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I CAN'T DO MY WORK BECAUSE I NEED IT ON GREEN PAPER!
Ok. I'll get in on green for you.
I CAN'T DO MY WORK BECAUSE I NEED IT ON BLUE PAPER!
Will this blue overlay help?
NO! IT'S NOT THE RIGHT BLUE!!!!
OK. Where are you going?
YOU'RE STRESSIN' ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
I'M GOING TO SEE MY MENTAL HEALTH COUNCILLOR!
Ok, Could you put your phone away please?
I HAVE TO TEXT MY MUM! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!
Could you put the mascara and mirror away please?
I HAVE TO TOTALLY REDO MY MAKE UP BECAUSE THEY MADE ME TAKE MY EYELASHES OFF!
Ok. Where are you going?
I NEED A WEE! IT'S MY HUMAN RIGHT TO GO FOR A WEE!
Ok. Could you stop talking and get on please?
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE TALKING!! THAT'S RACIST!
Maybe you could go and sit over there next to that girl?
THAT'S SEXIST! YOU'RE GONNA BE VERY SORRY!

And do you know what they expect me to "teach" these charming 15 year olds?

Macbeth
Act 4 Scene 1.

Anybody else want to be a Supply Teacher??????

GoldenDoll 7 May 2
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4 comments

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0

?. If it helps, I know a man who knows a man who knows of a man who might just ‘sort them out’ for you with attitude. For a small fee, natch ?
I had thoughts once in prehistory of becoming a teacher; so glad I didn’t. I have zero tolerance for that kind of crap. I’d have ended up getting fired and defrocked, or arrested.
Breathe deeply, stretch, and relax ?.

That is exactly the reason I do day-to-day supply (and of course the office politics in the staffroom).. But the kids are like that because of 1) parenting (lack of), and 2) bleeding heart "councillors" and the schools, who indulge their every whim. The girl who stormed out of class because I said she should stop texting & give me her phone (school policy), was brought back to the class 10 minutes later by the "mental health counseillor", who said "If I take her phone off her now can she come back in the class?" And let her sit next to another numpty of her choice. I had no choice of course, but this kid's behaviour has just been validated, and will no doubt be repeated. One of my daughters is a permanent teacher and she has all my admiration.

1

You could say "you want to read it or watch it?" Obvious answer, then show them the video with Patrick Stewart in the lead role. Its got AK47s in it as well as an x-man

Unfortunately, most schools don't trust a supply teacher with a board pen, never mind a laptop or a login/password. I'm lucky if I get a few scribbled instructions on the back of an envelope as a "lesson plan". And anyway, they always watch the film with their normal teacher, so she can get on with her marking. I get a phone call at 7am to tell me which school to go to. I usually get to know what I'm teaching about 5 minutes before the kids swagger into the room. So actually having a few notes on an envelope is actually easier than having to read a 4 page lesson plan complete with individual "targets" for each kid. At least I don't have any planning to do. Just a lot of ad-libbing. I taught quite a good Spanish lesson today, even though Spanish isn't one of my languages........

@GoldenDoll Fuck me I didn`t know it was that bad. And Trump wants to arm you too!

@273kelvin - Gosh, I hope not. I'm in England.

@GoldenDoll Oops

@GoldenDoll I did a job for a spanish teacher a few months ago. He said that scouse had the best equivalent for ole....go`ed

0

You mean "The Scottish Play?"....

OMG condolences.

Yep, nothing like a bit of Shakespeare to calm the savage beast.

2

Teachers REALLY do need a raise.

Duke Level 8 May 2, 2018
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