20 9

Insults.
Anyone can mutter an expletive or curse another, but clever insults, made in public, are wonderful, though rare. One of my favourites is:-
"In this world there are 3 kinds of turd. There's "musturd", there's "custurd" and there's you - you big shit."!!!!
Do you have any?

By Petter
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20 comments

0

No offence, but I don't think the example provided is witty or intelligent. I was expecting an Oscar Wilde type witticism.

Ellatynemouth Level 8 May 17, 2018
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1

Billions of years of evolution and you're the result ?????????

Simon1 Level 7 May 17, 2018
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.... and you and I share the same DNA. Frightening, isn't it?

1

If stupid could fly, you'd be a jet. Of course I'm not directing that comment to anyone on here.

SpikeTalon Level 8 May 17, 2018
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Of course not ! smile009.gif

1

I have asked "Were you born that stupid or did it take effort" ...
Usually in response to some bigoted remark.

Slappy_Longarms Level 7 May 16, 2018
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3

When some rich turd gets on my nerves i ask why is there only one letter difference from affluent to effluent?

blueskies Level 7 May 16, 2018
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1

Your dad wiped the best of you on the curtain. ..

The best if you dribbled down your mum's thighs

And to think you were the sperm that won ....

Simon1 Level 7 May 16, 2018
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2

Sorry, one more:

"I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
~ The French Taunter

To be honest, anything the French Taunter says is brilliant.

Benthoven Level 7 May 16, 2018
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2

I'm still partial to this one after all these years:
""You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole."
Otto from A Fish Called Wanda

Benthoven Level 7 May 16, 2018
Reply

"It's K-k-ken c-c-coming to k-k-kill me!"

2

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
~ Winston Churchhill

Benthoven Level 7 May 16, 2018
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2

You still need to find third turd 💩, dontcha realize bas-turd?

Morganfreeman Level 7 May 16, 2018
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3

I try not to insult people unless they ask for it.
Then I'm more direct....'go fuck yourself ' gets the point across.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Slappy_Longarms Level 7 May 16, 2018
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3

You, sir/madam, are a waste of protoplasm that could have gone toward a perfectly good rottweiler.

Does your arse get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth?

Your mum should have swallowed you.

If you're going to be two faced, could you at least make one attractive?

Davethecrow Level 5 May 16, 2018
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Number two could apply to a certain president we know, I do believe.

best shit of the kind smile002.gif smile002.gif smile002.gif

You win ten times over. I love all over those.

2

I still like Churchill's reply to a woman who said he was drunk, "My dear, you're ugly, but in the morning I'll be sober, and you'll still be ugly."

tnorman1236 Level 8 May 16, 2018
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You beat me to it lol

1

If it wasn't for your face you'd be pretty ....

Simon1 Level 7 May 16, 2018
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Talking about me again?

6

Get a brian, moran!

Sunishine Level 5 May 16, 2018
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Reminds me of a huge march held in Nairobi during the early 1980s, to celebrate World Literacy Day.
The participants marched holding up a banner that spread right across the width of a six lane highway, which read "World Litracy Day". I cursed, because I didn't have my camera with me.

Edited

@Petter That can't be true...surely.

@Sunishine Wish I had had my camera. More astounding still was that many of the participants were university students.
To this day I smile at the memory.

@Petter

That is a poor country which has been ransacked by the British.

Edited

There's some skullduggery going on somewhere in Internet land... Some photos of this guy show his poster as being 'Get a brain morans'

@Ellatynemouth Wrong. Read your history. The British who went to Kenya were not the usual colonisers. Many actually poured their own family fortunes and hours of toil into it, as they built up its farmland and industry. I should know!
Please read this prologue. [mojacar.ws]

@Petter

I suppose it depends which source you read.

[aljazeera.com]

@Ellatynemouth Mine is personal and first hand. I'm third generation Kenyan and that is the start of my autobography.

4

Oh, I have a few. I don't use them in polite company.

I am also keeping them quiet, or they will lose their potency.

Donotbelieve Level 8 May 16, 2018
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What do I have to do to earn one?

@Petter You do not want to know.

@Donotbelieve I've lived dangerously, in dangerous places, for many years. What's one more? smile001.gif smile001.gif Lol

Edited
3

The Funny Times (which I recommend as it helps give some relief to these times) has a T-shirt that says "The universe is made of Protons, Neutrons, Electrons and Morons".

JackPedigo Level 8 May 16, 2018
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3

I throw underhanded insults at people all the time hahahaha

NothinnXpreVails Level 8 May 16, 2018

I would expect nothing less.

@Donotbelieve smile009.gif

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