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I was in Walmart yesterday and a couple of old men were standing in the aisle gossiping. I walked by them and jocularly told them that they needed to move on and stop blocking the aisle. They took it in the jesting manner I said it, and both laughed. We exchanged a few more words and I started to move on. One of the men said good-bye to his friend and preceded me down the aisle.

Then, he turned to me and said, "Have a good day, young lady." I hate to be called "young lady" and replied, "I will be 70 next week; I am hardly a young lady." He said, "You look GOOD for your age." I also hate to be told I look good for my "age," but smiled and started to move on.

He said, "Guess my age." I told him that I didn't play that game. He said, "You wouldn't guess it anyway." Ok, that was fine with me. But nooooooooooooo . . . He was not finished.

He said, "Even at my age, though, I still play hard-ball. Do you play hard-ball?"

I considered for a moment that he might be asking me if I played baseball, but nah--it was a come on.

I replied, "I not only do NOT play hard-ball, but I don't play any kind of ball."

His interest immediately dissipated but as he walked away, he said again, "You DO look good for your age."

This guy had to be in his 70s, but there he was: still trying to pick up women based on how they look. To hell with their intelligence, education, interests, etc.: it is still all about sex.

I wish that I had said, "Yeah, I still play hard-ball, but only with the young men who hit on me."

The incident actually amused me more than offending me that a random old man in a store thought I would have sex with him.

And dammit, I can't even be pleasant without sometimes being judged for my looks and what a man hopes to be my sexuality.

And go ahead, misogynists: tell me how I am a man hater.

Gwendolyn2018 9 Oct 27
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8 comments

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0

I'm on a dating bit on another site and yes, photos are a must, but I hate objectifying women. Fine it's part of our nature, but I'm past mating age.

0

Consider yourself lucky to be in such a place things like this can happen.

@Gwendolyn2018 Sorry, but it's hard to judge another from one's own perspective. Too many of us men don't or cannot see a woman's perspective. I am constantly reminded how good we males have it compared to women. However, I have also heard the other side from women in that they met their future partner from places as you describe. I did start to read the reply to Diaco but stopped short. Remember, things do take on another perspective living on an island. There are few social opportunities outside the coffee houses.

@Gwendolyn2018 Again, communication is not an exact science. What one says (or writes) is often different from what another hears. Sorry, if my comments are boring. I do listen and I do learn but I also understand when a problem is mine and when it is not.

4

Slim pickin's in this town, plus so many around here are republicans.

I feel your pain. Same thing here, over run with repubs!

2

Just a curiosity, Do you play hard-ball?

Diaco Level 7 Oct 27, 2022

@Gwendolyn2018 IDK really 😀 he asked, seems to be a thing!

6

That's awesome, and great answer. I usually get snarky with them..

4

Been there so many times as well! I truly am sick to death of men of any age thinking about sex with me solely because of my looks! I mostly ignore them anymore unless I am having a bad day, then they get my response and it’s usually not nice! 😉

@Gwendolyn2018 I guess a lot of men think if you’re friendly it means you want sex! 😳 I can’t imagine why they think this way!! It’s infuriating!!

2

You are who you are. As long as you are happy with who you are then who cares what anyone else thinks. Just be the best you that you can be. 🤗

Betty Level 8 Oct 27, 2022

@Gwendolyn2018 Desperate times often results is desperate measures.

5

My experience is that when men are called out on their behavior they tend to be surprised. Being disrespectful to strangers is BS. Other men should speak up when they witness it.

MizJ Level 8 Oct 27, 2022

There is a small problem I can see with that. What one persons might deem as disrespectful another may see as a compliment.

@Betty Young lady, girl, etc. are insulting and sometimes used to put women "in their place". We are each free to respond to these men as we wish. That said allowing them to get away with being disrespectful might suggest that it is acceptable.

@MizJ I am not disagreeing with you. I have seen how some women react to what they consider a compliment. As long as there are women who do then men will continue to try. It is almost like gambling, they hope for a win.

@MizJ, @Gwendolyn2018 You have every right to put them in their place and maybe they just might think twice before trying again.

@Gwendolyn2018 When I think about it... What do most parents tell their sons when they first start dating? They tell them to be kind and complement their date as well as not take advantage. Most teen girls want their efforts to be noticed and complemented. So....maybe that is where it starts.

@Gwendolyn2018 @Betty Sometimes a compliment is just that, sometimes it is given for an ulterior motive or is a disguised slight.

@MizJ Agreed. 🙂

@Gwendolyn2018 Kids are the most honest with their praise.

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