Does anyone else find small talk or talking exhausting. I don't consider myself an introvert and am very outgoing I just like alot of time to myself. I guess I'm a deep thinker.
I hate making small talk. Which is possibly why I love the medical field so satisfying. Because when it comes to conversation, it’s almost always important. I would love to meet someone who can make small talk interesting. I find having conversations or FRIENDLY/POLITE debates so much more entertaining than just the babble we say to fill in the silence.
Don’t get me wrong, when I’m with a girl (that I would like to be with), I don’t mind the small talk. I want to know how her day went, if she wants a foot massage, what she thinks about a tv show episode, etc. But when it comes to random strangers, no thanks.
I am an introvert, love my time alone but love people too. I'm friendly but, used to be extremely shy. I had a terrible time with small talk for a long, long time. I don't initiate small talk now but I have some skill with it and I've learned it has a valuable place. Often, small talk is a screen and behind small talk are two very important possibilities. One, a very human need to connect. I give people opportunity for that ALWAYS because you never know who is lonely and that little bit connecting might be a lifeline. Two, a serious issue that requires a listening ear.
I like being that friend that keeps the small talk, well, small. Nice post, Reddeer.
Being a hermit and all, I can totally relate. A lot of the time, I just don't have much to say. The worst is when people start talking to me simply because they're not comfortable with silence. I hate forced conversation. And really, what is there to talk about?
It's exhausting if I have to con. I never learned the unspoken rules of casual socialization, so I have to put a lot of effort into consciously absorbing what's happening in a given situation and make specific observations to myself for future reference. This is an outward-focused mental activity, and if I then have to suddenly shift gears and focus inwards because someone's asked me a question or something, it's difficult. I often freeze up. Large groups of people are intimidating because there's so much happening at once and I can't keep up.
But I do generally enjoy listening to people gab on about this or that, and if they're skilled enough at social interactions to make me feel relaxed and safe, then I can shift gears more fluidly and be a better conversationalist.
Small talk annoys me after 5 minutes, drama whiney talks annoys me after 1 minutes, didactic BS talk annoys me after 15 seconds. But a good conversation with interesting people can keep me engaged for a long time. I also believe that people can be uncomfortable with silence. It is a rare treat to be with a person who knows there is absolutely nothing wrong just because you are quiet. And please stop asking me, "what's wrong?"
I also like to get lost in my own thoughts and I can amuse myself for quite a while when no one is around, which is often.
Friday may 18 2018, EDT USA
YO! NEW ZEALAND!
Just spoke with a friend in who lives near Melbourne. It is like tomorrow morning there. That is amazing. She is just about straight through the center from here. And she's in the future. She didn't sound like it. No real time delay as we spoke. Must be magic or something.
Also: You don't have to guess. You are a deep thinkee.