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So I've begun another relationship with a very attractive & smart man. He comes from a religious family...his mom & dad are "saved & sanctified" lol. But he isn't. The topic of religion came up. Told him I'm a "nonbeliever". His reply was "we don't even have to talk about this". And we haven't. Everything has been going well...so far. What should I think about him just dropping the entire subject? Will it come up again? If we get more serious, how will his parents feel about me? We REALLY like each other. What should I do?

Afrikanqueen37 4 Apr 24
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14 comments

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2

Love can transcend but communications and boundaries must always be held at the front of the relationship as in any relationship to give it a fighting chance

Uncas Level 4 Apr 26, 2018

I will....thank you

2

Ride that train for as long as it works for you but when he starts talking about saving your soul then it is time to punch his ticket and get off that train.

I know that's right! Lol

2

I don't know the dynamics of the relationship but It most likely will come up again. If you feel like it's conversation to be had, then sit down and talk about with him. Communicate your concerns, and listen to his, it's better to have that understanding now than to wait until time and emotions are invested. But relationship between theists and non-believers can work, good luck I hope everything works out for you guys

Absolutely...and thank you

1

Hmmmm... Because this is such a sensitive subject, I would be curious as to why he or anyone could just blow it off. Politics, religion and money are pivotal in any type relationship, family, romantic, friends and business. Gotta know where any lines may be.

True...but I think he blew it off because he knows that kind of discussion could go wrong and he doesn't want that because he really likes me.

@Afrikanqueen37 I don't know how to respond to that. Only you will know which way to interpret. I do believe that ignoring that topic or any deep and personal subject for fear of losing the other, one risks loosing themselves. It's not fair to hide ones self. For things hidden always surface.

4

Anytime someone has told me "we don't need to talk about it" eventually it has become very clear that we did.

Very good point!

0

Don't talk about it.... Just take the win

2

The biggest consideration is if you want kids. That opens up the in-laws and extended family can of jesus worms, so you would both need to be solidly on the same side of this issue. I would continue to speak to it as part of the getting to know each other process. Kids, money, sex, and even politics.... these are the big ticket items that crash relationships when they aren't in line with each other. I hope you find what you are looking for. All the best!

Helga Level 4 Apr 24, 2018

As far as more kids....no on both parts. But we are doing exactly that. We are getting to know one another and I know the subject will come up again...

1

If I was already sleeping with him and I wanted to take him seriously, I would be very worried that he might just be using me for sex.
If he's close to his family...a religious one at that...he would be more inclined to choose a woman they would approve of..and premarital sex is a no-no with these "saved and sanctified" folks..(unless they're hypocrites, and in that case why would you want in-laws like that in the first place?)

If the magic?stick works for you, baby..if I were you, I would ride that donkey until it's time to put him down and keep it moving.

?????? True....true. I feel u. Thanx for keeping it real with me ✌

1

It's always good, though rarely accomplished, to establish clear expectations at the beginning of a relationship. It doesn't have to be deadly serious, but a few simple questions now will either put your mind at ease, or avoid trouble down the road. You seem to have some of those questions, and you probably should ask them sooner rather than later. Good luck! A new romance is always such a rush. ?

You're absolutely right and thank you....I will do just that

1

I've thought of several things I can say about this, but let's be honest, I don't really know either of you and have not real idea about what is going on. So, I'd see any advice I'd give as likely doing more harm than good. I'd suggest you rely mor ehevily on peopel who know you and hopefully him too than strangers on a discussion board.

True...thanx

1

I would just go with the flow and see what happens. keep your options open.

That is exactly what I'm going to do....thank you

@Afrikanqueen37 your welcome my love x

1

Gratz. A good man and/or a good woman are always worth the work it takes to connect. I would say, as others have, to not worry too much about it. You'll find out if he's a keeper whenever (and if ever) that conversation does come up though! 😛

Absolutely....thank you

2

A discussion NEEDS to be had. Nothing divides people like money and religion.

So true!!!

1

Does he expect you to become a believer and raise kids believing? Need to have talk now.

No he doesn't. He has a religious background but doesn't practice.

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