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I used to have the cutest, most adorable birthday suit. It was flexible, fit snugly, the seams were tight, and it was so comfortable.

However, after years of wear, it's sagging, coming apart at the seams, and I can barely fit into it anymore. And it's getting tighter. So tight it sometimes cuts off my oxygen.

God I wish I could afford a new one.

By Benthoven
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16 comments
2

Not a lot of after-market parts. At least not many that don't end up recalled.

KKGator Level 4 Dec 7, 2017
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2

I've found on gay dating sites that there are lots of young, attractive men looking for fat old daddies and not for their wallets. It's a fairly common fetish apparently. I have several on the line now and can't decide which one to get serious with.

GareBear517 Level 7 Dec 7, 2017
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2

There's always hope of reincarnation!

GareBear517 Level 7 Dec 7, 2017
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4

A new pair of kidneys would be gratefully received. So would a rejuvenated heart. A new pair of knees would also help. God Mobsters would also call for my brain to be replaced.

irascible Level 7 Dec 7, 2017
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I think we have the same doctors!

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4

Don't we all

sassygirl3869 Level 6 Dec 7, 2017
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3

That is exactly what happened to mine, so I took it off, as you can see in in my photo. Sexy huh? smile009.gif

Whathappensnow Level 3 Dec 7, 2017
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Don't let Jeff Dunham anywhere near you. smile007.gif

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5

Look at the brightside, you can grab the extra skin with both hands and make it look like a mouth talk: "Feed Me." Lol

Ignostic_Skeptic Level 4 Dec 7, 2017
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4

I'd like to upload an amusing country song on this theme called "I just don't look good naked any more" (unknown artist) but can't figure away of doing so. Try Googling it. smile001.gif

MartinL Level 2 Dec 7, 2017
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It seems there are several versions with different tunes and lyrics. (It may possibly be a common problem smile001.gif ) Here are the lyrics I'm familiar with.

I JUST DON'T LOOK GOOD NAKED ANYMORE
(aka TRUCKER'S LAMENT: I JUST DON'T LOOK GOOD NAKED ANYMORE)
(Sheb Wooley / Dick Feller)

Recorded by: Ben Colder; LeRoy Mack; The VW Boys;
Fantastic Shakers; Rita Schneider; Dale Pridgeon;
Stan Boreson; Tex & Mary Schutz; Dick Feller.


I stepped outta the shower and I gotta good look at myself
Pot belly, bald head, man, I thought I was somebody else
I caught my reflection in the mirror on the back of my bathroom door
I just don't look good naked anymore

So, I'm goin' upstairs and turn the bedroom mirror to the wall
I hung it there when I was trim and tall
I'd stand there and smile, and strut and flex until my arms got sore
But I just don't look good naked anymore

Well, I used to go out with the girls
I loved them one and all
Now they don't get very close to me
They're afraid that I might fall

Well, I went to the Doctor for my annual medical exam
Stood there in the buff, suddenly he said "MAN"
I said "What is it Doc, some fatal disease, I just gotta know the
score"
He said "No, you just don't look good naked anymore

Well, me and my wife had a dance routine
Everybody said it was unique
Now it's only when we're back to back
That we're dancing cheek to cheek

Well, I went to a nudie beech to have some seaside fun
Stretched out in my birthday suit, soakin' up the sun
Somebody yelled, "Hey, there's an old white whale washed up on the
shore
I just don't look good naked anymore

Yeah, my arches fell, my chest went to hell
And my butt's a-draggin' the floor
An' I just don't look good naked anymore
No, I just don't look good naked anymore

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'

My new theme song! Funny. Thanks!

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I think this is the one you are talking about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKgu33eTYX0

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2

Granted, wear and tear certainly happens to us all to varying degrees. But there are plenty of ways to still fit into your body, and keep it supple and functional.

You just have to decide to do them ...and keep doing them ! Choices.

evergreen Level 6 Dec 7, 2017
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Oscar Wilde in "The Picture of Dorian Gray:" If I could get back my youth I would do anything in the world except get up early, take exercise, or be respectable."

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2

The body does change!

twshield Level 7 Dec 7, 2017
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5

And ironing does not help.

GeorgeRocheleau Level 4 Dec 7, 2017
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7

I don't know ... I mean, sure, my body may not be as pleasing to the eye as it once was ... but it also has scars from battles that were hard-won, tattoos that detail my life's journey ... An upgrade would be nice, but I would feel like a stranger in a strange land ... I have grown comfortable with my imperfections, and if someone doesn't like how my body looks, well, they are free to look elsewhere. smile009.gif

evestrat Level 7 Dec 7, 2017
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I'm okay with that too, but the I look in the mirror, and my reflection runs off in terror. smile009.gif

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As my granny would say -- Stop looking in the mirror! ... smile009.gif LOL

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A very smart granny.

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7

Yeah, I know. Hair in places I don't want, no hair in places I do want. WTF?!? I checked out alterations and they're way out of my price range. Does anyone know the return policy?

kmdskit3 Level 5 Dec 7, 2017
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Yes, the return policy is... Put in a box, bury it under six feet of soil, and wait...

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Excellent comeback!

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6

Whatever you do don't be tempted to iron it.

VinceRichardson Level 5 Dec 7, 2017
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I think this is a warning I should heed. smile009.gif

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LMAO!!!

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6

Mine has sprouted hair in various, unsightly places. If this was designed, I have a beef with the designer.

NerdyOkieDude Level 6 Dec 7, 2017
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