Yep. Don't make someone a priority that considers you an option.

I hope you will not be leaving us.....I'll miss you.

Hmmm... I remember when it was one finger...lol.

Maybe at least to start matching their efforts rather than exceeding them or trying to please them, anyway. My wife's family is bizarro this way ... seldom write or email, easily offended, highly avoidant, more likely to ignore an effort at contact than to respond. She has always been the "connector" in the family, but in the past year or two has let go of that and accepted the severe limitations of how her extended family relates to one another. It's too bad, as she's old school and used to really enjoy sending thoughtful occasion cards and gifts, things like that. But when you don't even get a "thank you" (or a "fuck you" for that matter) and they are clearly weirded out by the implied pressure to reciprocate ... it's telling and you should just stop.

My daughter has a tendency to ignore gifts too, it's not how I raised her, but the gifts have stopped and it restores balance and at least she has the good sense not to turn around and complain that I never give her anything. I still send my grandkids birthday gifts; I don't penalize them for their mother's thoughtlessness; that will continue or not when they are of age, depending on their behavior.

Intellectually, makes sense. Emotionally...that's always a different story. Thank you for posting this=o)

Be careful in criticism,one day you might need that persons help[agnostic.com]

I don't know ... some of my best, long time friends , I only hear from sporadically. And they understand when they don't hear from me for a long while. Then, we pick up where we left off the last time. No blame game, no fuss. Just appreciation and love !