It is certainly a good indicator of whether or not you and a prospective spouse would be able to communicate, which is an essential tool for the hard times in a relationship.

Platonic relationships where there's no real sexual tension are a little rare but totally different from romantic relationships or even friendships where one person is looking for a chance that will likely never happen.

A female friend who is married and I have talked about this at length. Our friendship has no sexual tension and we established that before we were good friends. I know her husband, but not nearly as well as I know her. She met my last girlfriend and I valued her insights into our relationship bc she cares for me and understands women differently than I can.

I think part of the issue is semantics. "Friendship" has a specific meaning but can have various connotations;
Purely platonic
One person wanting more
Not quite dating but both are open or wanting to date
The various levels of intimacy in friends with benefits to a LTR committed relationship.
Plus lots of other meanings

Long term romance will have more layers than just sex or they wouldn't last and generally speaking relationships that have those layers of intimacy, care for the other, effective and flexible boundaries...don't have issues around sex. As one of my few remaining Christian friends who has had an awesome 26 year marriage says, when everything else goes well the sex is natural.

I think there are many variations to romantic relationships. I don't have an idealism about how it's supposed to work, because every relationship is different. Sometimes, getting to know someone before sharing intimate sexual fun is important but sometimes sex is a fun thing to share and friendship can grow from there. There isn't a right or wrong way for me. Sex is many different things. I'm not possessive about my partner when I am secure about their love for me. Jealousy is just a reaction to fear of losing something. I don't have that fear. If someone wants to be with me they will. And if they don't want to, I would hope they would say so. I'm an adult and can get through anything.

I'm not searching for my life partner, but that doesn't mean it can't or won't happen. I think searching for that creates a lot of expectations that cause disappointments. I'm more of a pragmatist that looks at the situation and then chooses, at the time, what works for me . If the woman agrees, then we have a start to a relationship to grow from.

Yes yes... love is a vague word but it does make us feel a connection and warmth. As a relationship progresses it might be even more loving to share phrases like, "I really love who you are", "I love that we are able to disagree", "I love when we argue but always find our way back to sharing ourselves with each other" "I love that we are equally committed to each other." Great post... it really is about being committed to a lasting relationship.

Friendship is the most important part. The sex part would be a strong second. ☺

I agree with this. I think friendship is the basis for any solid relationship. I mean...how can it not be? My ex told me one time that I was his wife...not his friend. I remember feeling crushed and basically shut out by that statement. How can you feel true companionship then? How can you learn to understand each other...to like each other? I want to genuinely like the person I'm with and need to feel a comadaradarie with them.

It also helps if you can laugh together; with each other and for each other. It important not to take ourselves too seriously.

I'm leery of it. This dude I knew who thought we were closer of friends than we actually were tried to convince me to take it further on the grounds that one leads to the other and it was how his parents got together so it followed the he and I should, too. I was only just learning my own sexuality and was still very isolated in an abusive parental environment which resulted in my having very few contacts with the outside world, so I had to keep hedging around the subject for years, which got really stressful. Kinda left me a little weird about people insisting on a specific course a relationship 'should' take.

There are many wonderful comments here, so YAY! And I'm also blown away by the ones that seem to think that true friendship and sex are mutually exclusive as apposed to a building block from one to the other....or that taking the time to build a friendship first would take years and no romance would be involved. Ummm...Eeeek. It's not so black and whlte. It's really not that hard, but I guess it is for some people. There is such a thing as organically progressing through friendship into romance...like a touch or caress, or holding hands, or little kisses, and opening car doors, cooking a meal for someone, cuddling while watching a movie, a shoulder massage, and so on... When it's "right" and both parties feel safe and cared for, it always leads to "more". Put in the respectful, trust building effort, and reap the rewards of something genuine.

A lot of good stuff here. In a way I think you're right but there is a difference. I currently am questioning everything about relationships including monogamy (although I'm not sure I could be non-monogamous) and even though a committed monogamous relationship has a 'get along/friendship' component it's not the same as friendship. That kind of deep emotional and physical intimacy changes everything; at least for me. I think it's good to get to know someone a decent amount to see if you get along before trying that kind of intimacy but it's not the same kind of friendship afterwards. That's why after a break-up I need to create some 'distance' to get my head out of that intimate connection. I still may be able to be friends with an ex but that friendship is different than the one I had during the relationship. I actually was trying to figure this out while commenting so I hope it makes sense. Thanks for provoking me to think this through.

I think you’re partially incorrect. Friendship is essential, but so is a primal sexual attraction.

I agree -- if you're not friends, anything else just won't last.

I don't think it's necessary to only have friendship in the beginning, for whatever specified time people might want. I mean sure, I guess there should be at least a little bit of time before getting sexual, but how long? I've had great relationships with people while still being sexual in the first month or so. Personalities will mesh no matter if sex is involved or not. I think people that want to wait 1 to 2 years for sex, or whatever it is, are being unrealistic and doing themselves a disservice. There are plenty of relationships that don't work out, some do it in the OP way, and some don't.

This is why I roll my eyes when dudes complained about being "friend-zoned."

Like dude, if you can't be a friend, you can forget about being more than a friend, too.

Once you stop treating them as a friend it is the beginning of the end. The foundation of the relationship must never crack

My parents talked and laughed every day. That's what I want in a relationship.

Shared recreational activities are a bonding experience for couples. I want a man who also loves hiking.

The sex-charged "honeymoon period" doesn't last. Enjoying each other's company does. Friendship and truly liking each other are a great foundation for building a loving relationship.

I agree to about 80%. It’s not that I disagree, friendship is important. However, I feel that communication (and honesty even when it hurts) between both parties is also needed. Friends lie to each other so not to hurt the friendship. If you can’t tell your partner that they are chewing too loud or you want them to spend more time talking to you instead of playing a game. Or whatever they do that ignores you.

The more one party holds back in order not to hurt the relationship, the more it builds up, the more is becomes poison. Someone once said, secrets are like weights. The more you carry, the harder it is to keep moving forward.

I was just mentioning that to a friend yesterday. I never had a relationship that lasted long without being friends first.

Precisely. Julieta and I were the best of friends before we ever considered getting married. That friendship has held us through the storms of life for a long, long time. Highly recommended.

We'd better get crackin'!--Lol.

Goes without question. There needs to be a strong level of trust and support in a healthy relationship; how else will you make it through challenges which will definitely come up. And it only makes your connection more enjoyable, reassuring and meaningful. With the safety of being who you are with each other and to be loved for it, what could be better

Totally agree.

Why are Women drawn to the "Bad Boy's,and usually ignore the Men that could give them what want? Genes,directing perhaps her choices? What success do older married couples have? those married 40+ years?

My ex-wife and I were best friends (married for 20 years). Because of that bond, we probably stayed together an extra 10 years longer than we should have!

Its just an emotion. Take A chance on a bad boy and see if wild and crazy wakes up something wonderful. When's the last time you said OMG?