Yes the beginning of a relationship is great. Everything is new, great and intense. It is easy to become addicted to that first rush. In university I roomed with a wealth guy my age whose father married about once a year to incredibly gorgeous women. He actually had a book with all their photos.

The fantasy of finding a "soul-mate" is promulgated by rom-coms, advertising, stupid fantasy novels and Disney movies.

Suddenly I'm hit with a lightning bolt of love, cheeks flushed, wearing a flowing white dress, with arms outstretched, running through a flowery field with butterflies and birds into the arms of my One True Love... CUT.

I love the quote from "Moonstruck" when Loretta says:

"I may be attracted to you, but that doesn't mean I have to act on it. I can say 'yes' or no.'"

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I have a soul mate/twin flame relationship, but it's strictly platonic.

If it gets like a drug it isn't healthy. You can have great sex but if there are deception, manipulation and control issues at the same time you have a relationship that will combust. My last long term relationship was exactly that on and off for 10 years. I thank my lucky stars we never got married, but after two unhealthy marriages I somehow kept putting it off. I was going to help him learn to love and trust. It wasn't possible to teach someone to love when they did not love themself. Take a look at both those relationships objectively. What did they have in common? It took me years to get healthy mentally. You have to learn not to repeat those old patterns. Love yourself first.

Can't say I've ever had one. I don't believe in it and maybe that's why??

I can agree exactly. We also know that we only have one "soul mate" but I feel much like you do here. Why are we not still blissfully in love? It is because everything changes. Hard to accept the realities of life.

I had an opportunity to experience brilliant, emotionally deep connection with two (Deaf) individuals - one male and one female. Meeting them change my life forever. Were they my soul mate, however man defines soul mates --- all I knew was that we connected in the most profound deepest way. Sadly, they both rejected me due to fear of experiencing what could have been a life long blissful relating. It was heart breaking and confusing for me -- as I never pushed myself but certainly invited them to be a part of my life. Even if it meant just being platonic friends but they were still fearful. The male soul mate ended up hooking up with his ex and got her accidentally pregnant and felt the need to marry her out of duty due to his Irish grandfather gotten his girlfriend pregnant- then his father got his mother pregnant and now he repeated the same "family curse tradition". It didn't help the girl was from a very dysfunctional family and sought him out to escape from them. The female soul mate was homophobic for a long time due to her strongly religious upbringing. It took her 8 long years to realize my love was "real". We were going to reunite but she committed suicide which left me a very dark place for many many years. From what I understand and personally experienced and seeing a lot of books explaining why soul mates don't seem to stay together --- for me it's all about FEAR of embracing true love with another kind human being. I do agree that it's not always romantic connection - can be with a child, a platonic friend, even a relationship with an animal who is strongly and emotionally bonded. Whatever floats your boat. I can totally relate of wanting/desiring more of that amazing loving connection with the ones that seems to really get you. These two people used to read me like a book and I'm not that easy to read as I hide a lot of emotions/thoughts/information from them. But they could still see right through me and I them. The male soul mate used to be able to tell me in ONE sentence say the exact right thing at the right time and calm me immendiately. I never met anyone like him ever since. I miss him and always will.

Thanks to the agency of this site I have found someone amazing. We are goofy for each other. She and I are soul mates.

I don't think soul mate means forever automatically. I think you can be a perfect match for someone else (and vice versa) for any length of time, for that window when you are synced. for some this lasts decades, as they mirror each others growth and changes, continuing to be what the other 'needs' in perpetuity.. for others it may last a single evening, as two individuals briefly fall into line for each other, and the match collapses again right after.

TLDR Timing is everything.

Seems my only ‘soul mate’ was crazy

I only had 1 major super everything relationship, 12 weeks was all it lasted. Yeah, I want more too.