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Kids doing what they want today and parents as enablers. I have just a few thoughts on this.

Not so long ago my oldest daughter's girl that she raised as her own decided to go stay with her grandma so she would have more freedom. Recent pics of her on FB show her pregnant belly. We can only assume she has been doing what she wanted to. My daughter is now living with her sister again but told me today she has decided to take in the brother of the pregnant girl and his girlfriend for a short time until they can find an apartment. Since my older daughter is now living with her sister, how is that going to work out? Also, the two she is taking in are fresh out of high school, have BS jobs, and only want to be together.

I recall my two daughters themselves living with me because they did not want to live with their mom and the stepdad. They wanted to do things their own way. In a short time my oldest moved out with her BF because I said he could not live there with us. Both of them moved into an apartment complex in Houston where the BF dumped her for the manager's daughter. In time my younger daughter moved out also after she graduated high school.

I hear many stories of kids moving or threatening to if you will not let them live in your place with their BF or GF. One woman told me "why not, coz you know they are going to have sex anyway." This is not a moral issue with me. It is you as an enabler. Indeed, an enabler issue.

My neighbor has a son just out of high school and he moved his GF in. Soon she was pregnant so he moved her out and ditched her. Now he has moved in another girl from his workplace but she is already pregnant. I'm wondering why people cannot figure this out. Why do we let them do what they want to do when they live in our homes?

Now you know just another reason that I live alone at 78. I been looking for a GF but I know the first thing she would do is tell me I need new carpets. She might even want to move in a pregnant daughter.

DenoPenno 9 Sep 30
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0

My autistic son worked hard for UPS in his 20s as a package loader, and put himself through college. I offered to help him, but he insisted on doing it himself. He's 34, but only now about to graduate from college, because it took him a while, but that's okay. He supports himself. I did help him buy a house, but he works hard in addition to going to college. He maintains a 3.8 GPA as a survey engineering major, and has applied to 60 job openings for when he graduates. He's held high-paying internships every summer since he started college. He overheard his teachers at his special school saying he would never be able to hold a job, and would need constant supervision. Ha! I guess he showed them. He has overcome/outgrown autism, ADHD, epilepsy, learning disabilities and social anxiety. He doesn't smoke. No excessive drinking, or any drug use. He and I have a very close relationship. I guess sometimes it works the other way. Yeah, I know I'm bragging, but through sheer stubbornness and determination, many obstacles can be overcome. Signed, proud mother, whose son will never be a "problem"/AKA Organist1.

1

These are soft people living in hard times

When a man can can produce quadrillion spermcell in his lifetime. Why is every sperm sacred in religion. About 12 weeks a fetus has no heartbeat or feels pain: Seem a fair time to abort a child. Who is likly will be unloved or living in unfavorab8le healthy condition throughout their lifetime. . As well these conditions work in nature's animal kingdom.

This is true but most Republicans think the issue is about abortions. A woman should be allowed an abortion. Actually it is about women's healthcare and a woman should have control of her own body. Ignorant people trying to be cute talk about abortions at 8 months or just letting the child be born and then they kill them. Trump said that. That's a little extreme and gets into murder.

1

My mom was a huge enabler for one of my sisters. The sister got married to someone unable to earn enough to support them. They would rent an apartment and, after a few months of not being able to pay the rent, they would climb out the window, late at night, and move in with mom. She put up with it but would go out and find them another apartment. Then the story was repeated. Finally, mom talked my sister into dumping the guy, which she did. The sister was attractive and would find a new BF but then the old husband would be around and make a scene so the BF would leave. Then mom found a GF for the former husband. Then my sister found another guy, named Jack, who was a Vietnam vet with PTSD. He would take a baseball bat to bed and when having a nightmare would wake up swinging the bat so my sister learned to always stay low. They had a daughter but my sister could care less for her and she developed problems of her own. Of course mom talked the sister into leaving Jack. Sometimes mom would come home to find the sisters kids in the house. Mom didn't believe in locks so the sister would leave off the kids and take off for a few days. One time, sis, told mom her car was being repaired and could she borrow moms car, of course mom 'lent' her the keys. Someone asked mom when will the sister bring back the car. Mom knew, when the car was low on gas. The sister took the car key and had a 2nd one made. Mom, often spent time with the neighbors and once she came home - no car. The sister took it. Later the sister met and married a rich older guy who had a ranch with horses in a place near San Antonio. Dad died and we talked mom into finding another mate, which, amazingly she did. This guy was 'supposedly' a retired AF officer. Mom started complaining that her friend, Buddy, would constantly ask her to borrow a few dollars (always something small so he wouldn't feel guilty in not paying her back. He also often asked her to drive him someplace. Mom constantly complained about Buddy. We told her she needed to dump this guy but she always replied, she didn't want to hurt his feelings. Guilt is sometimes an ingredient in enabling.

That's quite a story. Sounds like some of my family.

4

And this is why I never had or wanted kids.

So you are a 'cat lady.' Actually, the world needs more people like you. Life would be a lot less violent if me were childFREE.

2

Whatever you do, don’t upgrade the carpets!! 🙃

Currently I have no money for that. I live on a fairly strict budget and have a $95,000 CD but I have no money for carpets. 🙂

2

Maybe the thing is to "force" young men to have a vasectomy asap as they can be reversed.

HAH! You and I both know they'd all be screaming like the proverbial mashed cats...about how nobody has the right to tell them what to do with their bodies! BUT...we also need to tattoo them when the snipping's been done. Without proof, we can't believe them when they say they've had it done.

@pamagain I am with you all the way.

8

IMO, no one should have kids unless...
they really want them and have the means to raise them properly.

Living in the grandparent's house in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. Not if the young parents are working to better themselves (going to school, holding down and advancing in a job) and contributing the the upkeep of the household.

But just being a procreative layabout is bullshit.

"You ain't nowhere 'til you can pay your own way back"
-- Robert Hunter

It sounds like what is needed here, at the very least, is sex education, with a heavy emphasis on methods of contraception.

And abortion on demand.

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