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You've probably heard this before.

What's the difference between Jesus and an oil painting of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up an oil painting.

towkneed 7 Mar 4
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6 comments

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0

vampire survivors is a survival game with roguelike elements in which players have to defeat hordes of monsters and try to survive until dawn.

1

He wanted to be a lawyer. But he got nailed on his boards. That's right, you heard me. LOL

If he did exist, he would probably work for the FDIC!!!

They really have the same fate the FDIC has no real budget, except for the fines levied, with no one is going to prison for the felonies of their corporations!!,

2

Modern depictions of crucifixions are historically inaccurate. First they'd strip the person completely naked. I hve yet to see a historically accurate depiction of Jesus being crucified. Then in addition to the nails, they'd tie the limbs at the wrists and ankles as well, otherwise a person could pull the nails all the way through their hands and feet. I have seem proper depictions of this aspect of crucifixions in artwork.

I have yet to see any picture of a fully nude Jesus being crucified. I often wonder if it is becase the church does not want Jesus to be seen as a sexual being, or because ... well ... how well do you endow him? If you don't endow him enough, would people take him seriously, and if you endow him too much, then the Christ figure becomes sexualized... I wonder if it would attract more women or gay men if Jesus was depicted as having been really well hung....

Just putting some fun conversational ideas out there in case the subject of Jesus ever comes up in conversation... say at a party of something.

3

My late stepdad used to talk of how much Jesus loved us and he would spread his arms out as wide as they would go and say "Jesus loved us this much." OK, being crucified was a common way of death. How would this work out if Jesus was electrocuted and his head exploded? What does any of this have to do with love?

I'd say probably something about blowing his load for us. And since it has been 2,000 years... I'll let that stew for those of you who can get mental images.

4

You just don't ever want to let somebody have fun.

2

Groan.

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