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Why do some people say “no problem” instead of “you’re welcome” when someone thanks them? When I was growing up, the only polite response would be “you’re welcome” or “my pleasure.”

Humanlove 7 May 26
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19 comments

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1

Hello thank you. It drives me nuts. I've even made sure to comment and tip say in a drive thru(Burger King once no less! LOL) over this very issue. I also freaking HATE being called "Miss". Uhm- F U! I"m not a "miss" hello! It was so rife in my area felt compelled to look up the protocol for proper use of "Miss" vs "Ma'am" and sure enough there is one and it makes total sense.

Mzzz "MS" is the answer to MR UNIVERSAL. ...Miss or Mrs implies virginity or property of a male somewhere. ...politics is often about polite jousting. ..or as Lincoln said: " the art of tarring and feathering an opponent getting him to thank you for the treatment "

@GreenAtheist Nancy Pelosi is REALLY good at that btw .

Ms would be refreshing also... I wouldn't mind that.

1

Working for years in the restaurant industry, I was given the obligatory thanks a thousand times a day. It"s so automatic, often people forget they've said it the moment it leaves their mouth. I became adept at reading the customer to determine the best reply based on the sincerity of the 'thanks.' I've also used "of course" and "you bet." Being polite & having good manners are conventions of an older society. True appreciation is demonstrated best with actions & words. I received the worst tips from guests who thanked me profusely and some of the best from people who barely acknowledged my presence.

1

The concept of manners has changed a lot since I was young (back when dinosaurs still roamed the planet). It is to be expected that the language surrounding them would also change.

1

my pleasure? My pleasure? ...in response to thanking someone for doing something? Seems the same, to me as "no problem." Much ado about nothing?

1

Sometimes they are Not welcomed and is Not a pleasure but it Was Not a problem.

4

After someone does a favor for you, the polite thing to do is not get in a tizzy about what platitude they use afterwards

2

I think it's a regional or generational thing. It's like a friend from the U.S. Midwest who would always say "you bet" or another from the West Coast who would always say "for sure."

4

Would your rather it be a problem? LOL! I would take it. I had family members that would help but then give me a lecture about biting off more than I could chew or how not to screw something up enough to need help. I'd rather take the "no problem" from help.

AmyLF Level 7 May 27, 2018
1

I think it's fine.

1

The spirit is the same, "you owe me no debt of gratitude" is the message in all.

3

It seems kind of cranky to thank someone and then feel aggrieved at their manner of responding.

Cranky pants Q here! 😀

7

What’s impolite about no problem/de nada/it was nothing? Like dellik said it’s a bit more modest of a response if anything.

2

Ugh, who knows? I've also noticed "yep" has become the stand-in for "yes". I miss proper English.

6

Generational thing.

‘No problem’, coming from a millennial’s mouth, within the context of helping someone – whether it be holding a door open/picking up something someone may have dropped/etc. – and, naturally, being thanked for it, implies that the kind gesture was indeed, not a problem, that it was just the thing to do, that they were happy to help and that no thanks was really necessary.

While a Baby Boomer’s ‘You’re welcome’ in contrast, says something miles different, it actually highlights the fact that the person went out of their way to help someone; almost brings attention to it in a way, saying 'Yeah, I helped you, I did you this favor I accept your thanks.’ which, malicious intent or not, is strikingly different than the millennial downplay of their act of kindness for the sake of helping someone.

I disagree, "welcome" is an invitation and implies that you would do another favor if asked again. None of these are really literal, that both people enjoyed the exchange and acknowledged is the important part.

@Buttercup I understand what you mean, but (and please understand I don't mean this in an antagonistic way) you actually just supported my statement by with yours.. by refering to it as a favor 🙂

Ugh. When dealing with service people, as service is hideous in the midwest "No problem" GRATES. I just roll my eyes to self.
me: Asks for something of a service person, "Thank you".
SP: "No problem"
My thought bubble "Oh cool, glad your bleedin job isn't a PROBLEM". smh
Here I am, being polite and not using staff as a means of sharpening claws (as seems to be another disgusting behavior in SE Mich)...and we get a no problem. Ok.

Feral rachet creatures.... lol

@Qualia you find someone telling no problem, in response to thank you rude? I can't comprehend how that makes any sense, I mean. You thank them for inconveniencing themselves, and they are telling you 'all good, not an inconvenience. How is that offensive?

Its Literally the opposite. The service isnt the problem, I think you are.

@dellik Try greater detroit after being a southern expat. Rudeness is a sport here.
Your reply doesn't surprise me though.

@Qualia If you find everyone to be rude, the problem is clearly you.

3

Because I want to? I do very little in hopes of thanks, or even appreciation. I do things for others because it’s what I want to do and thanks are nice...but not expected.
I do have a slight scorn for certain social platitudes, small talk, and political correctness. My childhood was colored by my narcissistic mother’s concern with ‘appearances’. It did affect me!

1

Seems courtesy isn’t required, recognized, seldom appreciated.
Please and thank you... so easy... does it matter?... to some of us it does, I like it.

Tomas Level 7 May 27, 2018
3

does it really matter?

5

In Spain, the proper response to "Gracias" is "de Nada"....just a custom

1

because not all cultures are polite like that.

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