I am the only person in my large latino family who does not believe in god. I find it very difficult to compromise my values to appease theirs. For example when sitting down to eat, they pray before every meal. I hold hands with everyone, but when they all have theor eyes closed and heads bowed down I look around and think, why are we talking to ourselves? How do you handle situations like this?
8
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I have Dissociative Identity Disorder so its easy for me to tune out - I don't really have a sense of how it happens it just seems to happen when I want it to - I have 9 alters so someone else is in control of my sensory perceptions - Its pretty handy but I don't reccomend it - It takes a lot of insanity to get this sort of disorder. I think if you practise tuning out or catch yourself when you are capacitous of doing it you might be able to replicate it when you need it. Also singing a silly song to yourself in your head - I think there might be many ways to tune out - I have D.I.D because I was adept at tuning out my mentally disturbed family- I called it 'going away' but its good to be in control of ot yourself rather than going as far as I did and getting alters.
jacpod
Level 8
May 13, 2018
1
I do that too. I rarely close my eyes. But I am grateful. I give thanks to the animal that gave it's life so that I could eat. I give thanks for the ability to understand that my "sustenance" was provided by a creature that maybe wasn't willing to give it's life. And I remind myself that I am alive thanks to the gift of other creatures.
While they're thanking God, those are the things I'm thinking of.
Benthoven
Level 8
May 13, 2018
3
I agree, wish thanks was given to the animals that died instead of god. I started saying thank you to the animals and now my younger brother does it too 
Those repeated prayers are so meaningless. You might add:."may the fates bless everyone here."
gothicmtn86
Level 4
May 12, 2018
1
My family are all believers; the few times I AM around them and they do group prayer all I do is just stay silent whole looking around.
WhatsInAName
Level 6
May 12, 2018
1
I bow my head - close my eyes and while they pray to their God I think about the meal I'm about to have and thankful that I have another year to be with the people I love. And let me tell you - it's borrowed time - I'm 50 now and most of the people I had these meals with have passed away starting in 1995. From June of 2016 to last July I lost me grand aunt, my best man, my father and finally last July my 51-year old brother. I'd give anything to at least have a couple of them back and so focus less on the tradition and more on being with family because one day they won't be here and when that time comes you're not going to see them as being silly but yourself for focusing on something that in the long-term had no value.
SLBushway
Level 7
May 12, 2018
2
I feel you on that. I always appreciate the time I get to spend with them as I know one day we will all be gone from this earth. For me it's meaningless and an easy thing for me to do to go along with their traditions. They all know where I stand on the subject though!
@rudymartinez that's great that your family accept you for being an non believer. In my case they kept ignoring my words and action. Few years ago my mom passed away and the extended family members started questioning me and kept treating me that I believe in there hokus, pokus. I had to engage all of them in the conversation, and constantly remind them I am not part of any religion. So many of them walked away from me, wishing me a good life. So many do not respond back anymore if I send condolences, wish birthdays etc. All my family live in different states, countries, for work, opportunities, and better quality of life. So we had a virtual relationship to begin with, with occasional visits.
Same here! I just go along with them. For family I just tolerate it. In the big picture it's not worth losing family. Just keep thinking for yourself. Kudos..
2muchstupidity
Level 6
May 12, 2018
4
Dito.
Exactly the same way even as a child. ?
It's awkward every time.
MarlaPaine
Level 6
May 12, 2018
4
LOL ... I used to be married to a family like this. During the Thanksgiving meal prayer, I looked up and saw father-in-law also looking around and giving me a knowing grin.
jujuofthesea
Level 7
May 12, 2018
1
I close my eyes out of politeness and respect, and just relax. Why make any more of it than that? I give family members their superstitions. They will take them anyway.
Heraclitus
Level 8
May 12, 2018
1
People usually exclude me from that, they know I do not respect the ritual.
NothinnXpreVails
Level 8
May 12, 2018
1
Another method to avoiding the ritual is to just say I have to work over time, and can't get to the family dinner till after the ritual is performed is done. If you're lucky you can time it just right so that the food is still available.
@Vintenar haha, yeah there’s always that. I’m always late for everything anyway
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