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Overcoming religious guilt:

#Masturbation
Petter 9 Aug 31
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11 comments

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1

Level 8

Jesus and Grandma masterbating from the clouds.? Too much ìncest in the Bible, worse than porn. Certainly Jesus loves himself, too much.

1

Level 7

A church song from my youth went:

All along on the road to the soul’s true abode
There’s an eye watching you;
Every step that you take this great eye is awake
There’s an eye watching you.

And it had a catchy tune!

We had new words to the song "nuts in May":-

I took her gathering nuts in May
Nuts in May, nuts in May,
Down by the old mill str...e...e...eam
Instead of gathering nuts in May,
I put her in the family way,
Down by the old stream....
"No, no, no
You can't have it tonight
Because the moon is shining bright,
Shining in the sky, high, high high.
Somebody is watching us,
Watching you and I..."
..
"So let's go round the corner
And have it on the sly"
2

Level 8

That's why they turn out the lights first! 😉

4

Level 8

There is nothing in the bible saying you can't masturbate.

"Thou shalt not spill thy seed upon the ground" ring any bells?

You need to check out Deuteronmy, or is it Leviticus, about "Spilling Seed" on the ground..

@Charlene I stand corrected. Forgot about that.

@Petter Those verses seem to be about pulling out rather than masturbation. The churches just expanded it's scope.
7

Level 8

"It’s okay not to feel guilty because you do not feel guilty". Alan Watts

8

Level 9

If Jesus is all caring, he will distract grandma.

You are a hero!
4

Level 7

I just assume my grandma shields her eyes. lol

5

Level 9

Imagine ideas that God is watching while you take a crap. This would be hardest for women I think.

Pooping for me is a Religious Experience..lol
3

Level 7

The religious dogma exist to make people feel guilty for who they are or what they feel against the imposed standards in which the church sets forth to control the population and bilk them out of their money and freedoms.

4

Level 7

Haha, I can remember being younger and wondering if my grandad could be looking down at me at those moments 😂

My grandfather would be trying to tell you how you could do it better. He was helpful that way, and yes, totally had no boundaries.

@HippieChick58 there’s ways to do it better? 😂

@antman I have no idea, not being male. However, I've seen some gadgets in the adult stores that made me wonder if Rosie Palmer and her 5 daughters weren't enough.

@HippieChick58 Rosie gets the job done and she’s always easy to find.

5

Level 8

They always be sure to repent and ask for forgiveness after the dirty deed is done!! All is forgiven!!! Hallelujah, praise the lord!!! 🤠

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