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Things Not To Say During Sex

#sex
sassygirl3869 9 May 27
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26 comments

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7

Level 5

Does this look infected to you?

6

Level 5

"Is it in yet?"

5

Level 8

Hey Sis you're almost as good as mum.

Yeah, that's what Dad said.

4

Level 9

George the ceiling needs painting.
George don't wilt on me now but my husband is behind you with a shotgun, a big jar of vaseline and he is dropping his trousers.
George keep pumping in time with my husband's strokes.
George roll me over I want to be meat in the sandwich.

4

Level 5

I'm sorry, what was your name again?

4

Level 6

Oh Laurel!

4

Level 9

I say bro, you're much better at shagging than dad.
I know sis. Mum told me.

4

Level 4

How about, "This doesn't mean anything, right?

3

Level 8

I have a story that might sound amusing. Decades ago, when I was young (I used to be young once) ... my ex cheated on me. I called him and said "This is it - we are history." He said "I am so sorry and please let me visit you one last time." I said "All right - come on over." I went to my neighbor across the hall and said "Do me a favor - listen carefully - ten minutes after you hear my door open and close, go outside, knock on my windows loud and holler "This is Paul - you better let me in - I know you are in there!" He did so. My soon-to-be ex got scared and said "Who is that outside?" I said "It's my new boyfriend - he is possessive and jealous and he carries a gun. Run for your life!" He grabbed his clothes and ran out of my apt, ran down the hall buck nekked holding his clothes. My and my accomplice laughed our buns off.

SKH78 Level 8 May 28, 2018
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3

Level 7

I actually had a guy tell me that I wouldn't be able to stay the night because his mom may come home. This "man" was in his late 50's/early 60's. Needless to say, I found a real quick excuse to leave.

3

Level 9

And l thought your mother was good!

2

Level 5

Husband to wife:
"Please try to be quieter when you orgasm.
It wakes me up."

2

Level 7

Why do your kisses taste like semen?

2

Level 8

Geronimo?

2

Level 7

I have to poop!!!!...??lol

2

Level 8

Easy to remember just do not talk.

1

Level 4

I know but everything looks smaller in the Grand Canyon......

1

Level 7

Is it in?

1

Level 8

It's so little!! Are you finished? Am I finished?

SKH78 Level 8 May 28, 2018
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1

Level 2

Things a wife DON'T like to hear during sex: "Honey, I'm home!

From the bottom of the stairs?
1

Level 5

?

1

Level 9

LMAO

1

Level 7

Oh so that’s ?

1

Level 8

What about. you are just as good as your sister !

0

Level 8

Move your head just a little to the right so I can see the TV

lerlo Level 8 June 3, 2018
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