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These dating sites and apps are so sad and shallow. Women are receiving pics without request. Men, and maybe women, are harassed by fake accounts trying to get you to sign up for sleezy websites. Most people haven't filled out their profiles and only rely on pics for the swipe culture.

This is the only site I've seen that brings any intellect into it. Are we in the minority, those of us who want a little more brains in our mates? Am I over thinking things again?

AllAboutThatBass 4 May 13
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28 comments

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10

This is a dating site!?

Proto Level 6 May 13, 2018

?

I've actually talked to a greater number of interesting people on here (hello Blindbird, Jorj, Goldendoll, Benthoven and many others) than I managed in a year on "real" dating sites.

7

I don't know much about dating sites. I doubt my wife would be any too happy about my setting out to do research in the area. Because of this, I can't say whether you're overthinking. On the other hand, I think I can safely say that this site is probably not like any dedicated dating site, mainly because it isn't a dedicated dating site. I have found some rather interesting people here, many of whom I would probably enjoy one on one in face to face situations. There is not much like a cup of good coffee mixed with stimulating repartee.

And a bit of good sex to go with it ?? Lol

7

We do seem to be a minority. We are looking for substance over fluff.

5

I agree with the other commenters. This site doesn't have as many of the same problems as other dating sites have.

5

I dipped my toe in the water of one site and recoiled in horror as if it was battery acid. No no no. I like to get to know people on other levels first. Shared interests, good discussion, mutual things in common. Then let's see. Never in my life had a good relationship start out so superficially.

4

You get a more sophisticated kind of deception on these pages 🙂

4

Nope, not over thinking at all. It seems my "matches" on those sites want you yo have a Harley (I like Ducati and BMW myself), have a good job (while they are unemployed) and/or have a nice new car (that their unemployed ass can drive while you are at work on your bike).
No thanks, apparently having a brain isn't a requirement or being stupid is.

I immediately rejected any male on Zoosk and Match, both of which I left long before my 3 months were over, who posted pictures of himself on a Harley, guzzling beer, doing both at the same time, taking half-naked selfies in front of a mirror, half-naked selfies in a hot tub, or riding a horse. I don't know any women with a brain who find those appealing.

@tucsonkosmicgirl That's why I love this site. I always knew women had a mind, here I get to experience it.

@tucsonkosmicgirl haha! Same here! The pics were funny not attractive,

4

Through match.com I met Dan. He and I hiked, downhill skied and had fun together. We were lovers for three years, at which point I decided it was too painful to love a man who was incapable of love and commitment. We broke up.

But we continued as friends and hiking partners. Our last backpacking trip was to Lake Caroline and aptly-named Windy Pass. We had a great time! Alas, Dan moved to Utah.

Photos: Lake Caroline where we camped, The Enchantments, Mt. Cashmere and craggy cliffs above our campsite. Sept. 2015

@jellyfish, Thank you for saying you like my photos.

4

I have had some good relationships through some of theses sites, don't knock them ?

Good point. Thank you.

@LiterateHiker
You too ??? Wish I had met you on line ? ( smiles )

@VAL3941, Thanks for the compliment. I appreciate it.

@LiterateHiker
Only my pleasure my sweetness !

4

No not overthinking, just thinking which is very healthy. And yes, have tried other "dating" sites which only ended up costing me quite a bit of money and there were really no potential mates for a radical like me. Seemed all they were looking for was long walks on a beach at sunset and someone to cuddle while watching television (i don't do television). Am only a recent member to Agnostic but the conversations are refreshing.

4

Most people don’t want to work very hard...getting to know a person takes some work! Sure a few times in our life, ‘magic’ happened, and maybe that is embedded in our psyche and we sub-consciously look for it, maybe forever! Makes for a lot of lonely people, me thinks!

4

No, you're right. And most of the men here do the same..look a photo, then start in on women with zero knowledge or interest in them as people.

Because of this blind spot, most men here don't write profiles or answer the profile questions because THEY never look at them.
Look! A hot woman! I think I'll go for her!

The few men who do write profiles and talk about women's actual hobbies and interests are often men strong in female traits, who see woman as people, not just a "score," although, if they are cis hetero, they are also sexually attracted to them.

Since studies show that most high IQ creative people are androgynous (mixed gender traits), and statistically, agnostics and atheists are higher IQ than the general population, there is a high percentage of androgynous people here.

As usual, if you try to troll me, I'll just block you. I know how gender issues can bring on the trollers.

Have you tried making a fake profile on a site and looking at the profiles women make?

From my experiences on tinder, bumble, plenty of fish, and match, there are many women who have pictures and nothing else. Or they'll just write "ask me" in the profile section (never mind that you can't actually do that on tinder or bumble until after you've been matched). Of course men only care about pictures if that's all they're being given to make an assessment on

@ghost_warlock I was referring to this website, and the only other dating website I've been on, I wrote a very detailed profile and got a hit before I could even turn around. I ended up marrying him, as he turned out to be exactly what I'd listed that I wanted in a partner. But your experience might the reason most men don't bother to write any profiles here. Most of the women do, however.

4

I dare say it's humanity that's sad and shallow. Internet dating sites are just an indicative symptom of a much larger problem.

4

Dating sites as well as most of not all social sites bring in trolls and fakes. I just had a request off Facebook yesterday from some alleged lady to talk on hangout. It didn't take long for the person to show their true intent of wanting me to receive a package from a relative full of brand new iPhones. But I used the time to track that ISP and send it forward to authorities. I've seen this scam several times and they aren't even smart enough to try and change the scam. Either that or it still works effectively to keep trying it.

3

True most people on tinder and sites like that are just after casual sex but hey everyone's got needs and trying to find intellectually stimulating conversation or logical discourse on sites like that is pointless when the level of conversation comes down to ur cute wanna fuc seriously thats how low some peoples standards are. I've found the people here to be much more interesting theres no look at me I'm so pretty going on from the ladies and the men don't seem to be as desperate here its kinda chill

Look at ME, I'm so pretty........ and such a colourful personality......... pity I was having a bad hair day when the pic was taken 😉

I don't think this site will be useful for casual sex. But I know a few others 😉

3

Yes you are over thinking things, since this site isn't really setup for dating as much as a lobby to talk with your atheist community.

3

I've spent a fair amount of time on Tinder, POF, and OkCupid. It certainly does work to help you meet people, and yes you can find dates or at least someone to chat with.

HOWEVER, it is very difficult to get through the masses of competition. Sometimes it really is much easier to just chat with people at a bar or wherever you happen to be.

3

I have tried OkStupid, er, Cupid, and eScarmony, er, Harmony, and neither worked for me.

LOL, back when I was doing research for a bit of fiction I was writing I submitted a profile to Eharmony and stated I was a non-believer. Came back...YOU HAVE NO MATCHES. [i0.kym-cdn.com]

@seaspot_run eHarmony wouldn't even let me make a profile. Just redirected me to a page saying that they wouldn't even try to match 20% of the people who tried signing in

2

Well.... you may meet a person of interest in here. I would say that it would be wise to make posts and make a comment so members can see you. Eventually you may meet that special person in here and others can compliment your character. Tell us something about you in your profile. Good luck in your endeavor. Glad you found us. Have fun..

2

Sometimes it gets a little pretentious around here.

@FortyTwo Oh thank god. I'm not the only one.

2

In regards to your last question, maybe. I've been on here for about a month and a half now, and I've observed quite a bit of trolling, received inappropriate messages, and all in all have not witnessed alot of what would be considered intellectual conversation. Stick around though, and see for yourself.

1

I have to agree with you. I would take brains any day. No you are not over thinking things.

1

I have been using Plenty of Fish casually for years, with a little common sense it is fine.

I'm on PoF and it's crammed with bot profiles with porn advertisements for pics. Also, it seems completely wrong that you can only use the tool to search for someone by their username when you're not signed in. Why on earth would it be set up that way other than to skim people's data?

1

Doesn't your complaint about people not filling out their profiles seem a bit hypocritical to you?

A lot of people see this as just a forum for rational discussion.

JimG Level 8 May 13, 2018
1

What, that's not true. Follow me here at "insert shady link one should never EVER click on" 😛

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