I no longer believe in the institution of marriage. I know that is a risky statement to make. Are there any others who share this sentiment here?
Long ago I read "one of life's greatest joys can be a happy marriage."
And one of life's greatest hells can be an unhappy marriage. I'm looking for a happy shack up.
It's a legal convenience in the beginning and a legal inconvenience in the end. I don't plan to do it again.
I think if you want to have a family, the societal conformity of marriage helps parents and children avoid an irritating collection of questions and paperwork.
Otherwise, and certainly for older people, I agree.
WHY is it remotely necessary to "conform"???
Part of the reason that marriage is far less necessary, is because so many
people are refusing to conform to societal norms. Single women deliberately
become mothers because they aren't interested in marriage. Some single men
do, too.
The paperwork doesn't really increase by all that much, and those with questions can be told it's none of their damned business.
@KKGator You seem to be a tad eager to argue. ?
You can tell from my response that I didn’t say it was ‘necessary’ to conform, and that the only reasons I cited for marriage were missing some paperwork and questions, so to anyone who actually thought about what they were reading, it was easy to see I don’t think there’s much reason to get married.
No one is unaware that single people choose to have children without input from the other biological parent.
@DinnerandaMovie Interesting.
I've been single 27 years, after a 25 year marriage. I love being single. I would be happy if I met a guy that I clicked with, but, very much doubt that I would ever get married or even live with anyone.
What she said!
I don't believe in it either, but I had to try it a few times first.
I was with my ex-wife for 11 years
We harbor no hatred for each other, but I've pretty much have decided I'll never marry again; it's just silly and un-needed IMO
I did it once, almost a 2nd time but thankfully, that did not happen. Have had long relationships (8 yrs, 17 yrs, 6 yrs & going) but never the desire to marry someone & link my hard work & credit to theirs.
I assume you mean that you no longer think that institution of marriage is good. I agree with this, at this point if a romantic partner wanted to become a legal entity then for me it would have to be something negotiated between both her and I with lawyers present. I understand the tax benefits and insurance benefits that come along with being married, but honestly I don’t think they’d be worth it if the relationship doesn’t work out. No marriage for me, now or ever.
Your call... your choice... I don't try to impose my beliefs on others because I got so few and they are personal anyways. But for those born in america... do you know your social security number says if your parents were married when you were born?
Add me to the list of those who have no desire to get married again. I don't think your statement is risky to many of us!
I have been divorced about 8 years (don't remember the exact count anymore). For financial reasons I will never remarry because that would create a financial penalty when I retire. And for me as there will never be human kids, there is no other reason I can think of to marry. I want a long term committed shack up. As for others I say, "follow your bliss."
Not for me.
I'll never marry again.
No need to.
Was married for 46 years. Now widowed. If I knew then what I know now I wouldn't have.
but preston, when we were young marriage was important. wasnt it wonderful to have a committed partner? plus, children of singles were shunned at that time. things are so different now. plus, I know now that monogamy is not possible for most.
@springlover I'm not sure it was as important to me as I thought it was to my parents and others. And I was not as committed to the marriage as my spouse...hindsight is 20 20 huh
@prestonw1243 yes, I'm sure that you are correct in regards to our parents. why are women more committed? is it a strength, or a weakness on our part?
@springlover I think it's a matter of socialization..learned behavior if u will...what we live with we learn...what we learn we practice...what we practice we become...what we become has consequences for us and others...
Marriage is just a contract! It is horrendous, causes more agony and pain, it binds, destroys, some see it as a way to control another. I have been married, hurt by it and would never do it again.
Unless you have children together, or plan on them, WHY?
Don't even need to do that for the purpose of having children.
The parents can put any name they please on the birth certificate(s).
Any other "benefits" of marriage can be legally obtained without it.
For me the only reasons for marriage are to raise kids or to declare to the world that you are an item. The latter is how I see gay marriage.
But then there are others who have different values. If a religious couple wants to marry because that is part of how they practise their religion then good luck to them. As long as they know that I am agnostic I wouldn't mind being invited to a meal to celebrate one of their religious festivals (along with their other friends of course). I would even try to take an appropriate gift.
I would rather have friends - especially friends with benefits - and I would make sure that they knew about each other and maybe even met. Cooking a meal for a friend in your house and them cooking a meal in theirs is way better than sharing every meal and wondering who is going to do the washing up. Going on holiday together is more enjoyable when you don't live together and you are more likely to appreciate the different way they live their life (and all the amazing things they know and do) rather than pick faults with it.
Your comment:
“I would rather have friends - especially friends with benefits - and I would make sure that they knew about each other and maybe even met. Cooking a meal for a friend in your house and them cooking a meal in theirs is way better than sharing every meal and wondering who is going to do the washing up. Going on holiday together is more enjoyable when you don't live together and you are more likely to appreciate the different way they live their life (and all the amazing things they know and do) rather than pick faults with it.”
Seems perfect. Times together are better when you choose each one, rather than wake up to a pre-committed default position.
Well, maybe not for you. I dunno if I'd indict marriage as an institution based on the opinion of one guy, all due respect of course. I was married for 28 years, mostly good. Marriage as an institution gets its legs from people who buy into it, and it is not a simple concept.