Lost my youngest daughter 3 years ago. Being atheist is, in my opinion a plus. That she was like minded likely helped too. I realize folks mean well and happy to say when clergy etc were declined, they respected her wishes. She wrote her own epitaph. "Remember me for my laugh and I will take with me the love and goodness you have brought into my life. As I drift away on a sea of wild flowers, grant me some peace."
The celebration of her life was lovely and the absence of church and a "service" was lovely and as she wished.

If folks had strong opinions, they kept them to themselves as they should

I have wondered in the past when dealing with the loss of a loved one if I wasn't better off being able to deal with the reality that there is no proof of an afterlife and the false hope of being reunited rather than wondering if the departed person was writhing in eternal torment at the hands of a cruel and hateful god such as described in most religions.

When my brother was dying in hospice, their grief counselor came by several times to offer comfort which invariably took the form of prayer and speaking to God. She noticed I didn't participate in these rituals and asked me why. I explained to her I wasn't religious and didn't believe in any of this and she responded by suggesting I read the bible.

I told her, I'd read the bible and it had no impact on me so she left it by giving me a copy of a book she'd written -- the book was all about the power of having faith.

Nice lady but we had no further business after that.

I never read her book and my brother died despite all the prayers for his recovery.

Although she meant well, definitely the conversation would go off rails if would take too long. I hope it was short.

Only one small thought of perhaps some comfort, which is that. Death can not take away what has been. The life that was lived is still a good one, and it still leaves a legacy of meaning and good intent in those who remember. Intend for yourself, that I shall now live the life that they would have wanted for me, and my life shall express the wisdom their life passed on to me.

It does work. My wife still gives me good advice in my head, even after more than twenty years.

I'm sorry for your loss. The grief counselor in your story simply does not get it. As a religious believer she has been taught that in an imaginary place in the sky you will see your loved ones again. They want to believe this but their book itself says nothing like it. Eternity is not a place. We cannot go there. We cannot visit. Being in the sky and singing god's grace and praise forever and ever is like a stoppage of time. The grief counselor and her friends cannot get this because they do not want to. Life is a process of which death is also a part. We all have different time frames for this journey.

A grief counselor who is a "higher power" centric needs help herself.

I hear you. since my wife passed, I 've dated several women but before anything goes past a coffee date, the topic of higher powers is discussed and if present, she's discarded quickly

And if you buy into the wrong concept of a "higher power" according to many Xian fundies, you'll both experience the tortures of hell for all eternity.

Good times.

Sorry for your loss. The last few years have been really hard for me. My older sister died suddenly and unexpectedly on Sept. 11, 2019. My mother-in-law died the following Jan. 2. Then covid happened and my mother died from it on 6/02/ 2020, which was the 30th anniversary of my oldest sister's death (she died of leukemia at the age of 34) a week after my mother died, my younger sister's husband died from cancer.

I am an atheist and I do not believe in life after death, but I do think about them all, all of the time (and my Dad too who died in 2000). It is not lost on me that I am now older than either of my older sisters had the chance to be. I'm not sure how I am handling the loss. I just keep plugging along, trying to keep myself alive. But I will say that sometimes when I find myself in a certain situations it brings back the memory of one of my lost loved ones. For example, yesterday, while I was washing dishes, I thought about my sister who died in 2019. We used to wash the dishes together when we were kids. I swear I recounted a conversation we had in 1972 while doing that chore. I doubt I would have given it a second though, if she were still alive.

I am so sorry for your loss. If you would like to talk, we are here and we will listen.

I am very sorry for your loss but I am thankful that you experienced a very meaningful adult relationship in your lifetime. Not everyone does.

No, you won't ever see her again. Yes, grief would be easier to cope with if the religious myths were true. But remember that in the big picture, you have access to something that religious people will never have: the truth. Sometimes it is hard to bear, but as long as you have it you will always be much better equipped overall than those who don't.

In time, may you love again.

We are born to live and live to die. This is the only life we know we have.