worried that potential worshippers will look into this story and see the falseness of it. Don't worry - if you can get the idiots hooked they won't question anything.

  4. Build into your faith a magical 'get out of moral jail free' card - praying for forgiveness is a good one - so your worshippers know that however much they act like complete cunts, they can 'do the thing', get forgiven, and then polish their haloes while pretending to be angels.

  5. Set up the source of your religious incone - tithes, etc - after all, there's no point starting a religion unless you're getting rich doing it.

  6. Claim yourself to be the true 'manifestation upon earth' of your god/goddess - and build that into your holy book. After all, you don't want any other bugger jumping in and claiming your idea.

  7. Dress in a MAGNIFICENT dress (regardless of gender) matched to a RIDICULOUS hat.

I think that does it.

0

Needs more - how to establish no tax status and avoid all taxes.
Add in a spice of how to bitch about being persecuted.

0

Gotta think of a good kinky icon the fillers can wear around their necks

2

Being that I'm a reasonably good creative writer, I would come up with the most outlandish, outrageous, ridiculous foundation I could dream up for my religion. I would use the preposterous foundations of Mormonism and Scientology as my guides, smoke a bunch of weed, do Tequila shots and let my imagination run wild.

I think designing my own religion would be a blast.

Go for it and share with us. 😆

Ask L Ron how that worked out.

1

I have to start one. As long as I'm God and Ruler Supreme on it, it's absolutely perfect for me... lol!!!

Can it be any other way

@Canndue, I guess not... lol!!!

0

Yea……just be a total dickhead and a lowlife scum.

4

Everybody creates their own religion in those terms, even the members of mainstream religions, since no two believers will have exactly the same view of their religion's meaning.

You ain’t lyin’

6

Wrong question. “How to Start a Religion that Fluorishes” should be your objective. For that you’ll need unfalsifiability, forced conversions, psychological/emotional intimidation and manipulation, demonization of otherness, shaming, rewards and threats in an unverifiable afterlife, repression, censorship, control of information….

7

L Ron Hubbard did a pretty good job with a phony religion. Actually they are all phony.

Not bad for an alcoholic science fiction writer.

@DenoPenno alcoholics have to be good manipulators to stay drunk and afford the booze.

I think that Joseph Smith did a pretty good job with Mormonism too, but the real matser faker has to have been St Paul.

@Fernapple Everyone today believes St. Paul but he had to admit he did not know if he was in or out of his body when he received his great teachings. This told the modern Christian that if he was dead he was instantly in Heaven.

@DenoPenno There is no proof that Saul of Tarsus even existed. The only evidence is the Pauline Epistles which were probably fabricated in the late 2nd century.

@barjoe He is a very fishy person, even if he did exist. He is a government agent, tasked with undermining a new political religious movement, he then claims to have a magical conversion, and starts telling everyone in the movement to do exactly what his former political masters would like. Who is he fooling. Its less believable than a Dan Brown plot.

@Fernapple much

@barjoe Actually, the authentic Pauline epistles (1st Thessalonians, Romans, Galatians, 1st and 2nd Corinthians, Philemon, Philippians) are considered to be the earliest Christian literature (all predating the 1st Gospel which is Mark), generally dated to the late 40’s to early 60’s CE. The remaining 6, which are definitely forgeries, come from the 2nd c. But even the early, authentic ones have been tampered with by later authors. This is the consensus opinion of mainstream scholarship anyway. On the other hand, a group of scholars known as the Dutch Radicals would say that there was no historical Paul, that he was the creation of the real power behind the throne, Marcion of Pontus, the true author of many of the Pauline epistles, and the founder of my personal favourite heresy, Marcionite Christianity (primarily because it was a more serious threat to the Roman Catholics than Gnosticism ever was). The deeper you dive, the murkier it gets. Yikes!

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