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different gender = different sexual preference? or not?
in this life I seem to be happiest in my female body as a hetero woman. if I imagine now to have been born in a male body instead, would my sexual preference remain the same, i.e. for men? or would I sexually be more attracted to women? I reckon i'd stay hetero & go for women - even in this life I prefer to look at the female body (without being sexually attracted to it) - being hetero seems quite ingrained in me.
what about you? would you swap your sexual preference together with your gender, or keep the same?

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walklightly 8 Apr 23

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I think sex (particularly hormones during brain development) can influence a person's sexuality, but obviously it's not black and white "all males are exclusively attracted to females, all females are exclusively attracted to males", not to mention intersex conditions which affect hormones. So I think if you were a different sex, it would probably have an effect on orientation, but whether it would be enough actually change it would probably vary between individuals.


The sex acts we are repulsed by, usually are the ones we secretly want to do..nobody is totally the sense that there are millions of straight people who enjoy gay sex, and millions of gays who enjoy straight sex....SEX IS SEX...


I'd be straight either as a male or a female, I find both men and women attractive, but im repulsed by anal sex, and if I was a women I might as well date a guy instead of dating a masculine girl with a strapon. Not that I have anything against gays and lesbians, its just that personaly I'm not turned on by same sex sex!

i feel very much the same - & appreciate that you could overrule all the pc-crap in favour of your own honest answer πŸ˜‰


There's a lot of literature that shows that gender and sexual orientation are unrelated. There are men who after corrective surgery prefer women, and some who prefer men. There are women who after corrective surgery prefer men and some who prefer women. There are some researchers who believe that (especially for women) sexual orientation is not as hard and fast as we have always believed. But then there are numerous cultures that think the idea of two genders is silly. Many of the Native American nations believed in five genders.

of course, everything you are pointing out is perfectly valid. for me this is just an idle game, imagining to be born a different biological gender. i didn't mean to touch the precarious issue of surgical gender change - on that i only have an opinion, nothing i would want to imagine.


Your option choices are confusing. Does option number 2 mean you would now be homo sexual, or does that apply to number one. I think one of the options should have had "to.remain heterosexual" added to it.
For my own opinion, I would say that since hormones (especially testosterone) play a major part in the orientation of growing bodies, (along with certain gene combinations - not solely X/Y) then the odds are that one would still prefer the opposite sex.
I am a rabid lover of women. Were I a woman I would probably be a rabid lover of men.

yes, in my case (being a hetero woman) option 2 would mean that i'd be homosexual. for me the question was mainly whether i'd change my sexual orientation as a man, so as to become more attracted to women, or whether i'd keep my sexual orientation & become homosexual. the former applies to me

@walklightly Myself likewise, I would think.


Sexaul orientation (preference) and gender identity ate two totally different things. However, neither one really actually changes. You can change you phusical gender, but your gender identity and sexual orientation will not change.

t is a bit confusing as children who don't fit the norm are taught to repress feelings and behaviors which dont' fit the norms. When they get past the pression, it only appears like they are changing, when in fact they are just beign more true to who they are.

It's true that sexual orientation and gender identity are separate, but my sexual orientation changed roughly 6 months after starting hormone replacement therapy. Prior to that, my sexual preference had been strictly women. The thought of being with a man would give me the heebie jeebies. Now, I am undoubtably bisexual, and very much into men. It is not terribly uncommon for trans people to switch their sexual preferences, in either direction.

@MollyBell I will be going ot a group on Sat. which is made up of mostly trans persons. As I am gay, not trans, myself, my education of trans persons is mostly book learning and education. I ws taught that hormone treatments don't change sexual orientation, but I'll brign the topic up this Saturday as trans persons are mor ein tune with their own realities and are more aware of what actually happens.

My book learning and education would say what I stated before, but your experience makes me wan to query to see if your perceptions are uniue, or if there are others that dont' fit wha tI have been taught.

One of my friends is intersex XXY and was first on male hormones for severl years and now is on female hormones, but she has always been attracted to women only. That seemed to confiim what I had been taught, which is ht egender(s) you are attracted should not change.

However, beign open minded, I'll inquire in the group about it. Such issues are difficult, because the person(s) going through it don't always have perspective to understand what is going on, so I often when studying human behavior science can get it wrong.


I am very male, but happily female. I prefer effeminate men. I also love the female form.

Men are sexy, but then you've got boobs... ((sigh))

it's interesting how similar i feel as you just described yourself. thank you for your outspoken answer.

@walklightly Always


I’ve always been a totally fabulous gay guy trapped in a woman’s ?

I’d have done anything to date John Barrowman, Jim Parsons....or Adam Lambert.... Hot damn...

I say that I am a lesbian trap in a mans body. Of course that allows me to enjoy what both of us can do with the women we are with.

ha, that's a mind-opener! i like that πŸ™‚

@jlynn37 Before seeing your response, I was going to say that my fiance who died in 2012 was a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Great combination!


This is a tough one. I've tried imagining switching bodies with other people, but have come to the conclusion if that happened I would be just like them and not know the feelings of the body I came from.

if you would only switch your body, you'd still be able to keep your own perceptions & sensations - if at all bearable.

@walklightly My body isn't much without my brain and the person I'm switching with has the same condition.


I'm good, as is.


Men and women are about 5% different genetically, about as much as man is different from a chimp. I've sometimes wondered what it would be like to be a woman. Since people enjoyed movies such as, "All of Me," "13 going on 30" and "Big," many others have, too. It isn't possible to know, and there is more to it than sexual preference. I believe women have sensations such as nursing a baby that man cannot feel or understand. I believe men have a less sensitive touch than women, which allows them to do dirty work than make women reluctant, more obvious men generally stronger and larger than women, which means our bodies feel different. I do not now all the subtile but important differences.

i suggest to understand my question as more personally inquisitive, if you will, as i don't fit into general categories myself, being less than a "typical" woman: i do not have the maternal streak, am taller than many men, have worked physically demanding jobs in my life, all without loosing a sensitivity that allows me to handle injured birds & paint or knit intricate works of art. for me it is less about genes & more about making use of the freedom of our individuality.

@walklightly My understanding of women is, at best, incomplete. That I do not understand a "typical" woman does not mean I understand one better who is "less than typical." I would like you to consider, are you a typical woman but an "atypical" person, rather than an atypical woman? I've known a few women who didn't have strong maternal feelings, but did not consider them "less woman." Many women become addicted to exercise, especially jogging. I think liking a physical job (farm or ranch work?) is perhaps unusual, but not IMO atypical. Being taller than many men does make you a little more than "typical." I suppose it reduces the pool of men who will ask you out, which is unfortunate if true. However, IMO it cannot make you less of a woman. As far as I can tell, you are a "typical woman, but my knowledge of you is terribly incomplete. Based on what I know, I cannot agree that you are "less than a 'typical' woman." Perhaps you are, but not for the reasons you claim. Although, I understand how those things can concern an introspective person.


You are still you no matter what body you switch to. If however you mean you were born and raised in a different body, then most likely you would still be hetero because the odds of that are so much higher. Sexual preference does not equate to gender. Most physical males are attracted to females, and a small percentage to other males. Sexuality, sexual preference and gender exists on a wide spectrum, and some people are gender fluid, a very few are asexual even. There are lots of new confusing labels people stick on themselves to validate who they are, which are all irrelevant really because we are all just human beings. We are all 99.9% genetically identical no matter what color or shape or kind of hair, or what klind of sex organs we have. People are people!

exactly! that is my observation as well: it is more likely for me to stay hetero, in which case i would - if my gender would change from woman to man - change my sexual preference from men to women. as to "just human beings", i think we are potentially (& genetically) much more than that. the 99.9% identical genes apply, as far as i know, to humans compared with apes. so there you have it: we're just animals πŸ˜€

@walklightly I said the opposite to that actually. YOUR sexual preference is in your brain not your genital organs. So an adult woman changing to a man's body will still desire men. A newborn is more likely to be hetero whether male or female. The 99.9% identical gene sequencing is between all humans on Earth. Humans compared to other great apes like chimpanzees is down to 95 to 96%. We are animals with great potential to do things other animals can not and many animals can do things we can not. Animals like elephants have been around over 60 million years but we have only been here about 300,000. Elephants can paint art pictures better than dolphins can, but just not as good as humans.


Have thought about this often and discussed it often with all different people.
If I woke up tomorrow female I would still be attracted to women.
I have been in touch with my inner woman and she confirmed she is lesbian.
I feel sorry for hetero women, the male body is repulsive.
Many of my female friends are at least bi curious and more so as they get older,
I think because older guys are even less attractive.
Chats years ago with my daughter I was just listening, but couldn't help but agree with all she said about being attracted to women and not being attracted to men.

well, that explains a lot. thank you for your insight which kind of aligns with my own experiences, coming from the other direction, but ending up on a similar train. do you reckon the repulsion for male-males might be not only about the physical appearance, but also about attitude, the classic machismo?

@walklightly I agree with Rugglesby but it is not the machismo that puts us off. More like we know how disgusting we are. Farts, hair and smells.

@walklightly hadnt thought re the machismo myself, I can;t get past the eeewie body bit. But my daughter and some of my young gay female friends have mentioned the attitude of guys, all guys are A'holes etc.Personally I have a huge problem with male attitude, is why I only have close female friends. Then again, my son and I are always told we are not "blokey blokes".

@273kelvin, i can fart; & don't look too closely at my nose hair πŸ˜€

I find a man's body very attractive. I am with an older man and am enjoying the "perks" of it.... It's also helping me explore and enjoy my own body.


If I were born a woman and all else remained the same I would be lesbian. if all else didnt remain the same I would be whatever the chemicals in my brain made me respond to sexually I guess.

jorj Level 8 Apr 23, 2018

I am so boringly traditional. Men and manliness do it for me. Hardworking decency, kindness and strength. Money is a turn off but someone willing to work with me to build something is an ideal. Physically I like men but of course appreciate how lovely some women look. As someone who looks rather alien to the female ideal I always slightly awkward with very beautiful women. Just a Lancashire lass, built for hardwork the ability to feed a family of 5 on a quid and a loving man by my side.

physically i consider myself far from the female ideal, but am, as you call it, "boringly traditional".
thank you for engaging in the topic, but my question would be: can you imagine to still be attracted to men if you were born a man yourself?

@walklightly Hmmm I struggle imagining what I'd look like as a brunette

@Amisja, LOL! ok, i got it πŸ™‚


I don't find men to be sexual objects at all. I have always had the idea that people who were bothered by same sex interaction were responding to unwanted sexual tension. Not having that sexual tension at all (which is odd, most people go through a 'questioning' phase, whether they admit it or not, but I never had that...maybe it will happen in my 60's...haha), so other than an uncommon social situation, I am not offended by men kissing men anymore than women kissing men or women kissing women. I think if I was a woman, I would like women. But then again, chemistry, social pressure, etc. Who knows?

thanks for your thoughtful response. i like to think that social pressure couldn't ever have an affect on my decisions - but then, i'm acceptably hetero, so who am i to know?

@walklightly I can only imagine the social pressure that being gay causes, other than my second hand information. I have seen it, heard about it, supported people through it, but haven't had to have it directed at I can only hope I wouldn't either.


I often think my gender is fluid to an extent. I sometimes forget I am female. I have dreams where I'm female or male, and neither feel wrong. I would still be attracted to who I am attracted to. I'm considered straight by a lot of people because I prefer males, however I have had females I want. I find the older I get and the more open my mind becomes, the less I care about anything like "gender" or "sexual preference"

thank you for taking the poll. yes, i agree, with age comes a kind of easing into an overall acceptance; the mind & heart (clarity & compassion) becoming more important probably.

@walklightly I do not believe who one is fundamentally changed if their gender would. If you were male I don't believe you'd be different at your very core. Though, I'm only stating my beliefs and they are not based in science, because there is no way to measure who one is at their foundation. I like to believe this, though, because I know many who have changed genders but their body and voice may change but they are still the same person underneath, maybe just happier

@LadyAlyxandrea, you're totally right; i don't think a gender change will incur a radical change of personality; i am just wondering whether the trait of being hetero or the tendency of being attracted to men will have the greater chance to survive in case of a different gender.


I think I'd still prefer the ladies, but that's just a guess, I can't ever know for sure!

no, we can't be sure, which is the beauty of the game - just an exercise in imagination πŸ™‚ thanks for contemplating it.


I don't know why woman fancy men over a woman. I mean look at me. the flip side is even though I'm not at all gay I would prefer brad pit say to some women I see.


Very handsome

shux thanx

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