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Just when I thought living alone was better than living with someone who made me feel alone...they come out with all this research about loneliness being a silent killer. Maybe I'll never find the right someone, but I'm convinced I'm still in a better place than before. Share your thoughts and stories, if you care to.

Ange 5 May 17
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15 comments

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2

My motto has always been "I'd rather be alone than wish I was". A bad relationship is much lonelier than being alone.

2

Or with someone using meth
or with someone violent
or with someone sick of you
or with someone just there to use you
or with someone who has you feeling that you were the boobie prize
I'm alone and a bit lonely. But so glad to have peace now. I have a cat and pretty fish to care for. I too have heard that loneliness (not being alone) is a killer. eggs were the killer, butter was the killer, sugar is the killer.. maybe even being alone can be healthy in moderation.

2

One can live alone without being lonely. Many people who live alone are not lonely.

Haven't figured that one out yet for myself. I definitely feel a need for others, and specifically a special someone.

1

Sublimate with guitar.

2

We are social creatures so we need to be social. Lock someone up without any personal communicate with other human and most will go mad.
Im talking in general each person is different. So it can affect us differently.

yes..I've worked in a men's prison. I've seen that even nasty comments and giving an evil eye to the enemy can keep a man more sane than total isolation.

Indeed!

3

I rather like my own company. Sometimes I am a hoot, other times I'm kind and caring and I always give me the best answers. Every once in a while this wears thin and I need to be with my friends. It is possible to have spells of being lonely without giving in to abject loneliness. It is a human condition.

@RoadGoddess chocolate and wine are definite feel goods. And I have no problem taking myself out for dinner and a movie. I dress up for myself too.

2

It's much better to be alone than with someone dysfunctional or toxic. Keep as many friends close as you can. Friends are a great antidote for loneliness.

Only let someone know you intimately once you ascertain they are good for you as a friend.

Thanks. I've been living in a small college town for the last year. I had two friends when I got here, and have made more. I try to put myself in social situations other than just hanging out in the local bars [of which there are a couple of cool ones]. If I remember correctly, you're in Boone, which is small, town with a large college. I love WNC in general, but most of my time has been in Asheville. My great-grandfather was recently [posthumously] inducted into the Blue Ridge Hall of Fame in Wilkesboro, and after performing, we [brother & I] went up to Boone to a house we rented. Went to the original Mast, ate and drank locally, and I rode my bike on a section of the parkway I'd only previously driven. I didn't mean to go on so long, I love talking about WNC!!! I am going to Leicester next weekend.

@Ange

I love Boone, there just aren't enough good jobs for all the liberals who want to stay here! Local government is anti-growth and discouarages new business unless it is promoting tourism, which TBH, ain't what it used to be. I've stayed for the natural beauty and the types of interesting individuals Boone attracts, but unless I break down a local business into hiring me soon, I too will have to move on. It's breaking my heart.

Leicester should be fun, but the whole Asheville area is a little hot and rain foresty for my taste. I prefer the Highlands, with its deciduous to evergreen graduation. I wish the whole state was like the High Country!

2

So far living alone is the best decision i made .. But being lonely is never good . people are life .. 2 good friends can be a good quality of life ?

Nader Level 6 May 17, 2018
3

Loneliness and being single are not the same thing. If you have good friends, that makes all the difference.

3

Bah humbug....being truly alone when everyone thinks you are not eats the interior out of you!

5

Being alone , and being lonely are two different things. I'm alone, and have been for a few years, but I'm rarely lonely. While I do have "relationship pangs" every once in a while, they aren't enough to make me get involved with the wrong person, and be in a bad relationship just for the sake of being in one...........I, like you, appreciate my own company, and have a great circle of friends and some family that are my go-to's.

2

I’ve heard that research too, and have wondered if it’s not a logistical thing, as in, ‘hey,’ what’s that spot behind your shoulder..?’ Just having a second set of eyes.. Or, someone even partially concerned with your health ..nagging you to eat better..?

To me, it’s (quickly) becoming a situation in which I’d rather have 10 relaxing, productive, positive enjoyable years ..than 30 stressful, depressing dreadful ones… Occasionally lamenting a long time marriage, as if ‘something had gone wrong,’ what if something had finally gone right 😉

Varn Level 8 May 17, 2018
1

If you can’t be happy single then you’re not in the right place for a relationship

KenG Level 6 May 17, 2018
1

I am living alone for the first time in my life, I'm 44. I am absolutely loving it!! I moved in August 2017 and have had maybe 2 nights where I really felt lonely.

Do you have platonic friends to hang out with and talk to? That's what generally keeps me from feeling lonely. I'm also enjoying dating and meeting new people. I feel like I'm getting a 2nd chance at life.

1

I've been alone for 35 years and there is nothing wrong with me. now 74 healthy and fit !

right. because there is no one to tell you that they think something is wrong with you .that someone who use to ask you......
"WHAT IS W R O N G WITH YOU ! ?"

@Plant1010J
You have hit the nail on the head !

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