Get away from her as completely as you can.
Don't remarry for at least 18 months, but get as involved with other people as you can.

Reading about your pain reminds me of the pain I went through in a similar situation. I however I chose not to remain friends....I just could not remain friends with someone who caused me that much pain. I don't know how I got from that place of pain (without help) to where I am today, a much happier and healthier individual, but I did. I made it. Everyone has a different way of dealing with this devastating pain and I'm not sure that I have any great pearls of wisdom to offer except to pass on the things that helped me. If you have access to professional help consider going that route. (I did not and looking back I think it would have taken less time to heal if I had). Take small steps, one at a time, and don't beat yourself up when you take a couple of steps back. Allow yourself to go through the grieving process. (This was a really important step for me.) Keep busy, even if you have to force yourself. Create a list of things that will bring you some happiness (something to look forward to); music, exercise, joining a group etc. Life will feel surreal for a while but that will change. You have to let go..easier said than done I know...but you will get there. Just have faith in yourself and look forward to that new person and life that will appear at the end of this journey. Peace to you.

Take a deep breath, you have to deal with the situation. It seems hopeless sometimes, but you can get through it.You can make a good future for yourself.Live your life with the attitude nothing is impossible, & no one will stand in your way. Hold your head up high, and make a good life for yourself.

Find a new hobby or focus. Restart some old ones. Track down some old friends or make some new ones. Join a focus group of some sort that puts people together who like the same things. What is it you like to do for you? Do you travel? Run those little remote control vehicles? Board games? Paint? Woodworking? Would you like to learn to do any of those things? Take care of you for a while. Figure yourself out, shake things up, make some smaller changes. Nothing big, just little personal, hobby related things.

Separations and divorces are not easy. Change is not easy. Been there, done that and survived. It is painful for a while but once you do find another focus it will become a bit less difficult. Time will take care of the rest.

Most states require at least one reconciliation hour as proof of divorce necessity or continued marital counseling. ...insisting upon your rights to alimony on top of reconciliation might work if you make less money than she does. ...all this presumes neither of you have children

You are not alone. There are many wonderful people on this site with therapeutic advice.

YouTube “your mind on breakups” it at least helps explain the “why” scientifically. Still doesn’t help heal the heart but at least the mind will understand it’s roll in all this pain.

I would recommend finding a good counselor to talk to. That can be hard to do, but well worth it. Just an objective third party to bounce my feelings off was helpful. I'm incredibly sentimental and still in love with every woman I ever loved - whether it was my choice or hers to end the relationship.

get on match.com and meet another woman. Eventually you will stop thinking about your wife. Good Luck!

A change of attitude on your part is what is needed..Accept that it is over. You can't go back so move on. Sometimes it is difficult but gets easier as you move along !

Was married for 27 yeas, found out she was an alcoholic for about half. Instead of getting help and getting better, she got worse. I still love her, I still care, but it got to the point where I could not even trust her to drive to work without stopping for a drink. Our relationship was not good, or great, but she was my closest friend for so long. I am not hugely swayed by emotions, but I do find while out there I am enjoying things We would have enjoyed if she were not drinking. And that leaves me sad. She is the only woman I have ever anything with, so I am nervous about moving on. Faithful and Us was so much a part of my identity for so long, it’s hard to actively see the next step. But I can tell you what keeps me sane and grounded. She started smoking again after quitting for 25. We are amicable on Facebook, and can chat about anything not serious... food, games, TV, the grand kid. But she is making no effort to get help with her problemand has not worked in the last 7 months. So any signs I would care about to give me hope are not happening. I told myself I was astress eater, got too big. Separating during our divorce process cleared my head to take stock and learn about my real issue. So things are much better for me physically. Mon to a Thursday nights I am busy with martial arts and dance classes. I take the dogs for walks most days. But the weekend is still hard for me. The slow down time. At first I was driven to get a date, and I have had a few that went nowhere. Awkward sitting across the table from not her, especially the one red head I met for coffee. But after being lied to for so long... I can honestly say I am still hopeful of finding a relationship where my partner truly enjoys being with me. Because I don’t want to just go through the motions.

Sucks, but you have to remove yourself from the situation. It's the only way you'll get closure.

You know the adage, "Make yourself interesting because it's the person you'll spend the most time with."

I find it fascinating that with 4 billion people on the planet that every one of them is different!

You know the adage, "Make yourself interesting because it's the person you'll spend the most time with."

I find it fascinating that with 4 billion people on the planet that every one of them is different!