Why? Some people don’t mind, some people do mind.

Well... There are people who really think that kids is a ballast. They live their life for fun enjoy it and at the end their will gives all they lived for to favourite dog or cat?. Everyone choose for himself. I love my 2 troublemaker more than anybody or anything in this world. Does it mean I will not be able to love someone else again? I don't think so?. Will her having a kids stop me if she is right for me? Nope. Will my kids stop her? Probably, but than she is not right for me?.

No, you are not undatable for the right person....but you don't have the right to feel offended / bad if a gentleman doesn't want to deal with your kid.

@Glenndonn Allow me to ask you the following:

I never had kids because I didn't want them...why should I make an effort to deal with somebody else's?

@DUCHESSA did I ever said you have to? I wanted to leave behind me some thing or ruther someone who will keep on being in this world long after everything I do or write is forgotten. You - not. Personal choise it's a free world. We just don't fit each other.

@Glenndonn No, what you said was "the person doesn't want to make the effort". IAW, you are judging.
To me a guy with kids is a bigger turn off than a believer....and I never date a believer.

@DUCHESSA so don't YOU judge when you say "guy with a kids bigger turn off then believer?"? I'd go out with ANY girl religious like kids or not, but for long term - like me like my kids?.

@Glenndonn No, dear, I am not judging but stating a preference. When you say "they don't want to make the effort" you are implying a woman have yo put up with your kids. Bulls...ty, dear, pure BS.

@DUCHESSA darling, I don't need anybody's help with my kids or someone to put up with them. I just not interested in girls who have kids allergies ?.

@Glenndonn And that's perfectly OK, doll...but you can't say "they don't want to make the effort". See, in the same way you don't need help w/your kids...they don't need kids...and that places you out of their pic. Accept that men / women with kids do not have the same good chances as the childless do.

That’s harsh. There are tons of children that need loving parent(s) but you might not be a good example for tomorrow.

@Bignate901 Not in the least, and I do not lack empathy. The biological father should be there to raise his own kids (assuming he is still living). Oddly enough, your comment was rather harsh and quick to judgment, but that's fine though.

I raised my ex's kids as my own. Now I have two beautiful grand daughters.

@SpikeTalon I disagree. Someone should care for the children for the sake of society. Biological or adoptive doesn't matter in the least.

@SpikeTalon I make a sometimes unsuccessful effort to combat ideas without ad hom. I meant to refer to the statement or argument as harsh. You may be letting a antiquated notion family color your opinion.

@Bignate901 That's not antiquated at all, it is a personal preference. Fair enough... how about you help all those children you referred to, being it was your idea.

@SpikeTalon I do what I can. And when it's time to settle down, I'll adopt.

@SpikeTalon Just like my parents.

@Bignate901 That sounds reasonable, so long as that's what you want in life, live your life as you so desire. I also say live and let live as well...

@WizardBill You must be new to the internet. lol jk. It happens though.

Cool ... You are an honest asshole ... We are all selfish, but many pretend to be cool ... Especially in the initial phase of a relationship. Thank you for being honest.

Bravo for being responsible like that!!!

@SkotlandSkye thank you, I've had a surprisingly high level of "how dare you be so selfish" type responses over the years

@WhatsInAName But ask any breeder why they have kids and 9/10 times they will start with "I WANTED......" Tell me again who is being selfish? LOL

Just to clarify. When I said "haven't lived" I wasn't refferring to people without kids. What I was trying to say was that baggage can also mean many things. Like debt, a nightmare ex, a painful past, an estranged family member, addiction, health problems...anything that still has consequences for them. It is pretty hard for me to imagine meeting someone who was middle aged and had nothing whatsoever that could be regarded as baggage. I'd even find it questionable. No-one is perfect. We all make mistakes and we all have something to deal with. I'd wonder about a person who seemed to have everything perfect and ask why they have no "baggage" at all. . Have they not had relationships before? Why are they looking for a relationship now? How involved are they with their family? Etc ?

Ahhh !! I have two as well !! I am just few steps ahead. 25 and 23. My oldest is happily married and just had a baby. My youngest lives out of state. Both graduated from college, so they are on their own. Empty nester and loving it. I've always wanted them to be independent so I can die in peace knowing they don't really need me. The job is almost done, my youngest still needs a little bit more work...she really knows how to push my buttons. Anyway, I can relate to your reality and wish you the best through the testing times of college... Cheers !!!