I feel the need to call bullshit on the "No Drama" tagline I've seen on dating sites, and here, in the last few years. It comes from men and women (but mostly men, cuz those are the profiles I look at.)
What does "No Drama" mean to you? To me drama = excitement, adventure, passion, fun, interactive, strong emotion, change, and a bunch of other positive things. Of course, I'm a theater geek. I would be happy to have those things in a friendship or in a relationship.
What I'm NOT looking for in a friend or partner is someone with no drama, because to me that means no opinion, no passion, fear of engaging, fear of change/upheaval, unwillingness to argue/disagree. Is that honestly what YOU want? A life with no highs and no lows?
For me that means "no crisis" so I should explain that too. For some people everything is a crisis, like getting stuck in traffic for 2 minutes, or the hamburger is cooked medium rather than medium rare. And these particular incidents throw the person into trauma that takes a dramatic turn into a full blown drama worthy of the worst B movie ever. But I also know that there are men out there that "no drama' means you aren't supposed to ever get mad at them, question them in any way or disagree with them. Sometimes it just takes a while until you see where their scale of "no drama" lies.
I really like this view of drama, feels more accurate
Boys out of control in advanced "adult" ages ARE NOT MEN. ....boys want fucked or worse rape women like Bill Cosby rapes women. ...and girls who tolerate if not provoke "drama" from boys ARE NOT WOMEN. ...children are supposed to learn/model adult behaviors in school and functioning families....
Exactly!
No drama to me would mean they don't want a person in the middle of a contentious divorce. Or with major family issues, either children, parents, or siblings. Or it could mean drug or alcohol issues. In other words, in the middle of the plots of your average soap opera. Dram as entertainment is far more interesting than drama in real life.
Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts and feedback! It's funny how 2 little words can mean such different things to so many different people. what I've learned from y'all is to avoid anyone who uses "no drama" without explaining it, because they are most likely looking for something superficial
To me it refers to making mountains out mole hills, in a relationship. If one person is 5 minutes late making a phone call and the other person freaks out and demands a detailed explanation, etc. That is drama.